Beware of Energy Vampires!
Dealing with Negativity
So it's a new year, it's a new me, and I have all sorts of visions for the future. Lately, for some reason, I find that I let negativity and negative people get to me. It used to roll off me like water off a duck's back, but now.....well, sometimes I just can't seem to shake issues that normally wouldn't bother me. It is old age? PMS? A newfound understanding of how the other side works? Whatever it may be, my big resolution for 2010 is to be more positive. Part of this resolution comes with the physical side of things (i.e. exercise, etc.), but a larger part of it comes from trying not to let these people get to me.
You may be asking by now, "Just what is an energy vampire?"
I thought that my massage teacher had created the phrase. Boy, was I wrong! Just google the phrase. You'll find at least 332,000 entries about them. So obviously this isn't just a phenomenon local to me, my location, my family or friends. Energy vampires are EVERYWHERE. What have I learned from my perusals? Well, these people have the ability to make a mountain out of a molehill, never take responsibility for their life or what unfolds from their actions, complain constantly and actually drain your positive energy by forcing their energy onto you. Let's say you're in a great mood, then you talk to your Aunt Janie for an hour. Aunt Janie complains - about her job, your job, her neighbors, your neighbors, the neighbor's dog, her dirty house, her painful foot....you get off the phone an hour later and don't want to do anything. You can barely watch TV or read a book, let alone do all those things you really need to do. BOOM! You have just been sapped by an energy vampire. So what can we do?
I found a great page listing some ways to deal with these karma suckers. On www.psychology.suite101.com, they list 11 ways to keep these guys at bay. Some may work, some may not. All are worth a try.
- Limit the amount of time you spend with energy vampires.
- Learn effective ways to end conversations with energy vampires ("I only have ten minutes to talk", "I'm on my way out the door).
- Stay calm and detached from energy vampires. I find that breathing and visualizing myself elsewhere has helped.
- Be honest about your needs; tell them you are using this time to study, read, whatever. They may not care. Tell them anyhow.
- Do not attempt to rescue them or fix the problem; there will always be more.
- Walk away when it gets too much; the more you do it, the easier it gets (or so the website says). But it will. Honestly.
- Limit your direct eye contact with energy vampires. This is how they suck you in.
- Avoid being in close spaces with people you know are energy vampires. These smaller spaces make it harder to detach.
- Your personal space is exactly that; your personal space! Guard it from these energy vampires at all costs.
- Tell energy vampires if something they are discussing makes you uncomfortable. They won't like it. Oh well.
- Stand up for yourself.
I have taken these nearly verbatim from the www.psychology.suite101.com website, but you get the point. There are also tons of other websites out there to help us in dealing with these people. Let's face it, we've all get an energy vampire in our life somewhere. It may be in our family, in our circle of friends, at work - or all of the above!
Sometimes when I go to work I will work on a person and when I leave I feel completely drained. Sometimes I don't even realize it. It will take my spouse or a friend to say, "What's wrong?". It's only then that I realize that there is nothing wrong with my life today; it's just that I have taken on someone else's life for a change. With that, I have accepted all the negativity and problems that go with it.
So, I know it's going to be very, very hard. But I owe it to myself, and the positive life that I try to live, to distance myself from these people. Hopefully, my keeping my peace will help them to overcome their issues. Silence speaks louder than many words do. Wish me luck!
Read more at Suite101: How Energy Vampires Drain Your Spirit: 11 Ways to Protect Yourself From Negative Influences http://psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/stop_energy_vampires#ixzz0cX6XmV8F
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