I believe it's possible to articulate why you are upset with someone without exploding. What determines whether or not I address an issue at the moment depends on (where) we are or who may be with us.
Sometimes people want to "go off" on a person for (ego) reasons to show the other person how "tough or strong" they can be. Very often this puts the other person on the defensive and may cause them to fight fire with fire. It's important to figure out your "outcome goal" before you speak. Are you looking to be understood or you seeking to "punish" or "teach them a lesson". There is an old quote that states:
"Anger is the mask that Hurt wears"
Most of the time if someone loves you they will not "intentionally" seek ways to hurt you. Odds are if you let them know they hurt you by doing whatever they'll offer a sincere apology. Yelling and screaming rarely leads to a (sincere) apology or understanding.