How can I make myself stop loving my now ex bf of a year, who randomly moved to

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   str8ruthlessposted 11 years ago

   How can I make myself stop loving my now ex bf of a year, who randomly moved to mexico?

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   JThomp42posted 11 years ago

   Time my friend. This is the only thing that heals a broken heart, is time.

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   duffsmomposted 11 years ago

   It is very difficult to love someone who does not return those feelings.  And as JT says, "time" is the only proven cure for a broken heart. In the mean time, keep busy, spend time with friends and don't look for love. It will find you when you least expect it and your lost love in Mexico will have lost his chance--and believe me when that happens you will no longer care what he thinks.

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   dashingscorpioposted 11 years ago

   You don't (make) yourself fall in love and you don't (make) yourself fall out of love. The most important thing to remember is your future lies ahead of you and not behind you. An ex is an ex for a reason and it's usually a good reason.
   The definition of "soul mates" is two people who share the same values, want the (same) things for the relationship, and naturally agree on how to obtain them. Last but not least they have a (mutual) love/desire/and respect for one another.
   In order for him to be "the one" he would have to see you as being "the one", Naturally if someone has chosen not to be with you they don't see you as being "the one". Awhile back I wrote a hub regarding getting over breakups. Best of luck! http://dashingscorpio.hubpages.com/hub/ … in-General

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   Apostle Jackposted 11 years ago

   It is call replacement. You must have or find an equal value of what you lost or have given up if you want to x-out something in your life. Otherwise,you can forget it.

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   jennshealthstoreposted 11 years ago

   The first thing to remember is that it is going to hurt at first. Once  you accept that you will be able to move on to the next step. I would not go out and find a replacement because that is only going to hide your true feeling which will later surface. Take this time to learn about yourself and start rebuilding your life. It is hard to make a complete change and having a person in your life one minute and not the next can be scary, I know. I wrote a hub which speaks about common emotions after a breakup. We all go through stages and differently I may add, but just because your life will be different, it does not mean it will be worse or bad. Sometimes people come into our lives just for a while to teach us something, remember that. Good luck.

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   ii3rittlesposted 11 years ago

   You just choose to stop. Real love is a choice. You simply don't "fall" in & out of love. If you feel like your can't simply stop, its not real love. The entertainment industry has made love look like an uncontrollable emotion & it is nothing like that. You know what is? Lust. Lust will make you believe you love a person through constant thinking & infatuation of them. Lust will have a fire that burns in your gut. Lust is like a sickness and until you are able to control your emotions and take control of your heart, this will continue to be a pattern you face with future relationships. I have been there before. Feeling like you can't live without him. Crying, and feeling helpless... Trust me, that is lust. When you learn what true, real love is, you will see the huge difference. Love is patient, love is kind.

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      jennshealthstoreposted 11 years agoin reply to this

      Love is patient, love is kind.. I totally agree with you! I have experienced lust and true love and it is so true.. Until you have experienced true love, you will never know what it is!!

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   stricktlydatingposted 11 years ago

   Try setting yourself a time frame to deal with your major feelings about him and then made a strong decision not to invest in the dead relationship - because you know it is not a positive thing for you.  Buy a breakup book, write poetry, keep busy with your friends and family, join a new hobby group. Delete him from your social networks and his number from your phone etc. 
   
   I have been in your position previously.  I decided to give myself 2 weeks to be sad over how stupid he was to leave and then told myself I'd think "Stop!" every time my mind started to wonder to him again.
   
   I've written some Hubs on this topic, which you might find helpful too.
   
   Best wishes for your new future.

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   Justsilvieposted 11 years ago

   You often hear people say we are responsible for our own happiness so it follows we must also be responsible for our own sadness. You may not be able to make yourself stop loving someone but you can work on making yourself happy without them.  Take a vacation, pamper yourself, enjoy time with family, single friends, or children. 
   
   Write!!! Write poetry, writing about your feelings is a wonderful way to work through them.  You have signed up for Hubpages use it as tool to help yourself.
   
   Smile a lot!  If it is not a real one yet, fake it till you make it. Life is short don’t waste a precious moment of it on regrets.

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    savvydatingposted 11 years ago

    Instead of keeping your focus on all the exciting romance you had together (or any warm, cozy thoughts you cherish), you have to (sometimes) replace those thoughts with the negatives about him. His leaving randomly was a negative. It showed he lacked character. What else did he do that was selfish? I'm not saying you should dwell on these negatives all the time, because the LAST thing you want to feel is bitterness, but you have to remind yourself of them from time to time, especially when your heart strings are tugging you to think of how perfect he was in so many other ways.
    Having said that, the heart goes where it wants to go. Some of us take a long time to get over someone we love. In some ways, that's a good thing. It can mean you have a big heart, hold no animosity, and can eventually heal in a balanced way, rather than a bitter way. Also, when you finally do let go, you can feel good about it because: you have faced the reality regarding his not so good side, and you'll feel confident in the knowledge that you deserve better.
    Whatever happens, never feel bad about not being able to get over him right away.

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