What would you consider cheating? Texting, phone calls, skyping, actual contact, and what kind of contact?
I don't think you can quantify "cheating" so simply, because it's initiation is more about intent and desire than action. Granted, at some point, for certain actions to take place, the intent and desire will always be there, but for other interactions that is not necessarily the case.
First let's define the point at which "cheating" is taking place. I accept Jesus explanation:
Matthew 5:27-28: "Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looks on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart."
Chances are you have known folks, (and this could be from either gender), who seem practically unable to interact with those they find attractive without a romantic desire coming across, at least as an undertone. Others, when in a committed relationship, can work well with anyone, even on a very personal level, without any lust or desire, (even for those they might have considered a "perfect match", back in their "available" days).
If you know you have weaknesses, don't put yourself in harm's way. Also be respectful of your spouse's sensibilities. Would they be jealous or concerned with your conduct? Should they be? Have you earned and do you continue to warrant their trust? If you are hiding something from them, or even if not actively doing that, are omitting details and hoping they don't find out what you've been up to...you have a problem.
By knowing yourself, knowing and respecting your spouse and being considerate of your existing relationship, you should be able to determine where the appropriate limits are in any given situation and abide by them.
I think it's all of those things. But I also know that it's a person's choice to seek out someone else...or not. If you're actively trying to find someone through any means, then you're cheating on the one you're with. But if you are, then that could mean that you're not completely happy with the one you're with. So, what do you do? I would say, sit down and have a heart to heart talk with your significant other and try to resolve the problems. If that doesn't work, then personally, I'd choose not to live in a relationship that made me unhappy, and I'd end it. THEN, I'd go looking for someone else
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by Phil Perez2 years ago
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