choice of marriage partner:look before you leap

How To Choose A Marriage Partner

“Choices made wrongly is disastrous, correct choices you make leads you to profiting”

Do not leave your choice of marriage partner to your parent, relations, friends or anyone for that matter, because you will be the one to live together with your choice forever.


It means to select or decide on a particular thing, situation or direction from an array of varieties.

That means you select from two or three things placed before you; it could be a choice of job, where to live, friends, etc.

But in this wise we are restricting ourselves to the choice of marriage partner.

The choice of marriage partner you make today, will speak for your marriage tomorrow.

The choice of marriage partner you make today will paint the picture of the type of marriage you will have tomorrow.

The choice you make will determine where you arrive tomorrow; whether into marital bitterness or bliss. You choice will determine that.

The Bible says concerning choice:

“But if you don’t want to worship the LORD then choose here and now… Joshua 24:15 (CEV)

The above scripture implies that we are created with the right to make our choice. That is why you choose the school you attend, the dress to wear, what to eat and of course, the God to worship.

Choices are very powerful and should not be rushed into; because you will live with whatever choice you make for the rest of your life whether good or otherwise.

A good example of a right choice, a godly choice is found in the story of Ruth, a Moabites she made the right choice when she decided to team up with her mother-in-law, Naomi and the God of Israel (Ruth 1:10-18).

The result?

A place in the genealogy of our Lord Jesus Christ (Matt 1:5)

As you plan to marry in the future or may be a couple of months from now please examine carefully and prayerfully your choice of marriage partner.

The world at large is fed up with broken marriages. Divorce has become the norm now in our society. I pray the choice you make will not result into broken marriage or divorce.

By the way, God is out rightly against divorce, hence, it is not an option after you must have married.

Just like Ruth, my dear brother or sister reading this book, you can choose first and foremost to team up with God Almighty for wisdom to make the right choice. God says in His Word.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to Him.”

James 1:5 (NKJV)

The contemporary English Version renders the above scripture this way…

“If any of you need wisdom, you should ask God, and it will be given to you. God is generous…”

The above scripture is good news to every child of God and that includes you! Just because you are a graduate, does not make you wise to handle the complexities of life.

Oh! You are a master degree holder, great, oh! You are having a good and well paid job with a lot of perks –congratulations.

But there are many that possess more than these and their lives are in shambles already.

Dear brother and sister, you seriously need the wisdom that God gives to make right choice of marriage partner.

Additional key to making the right choice of marriage partner is found in the Word of God, and it says.

“With all your heart you must trust the LORD and not your own judgments. Always let Him lead you, and He will clear the road for you to follow. Don’t ever think you are wise enough but respect the LORD…” Prov3:5-7(CEV)

This brings us to the differences between courtship and dating...

A lot of singles have mistaken dating for courtship. The two are wide apart.

Courtship is a Biblical modelfor the relationship between a man and woman that leads to marriage.

Everything done by both (man and woman) is within the context of the fear of God.

Courtship spans from the day a man makes his intention known to a woman and the woman accept such proposal until they eventually marry.

Datingon the other hand put romance and sex before commitment or marriage consideration. Dating happens a lot of times and more often than not ends up in abortion of unwanted pregnancy, bitterness, heartbreak, financial loss, suicide, fitting and so on.

The following case studies that I have decided to included in this free report will give you a general pattern most men and women follow in the name of loving the opposite sex. Yours is to read and consider your own life.


When I met my husband shortly after leaving the university, I thought I had stuck gold. He had his own house, ran a thriving business and showed me a lot of love and affection. When I got pregnant, he insisted we get married and we had lavish wedding. He’s been a good father to the two children of the marriage.

In the last few years, I’ve been regaled with stories having oral sex with some. He came home with funny smells on his person and the last strand was when a niece who came to stay during an examination complained he forced her to have sex with him.

In the end I quietly left and now am living in a flat with my kids. He’s still generous father but I kick myself for getting married to such a sex maniac. Why hadn’t I seen the signs before I married him?

COMMENTS: I feel for this woman she could be my sister. A lot of women are experiencing such disappointment why because the foundations of such marriages were faulty she could not see the true character of this man because only God can reveal the heart of men. Unfortunately for her God was not in the picture right from the onset.

The Bible says

“There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death” proverbs 14:12 (NLT)

“it ends in death .” Death of such marriages, self esteem and many more.

Every man or woman is responsible for whatever choice they make as regards every area of their life, but for things to work, the fellows must follow the Divine Blueprint for choosing a marriage partner based on the infallible word of God.


I lived with my partner for almost a year before he showed his dark side. He was a gentleman when we first started dating that was why I move in with him. Then he began pushing me about whenever we had an argument. I warned him that if he did it again, we’d be over. But the next time he held me by the throat and threw things at me, so I left.

Now he’s begging me to come back, promising to change. I love him I’m scared of him now. My friends think I should give him a second chance. What do you think?

COMMENTS: once again we see this scenario repeating itself going by what we earlier examined in case study I. A woman that’s going to get married to a man who proposed love to her should not live with him under the same roof until they are legally married. Like I wrote earlier dating putts romance and sex before commitment or marriage consideration. Dating leads to heartbreak, unwanted pregnancy and sometimes suicide. A lot of us want to eat our cakes and have it, it is not possible.

Man (woman) is a complex being, nobody can change any man; only God can do such depicted in proverbs 21:1 which says the king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, like the river of water, he turns it where ever he wishes (NLT). In essence only God can change the life of people hence God must be involved in your life before you even go ahead to choose a marriage partner. The lady that wrote in cases study two: going back to the man is not the solution but making God her number one in her life. It is only then every other thing in her life will take shape.

