I'm not sure what you are asking. If you want to know how to have a better relationship then you need to be a better friend, spouse, sister or brother, mother or father. There is a saying that I live by: I can be right or I can do what works to have a successful relationship. This means being respectful and considerate of the other person's needs and feelings. It doesn't mean that I'm a door mat. It means that I choose to have people around me that support having a healthy relationship. If someone is abusive, then they are no longer part of my life. Hope that gives you some help.