dashingscorpio profile image 85

Is sexual incompatibility a valid reason for ending a marriage?


Assuming everything else in the marriage is going fine and the kids are happy.I’m incline to believe most people would opt to cheat rather than go through the divorce process if there has been no change after communicating their needs to their spouse. I’ve never heard of a couple getting divorced because there was no sex or no oral sex..etc Would you end a marriage over the lack of sex? or quality?

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Best Answer leann2800 says

5 years ago
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  • richardbrown81 profile image

    Richard Brown (richardbrown81) 3 years ago

    really!!! how long, is it a few ruff years? you are willing to damage your kids for life becuase your not getting any. Wow hope they get the kids.


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Jaynie2000 profile image83

Jaynie2000 says

6 years ago
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  • StandingJaguar profile image

    Amy (StandingJaguar) 2 years ago

    You make a good point. Most people assume that divorce is always ugly, but I've known some couples who divorced & then remained friends. Marriage didn't give them what they needed, but they didn't hate each other. They were better off friends!


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Austinstar profile image76

Austinstar says

6 years ago
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  • panther7 3 years ago

    i'm married to a Scorpio who admits he has always been the way he is, which is part of the reason why he's on his third wife. it's been 20 solid year without an orgasm for me. is divorce an option for me? yes.


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Relationshipc profile image88

Kari (Relationshipc) says

5 years ago
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  • Moanikeala Tyler profile image

    Angelique Anela Moanike'ala Waiwaiole-Tyler (Moanikeala Tyler) 2 years ago

    I completely agree!! I believe sex and intimacy is one of 3 vital ingredients to a happy and healthy marriage , the other two being LOVE and faithfulness. Intimacy and sex strengthens the bond keeping love and communication open and flowing.


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swapna123 profile image78

swapna123 says

6 years ago
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Jenn (jennshealthstore) says

4 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 4 years ago

    jennshealthstore, Thank you for your answer. I personally know of a couple who got married without having sex with one another. The woman had no idea that her man had next to NO interest in sex. She thought his "waiting" idea was refreshing.

wychic profile image80

Rebecca Mikulin (wychic) says

6 years ago
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  • MarkwellD 2 years ago

    Disagree your points. If your husband or wife Deny your sexual need for more than 45 days or even not not showing interest for having sex or not satisfying your sexual need then its valid point for a divorce.

vgf1968 profile image61

vgf1968 says

6 years ago
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Li Galo says

2 years ago
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Faceless39 profile image92

Faceless39 says

17 months ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 17 months ago

    Excellent points! The underlying reason why many are willing to "forsake all others" is their belief that they have someone committed to being there for them physically and emotionally. The absence of either one has often led to infidelity.

Angel709 profile image60

Angel709 says

6 years ago
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  • realtalk247 profile image

    realtalk247 17 months ago

    Who's not in the mood for sex? It is a pleasurable act right? I'm just saying................

    Good points Angel709


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esatchel profile image90

PDGreenwell (esatchel) says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    I believe this is one of the reasons why a lot of people choose to (cheat) rather than file for divorce. The cheater's goal is to hold onto all that is "good" in their primary relationship while addressing their other "needs" on the side.

dashingscorpio profile image85

dashingscorpio says

6 years ago
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Amy (StandingJaguar) says

2 years ago
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  • Eric Grimaldi profile image

    Eric Grimaldi 9 months ago

    Thank you for sharing, I believe that there are alternatives to divorce when we 've been married for a while (13 years) and are both loving each other, but sex life is gone and trying to open the partner to another way might seem hard but worth it.

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Pamela N Red says

3 years ago
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DSmizzle says

2 years ago
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Keith Phillips says

6 years ago
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dutch84 says

6 years ago
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jeugenejohn says

3 years ago
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Glenda Motsavage says

2 years ago
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manatita44 says

2 years ago
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Lynda Pringle (lyndapringle) says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    lyndapringle, Thanks for answering. Quite a few people have said they would NOT end their marriage due to sexual incompatibility. However when asked if they'd rather their (mate) leave them or cheat on them due to this issue they choose (leave)!

bradmasterOCcal profile image83

bradmasterOCcal says

17 months ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 17 months ago

    Acceptable is determined one's own individual core of beliefs. There is no "right" or "wrong". Only you know what is acceptable or justifiable in your life. My question had to do with whether or not (you) consider it to be a "valid reason".

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yssubramanyam says

4 years ago
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  • yssubramanyam profile image

    yssubramanyam 4 years ago

    sex with out love, love with out sex is incomplete.

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Richard Brown (richardbrown81) says

3 years ago
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Melinda Longoria, MSM (Melinda Longoria) says

3 years ago
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Deepthi Mohana Kurup (Deepsdmk) says

2 years ago
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Unanimous (DeepThought258238) says

2 years ago
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  • johnnyge22 2 years ago

    What sort of shit are you taking about bringing god int it. Religion as suppressed peoples sexual desires over many countries for many centuries and your quoting a book that was written over 2000 years ago and as no relevance in todays society.

