I thought I was till my wife asked me to leave and I resisted till finally I realized I better leave! That was a little over two months ago. Now, I realize I was not a good husband. I am an alcoholic and my lack of inhibition when I drank led me to bate my wife when she was upset with me rather than trying to listen and soothe her, not that I have to be responsible for her behavior, but I could have responded differently had I been sober. I was passive aggressive when I felt helpless in our communication about important matters, like finances. I have been sober for several weeks now and going to both AA and Ala-Non. Dont know it might be too late to heal us. Slow learner am I.