Betrayed By My Sister

If only you knew

If only you knew how much you hurt me. If only you knew how much I really cared. But you have repeatedly done things to hurt me and my family. I must move on and get on with my life without you. Your not worth the fight.

It Still Hurts Like This

You Lier, You Theif Poem


You have lied, stole, and have hurt me to no end.

You wonder why I don’t want to be your friend

You lied to our mom, stole from her without any guilt.

That is why there is this wall that I built

I have given you chances to make amends

But it has always been you that never wanted to be friends

You had the chance to do right and clear the air

Instead, you took more than your share

You and your daughter make quite a pair.

I trusted you. I believed in you. Much to my dismay

Instead I was the fool one might say

I thought moms passing would have brought us close.

But all your put downs came in such a big dose.

On many occasions you could have done what was right

Instead you choose to keep up this fight.

Mom loved us both and wanted us to share in equal parts

Yet you still did everything you could to rip out my heart.

You have hurt my family and now our relationship has to end

I need to give my heart time to mend.

You lied and twisted things trying to blame it on me

With you out of my life I can be free

Not seeing you frees me from the hurt and the pain

Allowing me some happiness to gain.

Just to get the record strait

I was there when mom needed me and she never had to wait.

You were only there for your own selfish needs

And you will have to answer to God for all your greed.

I know in my heart I did what was for the best.

And I leave it for God to take care of the rest

Just maybe, maybe I can forgive you but just not yet

Moving on

Today I am going to try to move on with my life. Put the past behind me. Enjoy my family and friends that care about me. Stay away from the people that don't. Life is too short to stop living and enjoying because of hurt done by others. Sometimes it is just best to stay away even if its your own sister.

Have you ever been betrayed by a family member?

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If you were betrayed by a family member what would you do?

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Comments 17 comments

Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 5 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

I would like to link my poem to yours, oldersister.

Your story is so familiar. The feelings of disbelief so familiar. It's not even the amount that was stolen it's the BETRAYAL. And being told you and your family didn't deserve anything (excuse me, that was for your MOTHER to decide, not her). You can take legal action against her under the will (esp. being the executor). But honestly, it would be a long,difficult, expensive fight. Why bother?

You can't repair the damage she has caused in your relationship.

I also soooo relate to giving her the opportunity to make amends. People like our sisters never do. They don't see things the way we do. They are right.

Period.

My heart goes out to you.

You are not alone.

MM


oldersister profile image

oldersister 5 years ago Author

Thanks MM I know I could have taken legal action. The lawyer told me to give him a list of items and we would withold disbursements from her till she returned it.

I chose not to battle it out. As much as it killed me, I let her keep what she stole from us. I gave her, her share of the money, and I didn't take the executors fee, which I was entitled to, I felt that is not what my mom would have wanted me to do, I needed to do what I felt was right in my heart despite what she had done. I can say that I do sleep well at night and have no reason for any guilt. My only sleepless nights is the greiving of my mom and the loss of a sister who I trusted. I don't know if I can ever regain that trust in her.

You are welcome to link your poem to mine as well. I think that post like yours has helped so many people to realize that they are not alone. I know I need to talk and I needed to share my experiences with other people that have gone through the same thing. I think it helps us get through the days and move on somewhat. It has been a year since all this happened but it is still fresh as if it were yesterday. Thanks MM for all your support at a tough time.


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 5 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

Glad you can sleep well and rest easy. It takes courage to take the high road and walk away with your head high. And you've done that!

Your mom would be very proud of how you've handled yourself and just think of the example you're setting for your kids.

It's good to know that other GOOD people like you are out there, oldersister!

