The emotions you describe are what I would consider normal responses to the events in your story.
I would forget about the neighbor right now because you have much bigger problems and it's not a situation of his making.
Your inability to convince your wife not to alter her body to look better speaks volumes about your current relationship.
You have failed to make her feel that she is perfect and therefore she needs to feel appreciated by others.
Go ahead and place most of that hurt and anger upon yourself, you deserve it. Now you can continue looking for others to blame and watch your marriage go down the toilet or you can try to fix it.
Go have a beer with the neighbor and ask him to forgive your wife's little outburst.
Then get to work on fixing YOUR problems, and get help (right away) if you are unable to understand your own shortcomings and how to make your wife feel special without needing the spreciation of others.