I'm kind of in the middle of a crisis here as I don't know what to make of this situation. I could use other people's perspectives.
A few days ago a close friend of mine comes to me and says, "I found your girlfriend on a porn site." I was like NO WAY, that's not my girlfriend, she would never do that, she's just not the kind of person. She even thinks artistic female nudes are porn.
Afterwards, I go check out the site and it's my girlfriend in a video made 2 years before I met her. The good news is, it's hard to decide if what the site is dealing in is actually porn or art.
It features short videos submitted by users recording just the face of the person as she is giving herself pleasure. Basically, they just show the person's face as she is masturbating.
The site claims it's not porn, it's an erotic experiment about what it is that turns people on. But I'm undecided. This is not how I know my girlfriend. This is nothing like what she apparently wants me to know her for. Actually, I'm shocked.
So the question is, what should I do? Should I ask her about it? And am I wrong for having a problem with this?
Why don't you just talk to her? Might as well get to it.
You can't condemn someone for their actions before you were together, so you need to decide whether or not you think it is an issue for you now. As Beth says, you should be talking to her about it not us.
What if she has no idea that the video is on the web? She could have been fooling around, someone who saw it on her phone and decided to make some money off her..
Talk to her before judging or jumping to conclusions.
Making a claim like this requires some sort of peer review--after all, more sets of eyes--so I recommend sending us the video in question.
...Oh, right, and I guess a photo, too. But mostly the video.
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