To any man or a woman in this situation, perhaps the following would help:
1. If "the die is cast" so to speak, applaud yourself for your nobility in handling the situation. This is perhaps one of the hardest things we humans have to face in life - the loss of love as we once knew it. If you're handling this with grace and dignity, marvel at your ability to do so. You might even want to go out and buy yourself a little treat!
2. Start planning your next big trip; your next big project, etc. This type of distraction can bring us happiness during sorrowful times. (Last night I was trying to get to sleep thinking happy thoughts of the PAST :( and suddenly I thought, "Why am I doing THAT?" I want to think of happy plans in the FUTURE!) Little kids do that all the time, and I think that's how they keep themselves so happy and excited. So in the middle of the night I wore myself out with happiness by planning my upcoming birthday party. (I decided to rent a karaoke machine. See what I mean?)
3. Be sure to keep your standards high in your search of a new "best friend' or partner and find someone with even MORE wonderfully compatible qualities. Don't "settle" out of fear or lonliness. While no one is "better" than another, it's important to find someone who matches you as well and perhaps even BETTER than the person you lost. Find that exceptional person and remember that person is also searching for YOU!
4. Be assured that one day, you will be able to look back at all the wonderful memories and realize they are YOURS. They are no other person's. The interactions you have or had with another cannot be duplicated. No one else has had those, not even the new spouse. Those memories belong to you and YOU own them. They are yours to keep and to cherish.
I have to add that all of this may or may not be based on psychologically heathy coping mechanisms. Therefore, it should be "taken under advisement," "with a grain of salt," and with one's own "tweeking" of the concepts.
Cheers from Billie