Why do guys always send girls mixed messages?

1. 60

   lxd35posted 13 years ago

   Why do guys always send girls mixed messages?
   
   I always heard if a guy likes you and wants to talk to you, he will, but what happens if he initiates conversation then stops talking after I answer? I'm confused, help!

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2. 73

   SteveoMcposted 13 years ago

   They do not send mixed messages always.   Only sometimes.   I think that tryone is partially right.   Girls quite often do not want the truth, they want romance or something romantic.   
   
   My favorite girls have always been the ones that I feel free to say whatever I wanted to say and they have the strength and self assurance to join in or laugh it off.   And they are honest and open.
   
   Life can be pretty fun, but it is all that much funner if the games are kept at a minimum.

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3. 60

   lxd35posted 13 years ago

   I understand, but what if he's not saying contradicting things but instead he's acting like he wants to talk and then not saying anything, it's quite confusing.

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4. 61

   Kelley Harmonposted 13 years ago

   It just sounds like this guy is socially awkward. I don't really know the situation, so I can't give much advice. My boyfriend is shy around people and was very quiet around me when we first met. I led the conversation, asked him out on our first date, and after six years of dating told him not to worry about proposing. If and when the time is right, I'll pop the question to him. He was relieved.
   
   There really aren't any set guy behavioral pattens. If he's shy but seems to want your attention, just take the lead.

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5. 85

   stricktlydatingposted 13 years ago

   If a guy is really interested in you, you usually won't end up feeling like you're getting mixed messages.   
   
   If he's stopped talking after you've answered him he could be shy and just not know what to say next, giving you the chance to strike up some conversation with him, at least since you've spoken now you may be able to do that in the future,  but he also might just have been being friendly at the time,  so I would read to much into it.

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6. 91

   kalinin1158posted 13 years ago

   In my experience, when I get "mixed messages" and begin feeling confused about how the guy feels about me, it literally means he has mixed feelings. On the one hand, he likes me, on the other hand, there's someone in his recent past who he's not over yet. Whatever the reason, he's just not sure. It's up to you whether you want to wait for him to "figure it out", sounds like he needs a bit of couching anyway...
   
   My position is: "mixed messages" in general are a red flag. Now if you're considering just taking the initiative in your own hands and "leading the way", you should know that that's not gonna help the confusion: unfortunately, the only way to know if the guy really likes you is if he actively pursues you.

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   Always Greenerposted 13 years ago

   He might be nervous maybe, and gets more nervous around you when you talk because he really likes you

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8. 57

   juiwei2000posted 13 years ago

   Ha ha ha that is funny, guys feel the exact same way about girls.  That is the thing about the dating world, because guys and girls have different wave length in the dating world, everybody just keep guessing what the opposite sex want. 
   
   I know most guys like it when a girl just be direct with them, when they are interest or not interest. (which mean just be direct and say, yes I like you and I want to go out with you or say sorry I am not interest in you.)
   
   Some girls like it better when a guy would just be direct and walk up to them in a bar and say hi rather then some wired pickup line.
   
   That is generally. 
   
   Also, to my knowledge usually when a guy is not that interest in a girl, the girl would most likely be forever get stuck in the friend zone.  Where when a girl is not interest in a guy, sometime the guy can still get the girl.eventually, through different techniques.  Mostly due to the fact guys are logical in love where girls are emotional in love (which ironically is why the dating world also seem like guys love with their penis and girl love with their head.)
   
   In my opinion when a guy initiates a conversation but then stop, it might be because, the guy doesn't think you are interest in him and gave up, can't think of anything to say to you (PS: think back to when you were 14 years old, wierd silent happen in conversation quiet often when you were that age.) or sometime they are just too tire and/or not interest in you enough to try that hard.  Sometime the guy might just simply lost interest in you (for example, maybe you look like his type when he see you from a distance, but once close up, he found you not to be his type at all or maybe for example, you have the same name as his mother and he find it to be disturbing etc.)  As a guy, in my experience those are the most common reason why I stop talking to a girl. 
   