Having read the above case studies, what is your conclusion as regards how you should handle your choice of marriage partner?

You see my friend; you can save yourself a lot of headache, regret and grief if you critically consider your choice of marriage partner.

To do that God must be involved in your life in order for Him to guide you on whom to choose as your marriage partner.

God says “Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest”. Matt28:11 (NLT)

The life generally comes with a lot of burdens: emotional, financial, material and so on. Only Him can give you solution and rest.

I am happily married by his grace and I know how the Lord helped me in my decision making despite hordes of temptations that came my way.

I not happy seeing a lot of beautiful life suffering as a result of choosing the wrong fellow as a marriage partner.

By His grace, I have seen and hard a lot of cases as regards mistakes and error made by men and women when it comes to the issue of who to marry. We must learn from such to guard against ourselves becoming a victim.

Hence,in considering choice of marriage partner,you must look before you leap.This because as a christian it is till death do both you part.I wish all the best as you prayer choose a marriage partner.

Comments 26 comments

David 7 years ago


I didn't read the entire article, but what I did read was very interesting!

Good to hear a christian perspective of it!

aulialuqmanaziz profile image

aulialuqmanaziz 6 years ago

Whatever you do in your life will get an equal result in the end. We Moslem belief that if we do nice things a lot in our life, one day you'll get a partner that is equal to you, and the vice versa. So, let's just be careful to what we do.

Great information you have!

cynlyn 6 years ago

I love it,it's very inspirational and quite practical,I am in a very difficult situation that I find it very hard to change.hope readers lean from it.

Uwane 6 years ago

Am sooo blessed!

 6 years ago

I like this article very much. In fact, I read it as a 57 year old woman, hesitating to marry someone.

Gosper 6 years ago

That is very inspiring. I beleive it will help any other young man like me at the junction of this dicision. But i would love that you share your own experience with those of us who are reading around articles to help make the right joice

Okara Precious 6 years ago

That very inspiring,am sure it will be of great help to anybody that will go through it. How I wish our young men and women that are intending of getting marry will go through Courtship and not dating so as to reduce the high rate of divorse in the christaindom.

 6 years ago

Sounds great. I would like to know more.

Lorraine 5 years ago

Put God in the center of your life and he will guide you all the way. Been married 36 years and it's a good marriage as I prayed when I was younger to make the right decision. He will guide you if you only ask Him.

The Lord is the answer for everything in our lives we just have to ask.

WannaB Writer profile image

WannaB Writer 5 years ago from Templeton, CA

This complements a hub I will be publishing soon. I don't think anyone really knows what it means to be married until after the marriage itself begins. Knowing that your marriage is blessed by God is very important when you start trying to live out the vows you have made. The world would have us to believe that the reason to marry is so we can be happy. The truth is that our happiness comes as we fulfill God's purpose for the marriage, which is to bring glory to Him. As someone once said to me, people shouldn't get married until they see how they can serve God better together than they can separately.

Mr.Bee 4 years ago

Before i was puzzled,but now i know only God knows the best for every one.Pls help me with prayers for i'm about to make a bold move too.

aboveonly 4 years ago

mr bee,i pray the Lord guide u by His Spirit as make that crucial decision in Jesus name.amen\

OluwaSeye 4 years ago

This is a piece to learn from

MissyGift 4 years ago

This is a great one...i've been so worried to know if my fianace is the right one...i've been talking to so many persons too, to help me decide between my two closet friends on whom to marry...but now....i'm so glad to know that i can settle all these on my knees...thank you so much for writing this...i'm really blessed.

Gideon Iyke 4 years ago

I'v been blessed and empowered!

stephen E 4 years ago

Many have tried to marry without God and have become casualties,at best living as divorcees under same roof.I thank God for this timely cousel. Let him that has ears hear.

julie 4 years ago

Am blessed cos i learnt a lot!

Sojinu olawale 4 years ago

It is a nice one may the lord help us all to have a happy marriage

Sojinu olawale 4 years ago

It is a nice one may the lord help us all to have a happy marriage

gigal 3 years ago

we need Gods intervention in every thing most especially while loving such that we are not afraid when we know its God offered.

ujunwa 3 years ago

am blessed with this word, I pray that god will grant us divine partner for to make right choice.

Mothusi Monty Osenotse 3 years ago

Wow....that's so blessed, I and pray that God impart the wisdom of making right choices in every person's mind to choce right partners of our lifes..

Veracrux 2 years ago

Its indeed tru, tat dos who knee b4 God Almighty can stand anywhere else!!!!!!!!!!!! God bless you 4 dis article..... Amen

stephen 2 years ago

God wil guide us not to make mistake is cross road!

lucy ebube 19 months ago

i love dis.i cnt wait 2 see Gods blessing in my life.nd also his wisdom.

blessing 16 months ago

am inspired; no longer afraid for i got His Wisdom in me.

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    cynthia 22 months ago

    my fiancé has propose to marry me

    February 10 is the day to always remember because i cant forget, that day was the day my fiancé propose to Marry me, he has been making promises to marry me,but he fulfill his promise as he said, i have no chance than to look for a good spell caster to cast a spell on him so he can marry me, then l ment a great Dr.dodogods asked me to fast for a week, i carried out his in instruction as he told me, the next week, my fiancé came to me, knelt down on his knees , putting a ring on my finger, telling me he must marry me and no one can stop him, his action became crazy to me. i wonder what my marriage would have been without this address,

    Posted by cynthia

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