Sending you healing hugs (and hubs:-). MM


oldersister profile image

oldersister 5 years ago Author

Thanks MM :)


stricktlydating profile image

stricktlydating 4 years ago from Australia

Your story made me cry :(

I can only wish you a future full of happiness.


oldersister profile image

oldersister 4 years ago Author

Stricklydating, Aww thank you so much for your kind words. It seems that after all this time not much has changed other than my sister doesn't bother with me or any of the extended family members. My Aunts try to talk to her but she can't be bothered. It seems that if you can not help her out financially she wants nothing to do with you. At Christmas I sent gifts for my niece and nephew and she sent a gift card to my kids but signed it very impersonal. My kids were very hurt by it. It is a shame how money, greed and a sense of entitlement destroy relationships, I have come to the realization that it does not matter, That I need to be comfortable with what choices I make and do the right thing. I can not control what she does and someday I do believe she will have regrets for what she has done to me and my children. Until then I need to do what is right in my actions and my heart. I need to ask myself what would God want me to do and do it. Although I have to admit, Sometimes I have to talk myself out of wanting to be mean. Its not always easy. LOL


Sally 4 years ago

I am so sorry you had to go through that with your sister. Especially at such a difficult time


oldersister profile image

oldersister 4 years ago Author

Sally, I am sorry I had to go through that with my sister too. It amazes me that it even happened. You trust family and never in your wildest dreams would you think that they would deliberately try to hurt you. At first I thought it had to do with us grieving but as time passed it I realized it was just her being greedy.


oldersister profile image

oldersister 4 years ago Author

Well latest update. This last Christmas my sisters family did not go to my Aunt house. So I stopped by her home to drop off Christmas gifts for her kids. My neice now in her mid 20's refused to answer the door so I could give her their gifts. So there I left them on the door step. I texted her telling them that they were there and then she opened the door grabbed them and went back in the house. Since then, I have accepted that there is no hope left for any relationship with my sister or her family. I really didn't want the children to be caught in the middle but they are. My sister has isolated herself and her family from not only my family but from my extended family as well. They invite her to everything and she says she is coming but then cancels last minute. I have to say that it has been a big relief that she has not come, because now there is no drama. But I do feel bad for the rest of the family that she is doing that to them. And I feel bad that her 5 year old will know none of his family, because of her choices. It has been very pleasant at family gatherings without all the drama and my life has been much more calming without her in the picture. I know my mom in Heaven is not happy about all this, but I hope that she now sees what baby sister has done and that it has always been her causing all the drama in the family.


Surviving 3 years ago

I too have a greedy older sister. Just the day my Mom passed she had her three kids clean the house out and took all but a lamp and my cross stitch I made for my Mom. She recently came over 8-2012 and she has stolen from me in the past, but I keep hoping she has changed, all my friends say do not let her in, but I did one last time, and she took my brand new opal inlaid earrings, a lot of 7 USA nightshirts, a pair of black storklette scissors, a house magnet w/two trees for needlework, a grabber tool. My autographed nightshirt from Richard Marx. When she left she said "now you know I am not stealing anything from you!" I should have checked her huge carry bag she always has with her, but my mind does not go there even after all the years of her thievery from me. I even took care of her first born daughter for the first year of her life, and numberous babysitting for free for years, and this i s how she repays me. My Brother stole my first china set I ever bought. It seems like my family just feels if they want they take it. And how do you turn in your own family to the cops? I did however make a report, but it is going nowhere, and am out everything, and she has it all, and knows she will never have to worry, because the cops just can't do anything. I have been able to put up with her theft for over 35 years, but this last one really bothered me, and has made me exstremely depressed, and I just am having a hard time going on. I am barely surving. Please pray for me.


oldersister profile image

oldersister 3 years ago Author

Surviving, I how how difficult it is to have to deal with family members betraying you. It is not so much the things that they take but hurt you feel from them stealing from you. I will pray for you. I do know how difficult it is to deal with and I am here if you need to talk


waterlily13 profile image

waterlily13 2 years ago from Somewhere

A little late, but "It seems that after all this time not much has changed other than my sister doesn't bother with me or any of the extended family members."

Honestly, I think you're a bit lucky, especially since things have clearly gotten better without her around. Doesn't that kind of tell you something.

My own "experience", which means what I've been told by others, mostly involves "conqueror" types(it's more about power than money/stuff, they don't leave you unless you're REALLY lucky, and they rob you of more than just money and things). IOW, the ones that stick around and not "pillager" types(your sister).