   If you are interest in a guy, you have to show yourself to be interest and sometime need to drive the conversation going.  If he is interest in you, he would keep playing along.  If he is not interest in you then...well...if he is a nice guy he would keep talking to you (but you might be forever stuck in the friend zone) if he is not interest in you, he might find some lame excuse a run.

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9. 61

   Jonathan Jancoposted 12 years ago

   Men get nervous when they talk to women. From my own personal point of view I can give these insights:
   - if I approach you (that is you being whoever you may be; the woman in question) and start chatting you up like it's no big deal, then chances are I am not sexually/romantically interested in you. When this happens, there is a much more likely chance that one of my friends who I am hanging out with is the one who's interested in you. If we hit it off, I'll say 'why don't you come over to the other side of the bar (it might not be a bar, but let's say it is) and meet my friends'. It usually works out just fine.
   
   - on the other hand, if I talk to you after taking a lllooonnnggg time to make that leap of faith and we are talking and you sense in me an inability to keep the conversation going, chances are it is because my heart's beating out of my chest and I'm having trouble breathing. I'm also probably convinced that everyone around me can notice this, which causes me to feel self-conscious. Women might not notice this, but we always think you do.
   
   - also, I find it worth pointing out (and I am only speaking for myself, but have noticed the same traits in other men who share my other major qualities) that women do many things that seem to come naturally to them that men (men with some grasp of basic logic, at least) find to be a discouragement or even outright rejection. Being exagerratedly aloof, constant conversational interruptions, blatant lies about something trivial and playing hard to get all fall into this category as far as I am concerned.
   
   If you can interpret the msg for what it really is rather than what it appears to be, it should not be mixed. Of course, I suffer the same confusion with women so don't feel too bad.
   If this guy is anything like me, I would guess he is very, very hot for you, but maybe needs to get it into his head that he is good enough to pursue you.

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10. 69

    chasemillisposted 12 years ago

    I'm not going to lie, us men are weird       
    I think I may do this, but only on accident sometimes
    Jonathan Janco does make a good point though

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11. 59

    Variety Writerposted 12 years ago

    Because women are from Venus and men are from Mars.

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12. 59

    sun of zymposted 12 years ago

    1.  What makes it a mix message in the first place?
          a).  Are you sure the mix up didn't come from you, being that you now question it, whereas you may have been the one who wanted it to go somewhere, and when it didn't, you lost the opportunity and as a result, became confused.
          b).  What was the conversation about that caused it not to go further, and when it didn't why didn't you respond to take it further, and if that didn't work, change the conversation to make it seem that you two could talk about anything...
                 1)  that would have eased him away from any prospect of a romantic interlude;  who knows what could have happened after you rubbed his belly with the food of friendly conversation.
    
    It's all about positioning yourself in his mind, as in anything else in life;
    Some men are afraid of women to the point that they wait for "that" perfect moment that sadly may never come, or did, but were to blind to take advantage of the situation...
    
    Cheer up, if it doesn't work at the third attempt, be gracious, and part, at least you made a friend that day...
    
    As far as what you've heard, remember this, not everything you hear is always correct, take a look around, we do live in a fast paced world...the rest is up to you.

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13. 60

    whoisbidposted 12 years ago

    I have a hard time with certain women because I am friendly and some women take that the wrong way thinking that I like them. Of course I like them but what does "like" mean to her?

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    ithabiseposted 12 years ago

    I'm shocked at the suggestion! I see it the other way: It's women always sending mixed messages. Guys are the analytical ones...and maybe the ones unable to commit...but still.

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       violetheavenposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       It isn't only the females who give the mixed messages. Guys aren't always the analytical ones. To say such shows the amount of gender stereotyping you have been instilled with. Its a personality trait not tied into whether they are male or female.