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Oztinato says

2 years ago
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monarae says

6 years ago
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Guy Foxe says

4 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 4 years ago

    "If you can't find what you need in a relationship then you should find a way out." I loved that quote! I agree with you regarding the sex issues. It's usually a lack of intimacy outside of the bedroom that effects what happens in the bedroom!

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Devika Primić (DDE) says

3 years ago
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ocfireflies profile image79

ocfireflies says

2 years ago
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Danielle Ortiz profile image60

Danielle Ortiz says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    Danielle, In all honesty I believe people who decide to stay and (cheat) believe sexual incompatibility isn't enough of a reason to file for divorce. Naturally however if they get caught it could lead to that! :)

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Globetrekkermel says

4 years ago
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mimistars99 says

2 years ago
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James Vicmudo profile image79

Arvin James Vicmudo (James Vicmudo) says

18 months ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 18 months ago

    Communication however is a not an "ask and it shall be given proposition." In fact I would say communication is the GPS for relationships to let a couple know if they're "growing together" or "growing apart".


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60

rsvp0700 says

5 years ago
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  • prankish83 3 years ago

    I disagree. If god intended our sexual behaviour to be any different, then his supposed creation would have been so, simple logic.

    Sexual incompatibility is real, and I believe that's why a lot of test driving is required prior to marriage.

Im Your Hazel profile image60

Melissa Mills (Im Your Hazel) says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    I believe people get married believing a person is going to continue to be who they presented themselves as being. If someone behaves one way to "win you over" and afterwards they reveal their "authentic self" you shouldn't feel obligated to stay.


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m abdullah javed profile image75

muhammad abdullah javed (m abdullah javed) says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    m abdullah, Thanks for your answer. The premise of the question deals with both people (accepting) the fact they're sexually incompatible. One person has a higher libido then the other who has a low one or has (very little interest) in sex.


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Gaurav Oberoi profile image84

gaurav oberoi says

16 months ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 16 months ago

    Being in a "sexless marriage" is not an (excuse) for having extramarital relationships. I believe those who do cheat under that scenario do so because they feel having no sex is not a reason to file for a divorce..

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Unknown Ink says

2 years ago
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Josh Makaveli profile image63

Josh Makaveli says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    Josh Makaveli, Thanks for your answer. Unfortunately a lot of folks site sexual incompatibility for the reason why they cheated. Given a choice between having a spouse leave or cheat most would rather their mate leave. Assuming nothing changes.

ReneeDC1979 profile image78

Renee' D. Campbell (ReneeDC1979) says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    Unfortunately it is one of the top reasons people give for (cheating) on their mates/spouses. Sometimes it's about quality and other times it's about the lack of interest or change in libido in one of them. Divorce is more honorable than cheating.

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Christopher Dela Cruz (Chris Dela Cruz) says

2 years ago
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Robin Gaither (Ralargait) says

23 months ago
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Payal N Naik profile image81

Payal N Naik says

18 months ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 18 months ago

    No one gets married for the sake of having sex.

    However one believes they can "forsake all others" because they have someone committed to fulfilling those needs. Given a choice between your mate leaving or cheating on you which would you prefer?


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Cindy Crispin (cintakesteeth1) says

3 years ago
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PhoebeC1 says

2 years ago
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poeticmc profile image78

Maryanne D Brown Campbell Johnson (poeticmc) says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    poeticmc, This was a hypothetical question. Most people have said bad sex is (not enough of a reason) to divorce. However when asked if they prefer their mate to leave them or cheat on them most say they'd rather he/she left! Many who stay, cheat.

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Sandeep Rathore (sandeep15r) says

22 months ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 22 months ago

    Very true!

    However everyone has their own "must haves" in a relationship for (them) to be happy.

    Ideally both individuals (agree on what is important) to them and (want) the same things. Whenever someone is unhappy potential problems arise.

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Lisa Brown (lisasuniquevoice) says

18 months ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 18 months ago

    Lisa,

    I agree with you. Sex is a bonding agent in most long-term relationships. It's hard to be truly happy if one (desires sex) but is not having it in their relationship/marriage.

    And yet our society insists upon downplaying it's importance.

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CJ Sledgehammer says

4 years ago
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Christopher Bruce profile image60

Christopher Bruce says

2 years ago
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anismide says

2 years ago
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realtalk247 profile image68

realtalk247 says

21 months ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 21 months ago

    There's a variety of reasons for incompatibility. Maybe one person was never into sex to begin with! They just wanted to be married and did it. They supplanted marriage for parenthood, menopause or low T can cause lack of interest in one of them.

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lostohanababy says

2 years ago
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60

denierka says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    It's possible to truly love someone and yet be unhappy with aspects of your relationship/marriage. Since we're responsible for our own happiness sometimes you have to make a tough call. If it can't be fixed it's better to walk away than to cheat.


