Absolutely! I've been "preaching" this for years! The number one cause for divorce in my opinion is and always has been (selecting) the "wrong mate" for ourselves!
Too many people let "happenstance" determine the birth of a new relationship. They simply "go with the flow". If you go to the store to purchase an apple but buy an onion instead... Whose fault is that? Do you curse the onion for not being an apple? No! You learn to become a "better shopper"! You have to know yourself well enough to know what it is (you) want and need in a mate. Then you must have the self discipline to stick to (your) shopping list.
Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. There is no escaping this fact. You are responsible for your own happiness! Most recently I published a book on this very subject.
My Cat Won't Bark! (A Relationship Epiphany)