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15. 61

    stariswhoiamposted 12 years ago

    it depends on the context...
    they could be really nervous,
    maybe he just happened to stop talking and if you were to say something else he'd continue talking,
    maybe they're a player and they pretend to be interested but aren't,
    a way to tell is how often they initiate conversation with you in terms of whether or not they have a crush on you,
    there are many possibilities as to why they're doing that...
    the only sure way of knowing if a guy likes you is if they're actively pursuing you
    maybe you could ask them why they stop talking...
    also guys don't always send girls mixed messages

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16. 62

    moshe1posted 10 years ago

    To be honest, we are not thinking about what messages we are sending most of the time. Men are more literal, and women are more emotional. So, naturally women will try to place emotion on messages they think men are sending, and will drive themselves crazy trying to make sense of it all. You do it to yourself. You trying and place meaning on what you think we are thinking, and end of playing out multiple scenarios in your mind of what we could be thinking. This is where you began to create the different mix of messages you think we are sending. Again, you do it to yourself.

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       violetheavenposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       and all it takes is a set of questions to determine the real meaning

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17. 60

    TB Bullockposted 10 years ago

    He is probably putting on a facade, as we often truly care but honestly think that we have to pretend that we don't in order to maintain the attention of any girl. I have no idea why this game is played (maybe MTV, etc...?) but I know that all 11 girls that I have dated required this strange step. Consequently, the 1 that I have ever actually been interested was immediately turned off by complete honesty (in between 6&7), but it probably is nothing to worry about. It might be different here than where you are, but I think if you just go with the flow it will all work out. Take care.

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18. 46

    Rae Saylorposted 10 years ago

    Because we, women, are complicated (in a good way) beings, and men just don't know how to deal with it.

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       Larry Wallposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Humans are complicate. The first way to avoid confusion is that neither party, male or female, should think they are superior in any way to the other. I knew a girl, about 90 lbs.Some guy thought he was stronger. She could break boards with one hand.

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19. 47

    DDEposted 10 years ago

    Guys who send girls mixed messages enjoy playing mind games but also if girls take the messages the wrong way it is another way of looking at the situation

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20. 71

    Don Fairchildposted 10 years ago

    Hummm, maybe he didn't like the answer, and he is too polite to argue or disagree with you.......  Maybe he is shy and has a hard time carrying a conversation?

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       violetheavenposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       or maybe he is just having anxiety over impressing her instead of just being his authentic self.  LOL kids.

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    amiebutchkoposted 10 years ago

    I think it is because they don't even think in the realm of how we think. It may all be one big misunderstanding with men and women.  Now that I have sons, I see so much more clearly, that women and men just have different thoughts, intentions, motivations....  I don't think they know what we want - I think they learn it.  (Of course, this is a huge generalization!)

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22. 0

    Larry Wallposted 10 years ago

    I agree with those who cannot understand why women send mix messages about what they expect and want in a relationship.
    
    My wife and I have been married for 33 years and we often ask, what do you mean or what do you think we should do, depending on the situation,
    
    The solution is to communicate. If you do not understand, ask questions. if you still do not understand, it might be best to move on down the road.

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       violetheavenposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       How about just asking well thought out clear concise questions. That's what I have to do with vague mixed messages.

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23. 49

    padmendraposted 10 years ago

    It is because that's what is going on in the mind of a guy. He may be thinking, okay, I like this girl. I like texting her as well. Though the girl gets bored of his all these texts and does not talk to him.  If he says something wrong in the text and the girl does not understand what the guy was trying to say.  He again thinks that it would be better to talk to her in person. But after a while he suddenly makes up his mind and send an sms expressing his interest in her.

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    violetheavenposted 10 years ago

    Men are socially inept. They are at a far lower level of communicational functioning than the female of our species.  I think that in a lot of ways this question is posed from a position of lacking self esteem, It doesn't matter if he stops asking or talking. Maybe he is thinking. Maybe he is analyzing the words you just spoke, or hanging back to see what you do. In all honesty, it shouldn't affect you.   Just be you. If you want something real with someone, it won't matter how much they speak or not. Things will workout the way they are meant to. You just have to be yourself and you will attract and hold the people who honestly like your company and who you are.  Playing one way or another only presents a false front. Take life and people as they are and take every moment as it comes. There is nothing you can do to change others that won't end poorly. Changing yourself to suit someone else leaves you with nothing but resentment towards that person.   Take a deep breath.  You are beautiful and ought to be loved as you truly are.

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       violetheavenposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       When facing vague or mixed messages ask clear concise, well thought out direct questions to get the answers you need. If you come off to strong.... at least you aren't dealing with the nonsense of mixed messages.

