Are You Dating a Loser?|Dating a Loser Signs
7 Signs That You Are Dating A Loser
Dating a Loser can result in months, if not years, of frustration, confusion, tears, tantrums and potentially physical or emotional damage. It can also have a long lasting effect on your future relationships. However, that when you are deeply, madly in love with someone, you become so infatuated that you cannot, or will not, acknowledge your partner’s failings.
It is not always easy to realise, lest admit to yourself, that you are dating a Loser. Your friends or family may spot the signs and try to alert you to their concerns. Nonetheless, you are oblivious to the issues they raise and dismiss their fears without so much as a second thought. The danger in doing this, is that their views are usually far more objective than yours.
The most important thing to remember is that the problem is NOT WITH YOU. Invariably, you may well discover that your partner has a history of this type of poor behaviour, has a borderline personality disorder or, worse still, is narcissistic.
Here are 7 tell-tale signs that you are dating a Loser:
1. He Tells You He Loves You Too Quickly
The Loser is usually very quick to tell you that he loves you. Typically, within weeks of dating, he will be talking about your long term future together. He may discuss moving in together, having kids or even propose marriage!
Whilst this is all very flattering, you really need to sit back and ask yourself if this behaviour is that of a normal, well adjusted individual. Yes, of course we have all heard of whirlwind romances, but these are the exception to the rule and not the norm.
So why does the Loser do this?
Why bother telling you that he loves you, if he really doesn’t mean it?
Why bother making plans if he has no intention of following them through?
In truth, what he says means very little to him. The Loser has extremely superficial emotions and falls in and out of love on a whim.
2. He Blows Hot and Cold
He loves me, he loves me not! From calling and texting you daily, you may suddenly not hear from the Loser for days or weeks on end. Just as you begin to get over him, out of the blue, he contacts you! He behaves as if nothing has happened and expects to pick up the relationship where you left off.
3. Your Friends and Family Don’t Like Him
When your nearest and dearest tell you that they don’t like the Loser in your life, you really need to view this as a red flag. They are viewing the relationship from an objective perspective. Remember, they love you and want nothing more than to see you happy. But, they see how the Loser treats you. They see what effect it has on you. They see how dating the Loser has changed you. Don’t berate them for being honest with you.
4. His Actions Don’t Match His Words
The Loser has a tendency to say one thing but to do the complete opposite. He also has a tendency to lie. Often badly. But he will never admit that he was lying, even when he is caught red handed. At best, he may admit that there was a “misunderstanding,” but he will never admit that he was lying.
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5. He Is Self Obsessed
He thinks only of himself. He talks only of himself. He expresses very little interest in your life, family, friends, work or your activities and interests. Your “job” is to make him feel good, not bore him with the minutia of your life!
6. Your Feelings Don’t Matter
The Loser lacks empathy and does not stop for one moment to consider how his actions will affect you. His inability to accept criticism also means that he is never wrong. Consequently, any attempt by you to challenge his wrong doing will simply result in feelings of anger or self pity.
7. He Asks To Borrow Money
At the beginning of your relationship, the Loser usually insists on paying for everything. But do not be fooled. This is simply a ruse to deceive you into believing that he is financially secure.
Slowly, but surely, he will then begin to milk you for all you are worth. He may explain that he has “cash flow” problems and begin by borrowing small amounts of money. He may even repay you back initially. A small token gesture which is only intended to further increase your confidence in him and make you lend him even greater sums of money. The Loser will view you as his personal ATM and even develop a sense of entitlement to YOUR MONEY!
Whatever you do, NEVER EVER lend the Loser any money and most definitely do not borrow money or co-sign a loan for him.
Don’t believe me? Just set aside a few hours to watch "Judge Judy." You really do not need financial ruin on top of heartbreak!
Getting Rid Of The Loser In Your Life
Ultimately, you will discover that the trouble with dating a loser is that they are not always that easy to get rid of. As soon as you start pulling away, in an attempt to end the relationship, they usually pursue you with renewed vigour. Whilst this may generate feelings in your head that you may have made a mistake, please remember that this is not necessarily a sign that you were wrong. Just ensure that you see him for the person he actually is. Not the person you want him to be.
If you are having problems dumping the Loser in your life then you should try implementing the No Contact Rule.
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Please note that this hub is not intended for use as a source of professional, psychological or medical advice but is provided solely for informational purposes.
Readers are advised to seek the services of competent professionals in these fields.
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