Chosing the (right) mate for yourself!
Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse. No matter what happens we cannot escape the fact that we said (yes) at some point in time.
In my opinion the number one cause for breakups and divorce is selecting the wrong mates for ourselves!
Ideally you want to choose someone who shares your same values, wants the same things for the relationship, (naturally agrees) with you on how to obtain them, and has the same depth of love, desire, and respect for you as you have for them.
In order for him or her to be "the one" they have see you as being "the one".
A large part of the problem is people don't enter into relationships with complete awareness of who they are, what they want, and need in a mate. They become emotionally invested in someone before that person reveals their "authentic selves". The next thing they do is try to (change) their mate or hope they change overtime.
When it comes to relationships most of us (fail our way) to success! Very few us meet "the one" the first time out the gate. Live and learn.