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25. 61

    UMHiramposted 10 years ago

    In my opinion, I think he is either confused or still trying to figure you out or what it is he really wants.

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26. 80

    Attikosposted 10 years ago

    We tend to be tentative, which is the basis for what you read as mixed messages, because we haven't a clue what women want. We are programmed to protect, to provide and to please, but we get jerked around so much by women who run hot and cold, but most of all treat us like either alien beings or the butts of jokes, it's kind of hard know what to say. Take the plank from your own eye, woman, then worry about the speck in mine.

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27. 74

    NC4Life078posted 10 years ago

    The first notion we can derive is; "If a guy you don't know, wants to talk to you he will". This isn't always the case. Guys can be just as nervous as girls when initiating a conversation, like all things it just depends on the person. I can't emphasize this enough; for example have you ever wanted to do something, but, still decided against it?
    
    Next, If a guy likes you, this makes me believe you already know the guy. If he does like you it wouldn't make sense for him not to talk to you assuming the circumstances aren't preventing him from doing so. Besides this, maybe he just isn't feeling like talking, I'm sure we all can relate.
    
    As far as carrying on a conversation. He may not know what to say, or perhaps he took it as rhetorical if it was a question. Perhaps the conversation had little interest to him or maybe he is nervous. But, don't make excuses for the behavior if it happens frequently. You know when someone is just not into you. You ask a question, one word response. Even if you were talking about their favorite things. If you feel like your struggling to keep a conversation time and time again. I would say it is safe to presume that they have little interest in you (It sucks, but, it happens).

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28. 88

    krillcoposted 10 years ago

    Perhaps it's not his message, but your reactive interpretation.

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29. 68

    Kemet Musiqposted 10 years ago

    Look up interpersonal communication. A lot of time it is a "lost in translation" situation. Guys never send mixed messages. Sometimes we change our minds, sometimes we lose confidence, but we never purposely try to confuse you, unless we have issues and in that case there probably not worth your time. Be direct and honest with us, don't be afraid of the truth. If we seem like were being inconsistent just ask us what's going on. Let us know we can tell you what's on our minds. Many times we are just as afraid of rejection as women are. Men are very emotional, more emotional than women in many ways. We have way bigger egos and way bigger mountains to fall off of when rejected. And sometimes we have fleeting hearts. Love can change in a heartbeat. Break away from the confusion by being direct. Also we hate upsetting you so we will conceal even the smallest things to avoid hurting you. Yea it doesn't make a lot of sense but neither does love right?

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    TREVOR ASHERposted 10 years ago

    We're practicing so we can become as good at it as you are.

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       violetheavenposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       tease

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31. 0

    ahorsebackposted 10 years ago

    Oh stop it ! Isn't it woman who's the mixed messenger here ! LOL

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       violetheavenposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       mix messages can be done by male or female.  The only way to conquer this is to ask clear concise direct questions.

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    SatendraSainiposted 10 years ago

    As I think its not true for all causes Those people become frustrated and leave to talk. Some of them may be because of money and  time leave talking. While some are spetial causes these people starts disliking that individuals and quit talking.

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    Katya Drakeposted 10 years ago

    He may just not be that into you. If a guy is interested, he will continue talking to you. Even if he is shy, he will find something to say. I recently dated someone who was painfully shy. He still talked to me for 3 hours a day on the phone (it was a long distance relationship).
    
    I suggest you read "Hes Just Not That Into You". I learned so much from that book. The main one being that there are no mixed messages. If a guy likes you he will find a way to be with you (unless you reject him). If he doesn't like you, he won't. Its so simple!

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    sassypieholeposted 10 years ago

    Most men swim in a shallow pool... Don't get stuck in the deep end, that's where you'll find all the ladies. ;-)

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       junksellerposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Sexism is funny.

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       sassypieholeposted 10 years agoin reply to this

       Ha! Only if you stay away from sharks!

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    Rahul Shashikantposted 10 years ago

    Because they are always exploring various possibilities and are unsure themselves

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    isaacnunoofioposted 10 years ago

    it is because sometimes we don't really know what we want.He may be feeling inadequate, thinking that he does not measure up to you. Take the initiative. Call him.

