a relationship should be based on, honesty, communication and trust.. & integrity!
if there are a multitude of secrets then....
neither are contributing any integrity in your relationship..
there's no honesty among you by keeping things secret...
there's not enough communication to air the secrets that are being held against the other..
there's obviously no trust to enable each other to share a secret openly and feel the love & trust from the other..
If you truely love each other, you'll find that level of trust and still be yourself, it's not about losing ones identity to be themselves, it's about mutual consent to be honest and loving without the demanding.
A relationship is a two way street, it must consist of many elements if it is to thrive, it must be based mainly on trust, because trust is not given or taken, it is earned through your own integrity!
so.. sorry to say, unless ya get rid of the secrets.. build the trust, by comunicating and being honest with each other you're doomed. completely on all levels.
True love needs no secrets, it is open, honest and communicates feelings of security with no bounds.