Sex: Do Men Really Expect it After A Date?

A Night On The Town...

Expect? Probably Not.

Hoping? Most definitely, if not that night then in the near future!

One of the primary differences between men and women is how they approach dating.

Generally speaking a man considers the possibility of having sex with a woman long before there is a date!

The minute he asks a woman for her phone number or her email address he is indicating that he is physically attracted to her.

He could care less if she’s a waitress, teacher, lawyer, doctor, or unemployed.

For most men when it comes to women it all begins with physical attraction.

She caught his eye, stimulated him, and caused him to imagine what it would be like to make love or have sex with her. Anything beyond that is icing on the cake.

This is how it has been for billions of years.

It would be very naïve for a woman to believe a man is asking her out to spend his hard earned money simply to enjoy conversation and have some laughs with her.

Most men would rather do that with their male friends.

Albeit if you asked them point blank most would deny their ulterior motive.

There is but one reason why he asked you out and not the girl sitting next to you.

He's physically/sexually attracted to YOU!

Does that make men no good? Shallow?

Not at all, it's just how God wired them to be.

Besides the fact that men are visual creatures by nature there are some real biological reasons why sex may come across their minds more often than it does to women.

His sex organs are outside and not tucked inside his body. Throughout the day the most sensitive part of his body is rubbing against his underwear, pressing against his inner thigh, or pushed up against his zipper. The sight of an attractive woman, a vivid imagination, and the juices are flowing in no time especially if he is young.

There will never be a female equivalent to Hugh Hefner, an 80 year old woman wearing dentures lounging around the house in her pajamas and robe surrounded by a group of 20 something year old Brad Pitt look a-like men waiting for their turn to jump into bed with her.

Simply put, men place a lot more value on the attractiveness of women than their financial stability.

There’s a reason why so many cosmetic companies only market to Women those creams, make up, and lotions that claim to hide stretch marks, remove crow’s feet & wrinkles, get rid of spider veins, various weight loss diets, botox injections, cosmetic surgeries and so forth…etc It’s because men generally place a lot more value on a woman’s appearance than women place on a man's appearance.

The only thing men worry about is losing their hair!LOL!

Having said that if he is successful, powerful, and rich he will have no problems attracting young beautiful women to his side.

One could argue that the woman is only with him because he has money but the truth is we are all with people because they have “something” that attracts us.

None of us wants anyone that has "nothing" going for himself. We all have our own laundry list of requirements for a mate. Ideally we all want to settle down with someone that has the full package.

A person we are attracted to, who is financially stable, shares our same values and outlook on life in most instances. The main difference in our list is our priorities. For most men the number one requirement is they have to be physically attracted to their mate.

Not many people want to date people that physically repulse them.

Having sexual desires for someone that you are physically attracted is normal. There should be no controversy about that. YES! There is much more

to a RELATIONSHIP than sexual attraction.

A man could very well feel the urge to move on once a woman opens her mouth and he learns they have nothing in common or she lights up a cigarette and he is anti-smoking....etc

It's human nature to want to be with someone attractive but by no means is that a substitute for character.

Like it or not a woman's appearance more often than not is the first gage a man uses in deciding to pursue a date. No man goes out to seek a woman that turn his stomach.

Imagine you were in the grocery store buying a can good and there were 3 cans on the shelf.

One had a big dent on the side of it, one had half the label missing, and the third one looked brand new.

Odds are the "content quality" or what's "inside" all three are the same but most of us would take the can we felt "looked the best",(the one that looked new).

Not that there is a real comparison between can goods and living human beings. The analogy was used simply to point out the "visual" aspect of choice we all utilize daily.

Hating the truth does not change the truth.

Men and Women reject each other differently.

Women reject men after being approached. (Direct)

Men reject women by NOT approaching them. (Indirect)

Both can hurt if you are interested/attracted to that particular individual.

And yes, there are "exceptions"!

Some men don't care about looks at all, some men prefer obese women, some could care less about clear skin, length of hair, missing teeth or buck teeth, hammer toes, crossed eyes, long crooked noses, cankles...etc

However my guess is even these men have their own "first" critera in deciding who is date worthy on their list as well.

There is a line for each of us which we choose not to cross.

Fortunately "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" or there would be a lot of us who would never get a date! LOL!

Knowledge Is Power!

As a woman now that you know for certain this man asked you out because he is physically attracted to you and ultimately would like to have sex with you it should not come as a shock or surprise when he makes his move.

There should be no offense taken knowing he desires you because (you knew his motives the minute he asked you out).

There are far worse things than having a man be sexually attracted to you.

One example is having NO man on earth finding you sexually attractive.

Having said that (You are not obligated to have sex with any man because he took you out!!!)

However with this newfound knowledge of his “motives” it would be best not to accept invitations from men (you cannot remotely see the possibility of you having a romantic adventure with).

1. You’d be wasting his time and money.

Both of which he should be using on a woman who is actually attracted to him.

2. You'd be wasting your time and most likely boring yourself to tears all the while preparing for how you are going to avoid his attempt at a good-night kiss or reject his seductive moves.

Accepting dates from men simply to fill up your calendar rarely leads to having a great time.

You're better off going out with men YOU are interested in and attracted to.

Dashingscorpio

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Comments 5 comments

lindagoffigan profile image

lindagoffigan 7 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Great Hub. I liked the canned good scenario. Thanks for giving me a peek in a man's point of view about women's physical attraction. Dr. Phil stated that most men when they first look at her decides whether of not he is attracted. Amazing and in only a matter of seconds he decides whether to make his move. Great supportive information.


Sweetsusieg profile image

Sweetsusieg 6 years ago from Michigan

Good insight to the mind of a man. Of course most of us women who have studied men know their ultimate goal. Those that say they don't are just deluding themselves.

Some of course are egotistical - now those are fun to play with as long as you don't let it go to far... For example I am not a small woman by any stretch of the imagination, having said that; When I go out I like to dance and I will ask any one that looks like they might be tapping their feet. Having been refused one time has taught me a lesson. One young man actually told me "You and I don't fit well, you are bigger than the girls I like." (Ok, I REALLY wasn't proposing marriage here, just a dance) So I looked him in the eye and said "That's ok, I had to pee anyway" and walked to the rest room.

When I finished my business I came out and he was waiting for me. Apparently I was supposed to take his rejection of me a little harder, and when I didn't it crushed him.

Thanks for writing!


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 6 years ago Author

Sweetsusieg thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment on my hub. I'm willing to bet most men can relate to your rejection story. I remember my nightclub days very well. Sometimes after a rejection I'd either go to bathroom or take a lap around if the club is large enough and crowded. There were times when I ended up dancing with another person while the song I had been rejected on was still playing. No just means Go to the next person. :-)


Danext profile image

Danext 2 years ago from Tanzania

Very interesting article, i couldn't put it better myself...


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 2 years ago Author

Danext, Thanks for taking the time to read my hub and post a comment.

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