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    Obeey Gqenii Bearposted 10 years ago

    Cuz They Like You And More Personally Things About You

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    aeraaf patelposted 10 years ago

    Are you sure the guy likes you? If yes than the GUY is SHY.

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    webinspirationposted 10 years ago

    As per my personal experience, mainly every guys want to start flirt to talk with an unknown girl, but if girl's reply him with the sense they confuse and leave the talk without any proper reason.

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    JesseHposted 10 years ago

    A lot of guys who are involved in PUA use this tactic to draw your interest. They want to seem mysterious.

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    Bassem Girgisposted 9 years ago

    In the simplest words possible, human beings seek 3 things.
    1. Attention
    2. Approval
    3. Love
    
    Whether you give them one, or all three, they will always be around in a way.
    Some people just want to make sure they can get the attention when they want to, which would explain the action you're talking about.
    
    Best wishes,
    Bassem Girgis
    www.selfpromise.com

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    edhanposted 9 years ago

    I prefer to be direct. Some guys like to hint but it can have mixed signals to the girls. For a girl, when you get the message or hint, be direct and ask. At least you will be doing yourself a favor to know the truth rather than just guessing that he might be what you are thinking.

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    Raul Canedaposted 9 years ago

    maybe that guys send you  a mixed message does she strongly  likes you that is why he confused to send a better message.

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    Lowdown0posted 9 years ago

    I think you need to focus on finding a man to marry and not just a man to have sex with, this will solve most of the mixed signal problems. If you are talking to man at a bar or some party scene, then get ready to meet a flake who will use you and then move on.
    
    If you want to find a man who will marry you, be truthful to you, then marry a man who loves Jesus.

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    imran-1234posted 9 years ago

    hi,
      As far as I think guys always want to be fun with girls and have a opposite sex attraction so the guys do so.

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    lostohanababyposted 9 years ago

    Be cautious on a first date with someone new.  Pay attention to the conversation between you and him.  Think in your mind of what he is saying, how he is saying,  if he is focusing on you with all attention.  Is there lack of 'eye' contact.  Is he busy with texting or playing games on his ipad, or whatever.   Does he really like you?  Maybe he's undecided on whether he wants a relationship with you.  Maybe he is shy, and don't want to let you know right away, how much he likes you.  Maybe he is wondering what kind of a girl you, 'easy' or 'hard to get'.  Do a little homework on 'dating' and learn a little more about how guys of today, think.   Take precaution to protect yourself.  Always let someone at home know where you are and who you are with, in case, something happens to you.  Meanwhile, enjoy the moment, get to know him and share the good experiences first, but don't talk too much about problems, that turns guys away.  Go to nice places, let him respect you.  If he likes you he will make your first few dates interesting to impress you.

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    Mother Birdposted 9 years ago

    Men are a special species and they want what they can't have. Simply put, if he initiates a conversation but can't keep it going, there's no way to make a relationship out of it and he's letting you know he's not interested in the conversation but only of what comes next. I'm all for being friendly and open and having conversations with new people, but I don't think we should have to waste our time with the men who can't hold an adult conversation, just because he's interested in something else. I'm thinking you want this cat to like you..let him come to you honey. Flip the tables, YOU initiate the conversation and see if he can hold up the other end. Is he mature enough for a woman like you? Separate the men from the boys ladies

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    swilliamsposted 9 years ago

    Many women are hopeless romantics, and we desire to see the best in a possible future mate. That's why Disney movies do so well because such dreams really do come true for every Princess, yet in reality women need to learn how to read between the lines. When it comes to men I find the best thing to do is to allow men to fully speak and express their feelings through action. Talk is cheap, actions speak louder than words. You have to go old school.

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    Fathima Khanposted 9 years ago

    whit a guy always be direct to the question.they like straight answers.its we that dont understand them at time.

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    Oztinatoposted 9 years ago

    Guys often (but not always) send mixed messages as their egos, although way too big, are still delicate (a bit like another part of men's anatomy!).
    Therefore they may appear confident but are "fishing"for signals from the female to see what their chances are.

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