Do you think it is okay to snoop in a relationship?

1. 63

   Zaiden Jaceposted 10 years ago

   Do you think it is okay to snoop in a relationship?
   
   Checking phone, email, mail

   replyreport
2. 46

   DDEposted 10 years ago

   It is not okay to snoop in a relationship the partner you have should be trustworthy not the kind that is going to make you want to snoop around it is not worth having someone in your life if you are going snoop in their messages.

   replyreport
3. 61

   duffsmomposted 10 years ago

   No I don't think it is okay. If a person has to check those things to feel secure there is something very wrong with the relationship. I don't want a man I have to check on and keep tabs on.   If a person is in a relationship where they feel the need to check on those things, there is something so fundamentally wrong it isn't funny.

   replyreport
4. 41

   ChristinSposted 10 years ago

   Totally unacceptable. My ex-husband is living with a woman who is like this now and I can't talk sense into him. She goes through his texts, emails, FB and has even pulled the numbers of all his contacts out of his phone and started calling them.  This is the mildest of the bizarre behaviors she's since displayed. That was just how it started.
   
   Later, she went on to snap on him, screaming and yelling in front of our son while he was visiting, now our son is not allowed over to his dad's house because I don't want him exposed to that.  She went so far as to threaten to hurt herself and then call the cops saying he did it.  He's throwing away a 13 year relationship with his son over a woman who acts like a psycho - The first signs? She thought she was justified going through his personal stuff.  He never did anything remotely like cheating - she is just that insecure... pitiful and potentially dangerous!
   
   In my opinion a snooper is a huge, gigantic RED FLAG that is pointing to future abuse.  If someone has to invade your privacy to feel secure and/or to control you that is not a healthy relationship.

   replyreport
   1. 63

      Zaiden Jaceposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      Whoa.. I don't know who is crazier, the woman for behaving that way or your ex for staying with her.

      replyreport
   2. 61

      fpherj48posted 10 years agoin reply to this

      WHOA, is right, Zaiden!   Ditto to your comment.  Christin honey, I feel for you & your son.  THIS is commonly referred to, in the MH field as plain old "cuckoo!"   You are 100% correct about the RED FLAG!

      replyreport
5. 61

   Acmonteroposted 10 years ago

   I think that if there is a need to snoop in a relationship, then there is no future in that relationship. Trust is key to help a relationship thrive. Snooping is a sign of insecurity, no trust, doubt, etc. If any of these are in the relationship, then something is most definitely wrong.

   replyreport
6. 61

   fpherj48posted 10 years ago

   Keeping close tabs on (a.k.a "snooping") one's children is a parental responsibility.  No doubt about this.
   Snooping on an ADULT in your life....(spouse, live-in, sibling, etc) ??   I'll simply say that I believe, feeling a NEED to do so is extremely sad.   If you are compelled to snoop...."something" is terribly wrong.....somewhere.  It may be more beneficial to use that time, focusing on the outlying issues.....and then taking action to repair or eliminate.

   replyreport
   1. 41

      ChristinSposted 10 years agoin reply to this

      I agree on the kids - my kids only have internet access in my presence for example - the can't access it from their bedroom etc. I think that's less like snooping though and more about protecting the young and potentially naive .

      replyreport