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George Timothy says

2 years ago
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Mulungi profile image61

MULUNGI MICHAEL BRIAN (Mulungi) says

3 years ago
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HowImfeelingnow says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    HowImfeelingnow, I would venture to guess you are among a minority of women. Very few women who lack a desire for sex are okay with their mate getting it someplace else. Usually they don't want to have it and they don't want him stepping out!

Aileen Tanchico profile image61

Aileen Tanchico says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    Aileen, Over 90% of people are in agreement with you. However when I ask; "Would you rather your spouse cheat on you or leave you?" Most people say they'd prefer their spouse to leave! Essentially it's the same question from another point of view.

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Nichol marie (chuckandus6) says

21 months ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 21 months ago

    Most people say the same thing. This belief also explains why people choose to cheat as oppose to running down to the courthouse to file for divorce. If the issue based around sex they don't think divorce is the answer.


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Borsia profile image59

Borsia says

3 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 3 years ago

    I agree 100%. Time is the most precious commodity on earth!

    If someone (chooses) to stay in an "unhappy relationship" then they are (choosing) to be unhappy.

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dutchman1951 says

3 years ago
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Ana Maria Orantes (erorantes) says

2 years ago
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IJR112 says

2 years ago
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Christine (Christine Ballano) says

2 years ago
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Southerncali girl says

2 years ago
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Sarah LaFleur (lafleurdeplume) says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    Most people say sexual incompatibility isn't a good reason to end a marriage. However if asked if they'd rather their mate leave them or cheat most would say (leave)! The neglected person must decide. Cheaters don't want a divorce. They stay until

59

samer ali naiem says

2 years ago
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60

jimadams123 says

3 years ago
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  • Sunardi profile image

    Sunardi 2 years ago

    I heard many Japanese family live together without sex after the first kid. I head from ex-husband of Japanese wife

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Tammy P. Richardson (goodwife) says

2 years ago
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kimberlyfriend says

2 years ago
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Patrick Dunning profile image60

Patrick Dunning says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    Patrick, I think it's common for (some people) to bend over backwards to please one another during the infatuation/courtship phase. Once they get married they "relax" or show their "authentic selves". After they're married they put in less effort.

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Sai Chaitanya (chaitanyasaivb) says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    Under these circumstances rarely is it both people wanting out. The person with low libido or not putting in the effort to please their spouse is "content" with the way things are. The unhappy person is the one who decides to leave or stay & chea


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Author Sam profile image43

Samuel Ihegbu (Author Sam) says

21 months ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 21 months ago

    You said: "Couples who remember that God recognizes marriage vow, will not dare end their marriage irrespective of the situation." However marriage is not a "prison" and people want "happily ever after". Most people have (their) "deal breakers".

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MartiniaS says

20 months ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 20 months ago

    Odds are if someone has a low libido they aren't likely to initiate or put much effort into pleasing their partner or maintaining a healthy sex life. I agree those who are still "in love" will desire to please their spouse. Unhappy people leave.

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Kami Misch (Kameron Mattis) says

2 years ago
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edhan says

2 years ago
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RJ Palano (palanorj) says

18 months ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 18 months ago

    RJ, You make a valid point. If one person has no interest in having sex but still loves their mate they should be open to an arrangement where their mate can discretely have their needs addressed. A not with me nor anyone else is a control issue!

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Hector Alejandro Cabrera Rojas (hectoralejandro) says

17 months ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 17 months ago

    "I will love you no matter what - was all and now means nothing." is part of the fairytale.

    The reality is everyone has "deal breakers"!

    Other than maybe God or a mother's love there's never been such a thing as "unconditional love".

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Selena Meyers says

16 months ago
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Sunardi says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    In the U.S. no one has to get married to have children. Most people get married because they're "in love" with their mate. The children are "offspring" of their relationship. What is best for the children is to have parents who are happy together.


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Heather Y Gilmore says

2 years ago
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Mahadeb Kar (supremeupbeat k) says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    supremeupbeat k: Life is a personal journey. As with most relationship issues this is not about right or wrong. Each individual is entitled to have their own "deal breakers". Everyone has their own "must haves" for being happy in relationships.

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nvr00 says

18 months ago
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Lenre Onarem (Sagacious Guy) says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    When I've asked people if they'd rather their mate leave them or cheat on them? Most people say they'd rather their mate leave them! It's the same question in reverse.

    Generally speaking cheaters would rather stay than to start over again.

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jasper420 says

6 years ago
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Deborah Sexton says

2 years ago
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PADMENDRA S R (padmendra) says

2 years ago
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Joshtheplumber says

21 months ago
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Dave36 says

2 years ago
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ShujinkoDegus says

2 years ago
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  • dashingscorpio profile image

    dashingscorpio 2 years ago

    If your mate were deciding on whether to stay with you and cheat or to leave you; would you still answer no? Most people would rather their mate leave them than to cheat on them! I believe that applies for most countries living in a free society.

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kknde says

3 years ago
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