Men are visually stimulated and women audibly so.
Do you, as a man, feel that you could break that mold? Could you love or be drawn to a less attractive woman?
And women, are you audibly drawn or do you feel we don't fit our molds quite as commonly as men seem to fit theirs?
I've always thought there is a major difference between being initially drawn and long term desire.
Whether a beautiful woman or beautiful painting, that holds true.
Do you find it interesting that men are so visually compelled? Where do you feel that comes from?
Seems to me that both the visual and verbal are coming from millennia in the past and evolution.
Males needed great visual acuity and attention to what is seen in their hunting. Females needed more in the way of verbal interaction with the group that they spent most of their time in. Verbal activity that was mostly denied the men on the hunt even if in a group.
In my opinion the only reason to change anything is if one is unhappy with the results they are getting in life.
I believe it's human nature for (both) men and women to want to be with or own the most attractive items possible whether it be a mate, home, car, clothing, or whatever. No one wants to marry anyone they consider to be "butt ugly" or be with someone no one else in the world is attracted to.
From a male point of view it is our attraction towards a woman that causes us to want to get to know her and spend our hard earned money taking her out. After we spend time with her that is when we get to know all about her other attributes. However if we weren't attracted to her we would not have approached her to begin with, let alone open our wallets.
Men and women reject each other differently. Men use (indirect) rejection by refusing to approach women they're not attracted to and women use (direct) rejection by saying "no" to men that approach them whom they are not attracted to..
Each of us is entitled to have our own "preferences". I know women who refuse to date men who several inches shorter than them. I know guys who refuse to date women who outweigh them. Some people won't bother dating others who drink, smoke, or are of a different race, regardless of all the other things they may have going for them. It's (their) prerogative. You like what you like. Beauty/sexiness is in the eye of the beholder.
It would be interesting to see if things would be different if it were (women) who were always approaching men for dates and spending money taking them out. I suspect some men might say "yes" to being treated to dinner, a movie, or some other outing with a woman simply because she is nice and is paying. Afterwards they (might) find some attractive qualities. Generally speaking if you are the "pursuer" you are going to aim high rather than low.
Last but not least in order to perform sexually in a (long-term relationship) men need to be visually stimulated to maintain an erection. A woman has the option of using a lube. Even with a man taking Viagra he still has to mentally want to have sex in order to have an erection. The only other options is for him to imagine being with someone else or watch porn prior to having sex with her. No woman wants her man to require either. Women need to believe that (they) turn on their man in order to feel good about themselves.
Wow, you went... there. lol
I, like everyone else, have visual stimulants, but to me... and not in the long run, but in the short race, they are meaningless. If the light is on and no one's home, you might as well be a troll living under a bridge. Not so much for men. Although a man might not want to spend a lot of time with someone mentally un-stimulating, he sure doesn't mind having a different kind of relationship with her. Likewise, if I were to tell a joke and a man didn't get it... my first thought would be, 'Where's the closest exit?'
I just find it fascinating *how* lead men are simply by their eyes. I can identify, but only for a moment, but some part of me finds it to be less primal and more shallow. Who knows... ppl are interesting at the very least.
People are interesting! Very true! :-)
God most have had his reasons for (wiring) the genders (differently).
It seems like a lot of our problems start when we (refuse to accept the differences) and instead try and get each other to "change".
It's been said that men fall in love with their eyes and women fall in love with their ears. However with age comes wisdom. Men learn that all that "glitters" is not gold and women learn that "actions" speak louder than words.
It's not uncommon for people to evolve overtime with regard to their "must have list" concerning mate selection. A woman who may have never considered going out with a bald man in her youth may be open to it later in life just as a man may become open to dating women who are heavier than he would have considered in his youth. Nothing is written in stone. There are always "exceptions" to any rules we set up in our minds.
One of the amazing things about life is (we don't know) what we are going to do or where we are going to be in a year, 5 years, or 10 years from now. One phone call, discovery, action, consequence, or whatever can spin our lives in a new direction. For example no couple starts planning to be divorced on their wedding day and yet 50% of marriages end in divorce. We really don't know what the future holds for us. That can be both scary and exciting. Never say never! :-)
I think both men and women are visually stimulated, men more so than women. Women are more emotional, but we still have to be visually attracted to something to keep part of our interest. I think over time, it is easier for a women to overlook the "visual stimulation" factor because we are emotional and want that person to complijment us, make us feel good, tell us nice things about us, etc. But, there is some visual aspect on both ends.
.Beth I believe that yes I as a man , visual stimulation is very important , aren't we all but one more form of animal here on earth ?To me all of the answers to our questions lie right out there in the natural world. Watch the woods , the birds, the lion , the whales , the majestic elk ! Forgive us if we stare- vacant of any pride --we are fascinated by you, the woman ! The problem is though the more we watch ..the less we can speak! As for me at least !.....lol
I was drawn to the gentle curves
of her photograph
Her face a smile ever so slight
yet far from a laugh
Yes I am a man who watches
as a woman moves
as she speaks
as she sits
Am I the romantic though
or does her photograph
I am both visually and audibly stimulated. Lately, I find that I have been affected more visually than audibly because I have been seeing much more than I have been hearing.
I had a boyfriend once who I fell for because I fell in love with his voice first. On the other hand, I am extremely attracted to certain physical traits.
I am also stimulated intellectually as well. I love extremely intelligent men even if they aren't so sexy physically or audibly.
I understand we all have things that sort of naturally draw us to someone, but I'm wondering if men are less able to bypass those instincts than women are. B/c it seems, at least to me, that women are looking for more than someone who is easy on the eyes... or (as women are often accused) someone who can take financial care of them... it seems to me that women are looking to love on a different kind of level... or maybe they just fall in love differently. I don't know, but as I have always been one to try to understand human nature, I think this one bugs me a bit b/c I can't wrap my mind around the man's perspective. I get it, I just don't... know if the motive comes from nature or if it is something men have simply been conditioned to do.
What I have learned is that men are physical and women are emotional. One Psychologist mentioned that a woman can tell within a few seconds of meeting someone whether or not she'd marry him. A man has to be physically attracted to a woman he will eventually fall in love with. The woman can feel emotionally, intellectually or even spiritually attached to someone before the sexual attraction. Yes men and woman fall in love quite differently.
A man can marry a woman who he is only physically attracted to.
A woman looks for more than physical attraction in a husband.
Yeah... so... what about blind men, for instance? Sure, he has had the same kind of propaganda taught to him thru friends and media etc. But before he could touch her... before anyone could describe her to him... he would fall in love maybe more like a woman does... heart first...
I was thinking the same thing...lol
There are men who fall in love with the heart first too and women who fall for the physical first. I think I am guilty of the physical love...lol
by AnonimusAdvice20 months ago
A follow up To my "SEXY is not the same thing as BEAUTIFUL" essay
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