Katy.....What a question!! "Negative feelings" we have for someone who was once (OK here we go again....make me say it)...."The love of our life," begin to take hold due to UNRESOLVED ISSUES.
Huge issues aside,,,,,it's the day by day little "nit-picking" things that pile up, fester, remain unaddressed and just lay in one's gut, simmering slowly to a rolling BOIL.
Suddenly, we're looking at the same person we couldn't wait to marry and have a life with....like "WHO the hell is this person in my house and WHEN is he/she leaving so I can be happy again?" OK....I'm just making a point, but you must agree, It's fairly close to accurate.
When it gets to the point that we're desperately looking for that "manual for marriage" we never got as a wedding gift.....that's both good and bad. Good, because you care enough to want to do something positive about your waning love life, your frustrations & mostly you really want to FALL IN LOVE AGAIN. Also "Bad" that we're facing a reality we didn't expect......ever. What to do?
Whatever it takes and however you two need to arrange it, have a pleasant, calm face to face and decide whether you're both on the same page in terms of saving the marriage and rekindling the love. If you are.....you're already more than half-way there.
Then as closely as possible, bring yourselves back in time to when you met and began to fall in love...I"M SERIOUS. Go to some of the places you went to then (or reasonable facsimiles) do the things you used to do. Talk about some of the same things you did when you were just getting to know one another. A refresher course never hurt anyone. Do the loving, sweet, romantic things for one another you did when you were HOPING to woo him/her and especially say the positive things to one another as sincerely as you did back then. Spend a lot of time in bed.
This is not a step by step tutorial. You get the gist. I know you do. You're on your own from here.......IT WORKS!! Good luck!