I think that as people grow together in a marriage, sometimes we slip as humans.
My grandparents were married 60 years and had turbulent arguments before bed around the last 10 years before my grandmother died. They loved each other nonetheless but looking in from outside made a person weary.
Don't let the sun go down on your anger. Treat each moment as if it's the last good night. Maybe make a ritual out of watching a favorite show together or playing a board game. Taking a moonlit stroll or sitting in a coffee shop relaxing by a favorite slice of pie. Life is hard enough to go to bed stressed. Sleeping is for relaxing.
What does the spouse like to do? Favorite hobby? Best loved sweets? Think about ways to make him/her happy while snuggling in for a good night's rest.