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Christin Sander says
I totally agree here about the motivation being key. I've helped my ex husband out of a jam and my current husband had no issue, but it was a true emergency. He's also helped us out previously and his GF lost her mind but it was for our sons needs.
My thought here is "would I do this to my wife?" And the answer is no. An ex is an ex for a reason, so you dont shift responsibility around, and you leave gray areas, or cracked doors. Out of line.
It's not about "would I do this to my wife?" but rather "Would you do it for your child?" Again if you had a child with your ex would you not want to help make that child's life comfortable? Just because they're not together doesn't absolve him.
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Jykeith Comal says
Your missing the point. "I didn't know anything about it" me and him are not friends. She never had a female just showing up unannounced. Because I have respect.
You said in another response they share a child - that means they share a common bond. She should have told you yes, but at the same time, if this was for the child or a true need, it shouldn't be a "humiliating" issue. He has obligations.
Not sure if you accidentally deleted my last comment or not but I believe your statement: "It was very humiliating, and emasculating." is the real issue! You always have the option to pay him back when you can. He's providing help for his child.
Yes "dashing" it was an accident. But like I said, I new nothing about the money. I was confused. Maybe for one moment, see it from my pov.
Jykeith, See it from (his) point of view! Imagine you had a child with one of your exes. She needed money for allergy medicine. Would you give it to her to help out with (your child). Is she wrong to come to you? It would be different w/o child.
It wasn't for her child it was for her. I would have bought it, but she never told me anything! The medicine was for an Adult!
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Holly Jenkins says
Yes she had other options, but its like they have this sick safety net thing going on for each other. He asks for favors as well. They also have one child together. He has girlfriends, and I tell my wife he should ask them for favors.
You need to communicate EXACTLY how you feel. Be open and honest about the fact you're uncomfortable with her using him as a "safety net." Then, if she continues to do it, have a plan in place to exit the relationship.
Holly your right. We have be together for 6 years, these are only a few things. The problem is I obviously respect her more then she respects me. Its trying as well, I'm about to be 41 this is enough. And we have talked Holly, nothings changed.
We usually know the answer deep down inside; however, it never hurts to make sure you're right. You deserve someone who is honest with you as you are with them. Good luck! I pray you get some peace!
Thank you Holly
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