Sometimes, a good relationship can be ruined by mistrusting your girlfriend.

But there are always suspicions... How do you find out if your girlfriend is honest without putting your relationship at stake?

ADVISORY: The below are opinions based on personal experience from those who have experienced cheating on all ends. This is not a scientific method or anything sure-fire. Because this is relationship advice, it is infinitely complex, and requires serious finesse and strength of character.


  1. Observe. What led you to believe she may cheat. Is it her new "Friend"? Is she spending less time with you? Sharing less with you? Is she talking to or spending more time than usual with other men? has she made any new single friends
  2. Many women have no problems addressing concerns of infidelity as long as they are not accusations. If she becomes defensive or tries to turn the tables on you about your need to talk (i.e. making you feel horrible for asking) then it may be her guilt that is not allowing her to be honest with you about whats going on. This can often lead to a stalemate between lovers and cause havoc on even the tightest relationships.
  3. Tell her you love her. Does she say it back? Hold her hand. Does she try to pull it away? Does she look nervous? These are signs that she MIGHT be thinking of cheating. However, some girls are shy and if the relationship is new she may be uncomfortable with some things. Although, if it is new, she probably wouldn't be cheating, would she?
  4. Many women in this day and age have confused sexualities because of shifting standards. Your girlfriend might be thinking of cheating on you if she is wanting to experiment either with kinks or other genders. DO NOT confront her about this. Instead try looking for things in her web-browser history: Google searches, Wikipedia pages visited, maybe even porno sites. If you find anything like bondage, anal, or bisexualism, try bringing it up as if it were your fantasy. More than likely if she can find it at home, she won't go looking for it elsewhere.
  5. Remember that the reason cheating is painful is not because of the act but for all the reasons it took place. Do not focus on the cheating act - try and repair or confront any relationship troubles. Either your relationship will end or it will be better than before, and either way the majority of the time she will confess to cheating or to considering it.
  6. Ask her friends (not "IS she having an affair" ) but about her regular activities.Then you will be able to get some tips. Unfortunately, you are usually the last to know that she's thinking of cheating. Look for changes in her friends behavior. Are they hanging out with you less as a couple? Most people unconsciously act differently towards those they know are being deceived. Although they may sympathize with your situation, they are unlikely to rat out a friend.
  7. Ask her about her opinion on a specific guy. If she hesitates to answer or becomes defensive or inconsistent then chances are you might want to have a closer look at that specific relationship.
  8. Like the old saying goes, "Once a cheater, always a cheater". Has she snuck around other boyfriends in the past? If so then she is 2.5 times more likely to cheat then those who have never before. Tread carefully with these women.
  9. 9In the end, follow your gut instinct. Sometime you just know things without having to second-guess yourself. No amount of crying and denial can rival the feelings you have in the pit of your stomach. After you've taken all the evidence into consideration, it's time to follow your gut. If she's thinking of cheating or has a wandering eye, chances are she thinks she can do better. If so, then maybe you can too.
  10. If you find out she's cheating, discuss it with her. If she cheated out of ignorance or sexual confusion and genuinely regrets it, you should consider forgiving her. If she doesn't seem to care, dump her and find someone who appreciates you.

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