Anyway, hope things have gotten better for everyone here.


oldersister profile image

oldersister 2 years ago Author

I think they feel bad not including her so they do. Especially my aunt who promised my mom that she would be there for us girls. The last gathering we went to , my aunt sat and talked to her all night and my cousins hung out with my family. She came over to my cousins said hello and had to walk around my kids to say hello to my cousins. She said to my girls oh its good to see you , you girls look so beautiful in front of everyone. I had to catch my self from saying anything. We live 5 minutes from each other and you come to a family gathering and act like you are happy to see them. If she wanted to be a part of their lives or mine she could apologize and do the right thing, but she never will , it is only for the show, and believe me she puts on a good one. She plays the martyr, some will fall for it some wont. But I get through it and still go to family functions, I love being around my aunts and cousins and I would never not go just because she might be there, although my stomach is In knots knowing she is coming. But we plow on and try to do the right thing , or the best thing that we emotional can do.


oldersister profile image

oldersister 2 years ago Author

Waterlily, what I have found with my sister is she does not want you around unless she needs something, she can not get anything from me, there is nothing to give so she has no use for me. As for the rest of my family she will try to keep them in her court till she needs them, she will make excuses why she can 't come to things and then everyone once in a while show up to maintain her welcome.


waterlily13 profile image

waterlily13 2 years ago from Somewhere

I hope the ones that aren't fooled by her can effectively hamstring her so she doesn't steal their money/possessions.

As for the ones that are, I hope they're not burned too badly, but some people have to go through it to understand why some people won't speak to people like your sister.

What she does reminds me of slot machines. Keep people hoping, so they keep going back. They only leave when they lose one too many times or lose more than they can afford.


shannon 2 years ago

My sister and i are like night and day. Shes loud, unfeeling, rude, hurtful and hateful. My middle child fathered my first grandbaby. And i am in love all over again. The bad part about it is that i do not get along with the childs mother. She keeps my son distanced from us. They've told me to back off concerning their relationship, so i did. As long as i get to see my kid, im fine. A few days ago, the babys mother and my son accused me of teaching the baby to say s**t. I went into immediate defense mode and damage control even though i knew that this wasn't true. I vented my frustrations to my sister and she ended up posting a racial slur on my eldest sons facebook page. All hell broke loose. All of my sons mexican and mexican american friends began to message him about the comments. My son didn't even know she had posted it until he went to it, seen all the backlash from what SHE said and immediately deleted the status. The babys father called my sister to confront her and of course got into a heated argument about it. I know from many past experiences that this is going to affect our ability to see our grandbaby. She has caused so much collateral damage so many times with her hurtful, negative, racial and completely insensitive comments. I told her that my husband and i agreed that if this situation(that we had nothing to do with)caused us inability to see our grandson that we will have to turn our backs on her. Im waiting for my mother to call me and tell me how right my sister was to speak her mind. If that happens, i will turn my back on her as well. As with every other incident, i will automatically be held responsible, even though we had nothing to do with it. Im crushed.


oldersister profile image

oldersister 2 years ago Author

Im a so sorry that had to happen. I guess you can't trust your sister with anything and I would watch what you say to her. As for your son and daughter in law. Your best bet is to not get involved in their relationship and offer to help when needed with your grandchild. New moms and dads want what is best for their child , You could say I don't believe I said that and if I did im sorry . I will try to be careful around the baby of what I say. Just enjoy your grandbaby whenever you can. Family is very difficult to deal with, sometimes people can be just mean , vicious and troublemakers, they enjoy the drama and sometimes people do things and they mean not harm by it. Being a MIL is definitely harder that being a mom of a daughter. A mom and daughter can argue over something and then it is forgotten. A daughter in law will get upset, thinking your trying to control them, or you don't think they are doing the right thing, and then they will fight with their hubby over it. Try not to say to much to your son and daughter about their child or their marriage. Play with your grandchild and love him . Try not to criticize or question what they do, unless of course it would hurt the baby. But do not let your sister upset or put a wedge between you and your kids

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