Relationships are wonderful when they're good relationships but unfortunately sometimes they come to a bitter end. When we're hurt, it's easy to turn to someone for consolation because we are vulnerable. Amongst things, sometimes we end up "hooking up" with someone out of hurt and/or anger. BE CAREFUL. I've done rebound sex and trust me, if you're not careful, it can and most likely will blow up in your face. Painfully.
It can go one or two ways.
One, it might help forget about your battle wounds. Heck, maybe even help take a step forward from the breakup. At least now he's not the last guy you've seen naked. However, that's a temporary feeling. You could also end up feeling emptier. Women are just programmed to put feelings into sexual relations. Men mostly do it for the companionship (in other words, the dudes get horny, okay). It's a harsh reality.
Rebound sex is risky. What if the dude doesn't ever call again afterwards? You'll feel humiliated and it's only adding pain on top of pain. Or he will blast you later about having sex with him when you get into a new relationship -_- (if this was twitter that would be a subtweet for sure) it's happened to me and it's sucky. Men and their egos.. Seriously. They need to get over themselves.
Or what if he calls too much afterwards? Maybe you really do just want a rebound. Have sex and dip out. Remember this, you're having sex with another person that has feelings too.
I figured some ground rules or standards for rebound sex:
1. Don't rebound with anyone who compromises your job or makes going to work uncomfortable. In other words, DO NOT hook up with your boss. Don't hook up with a co worker. Don't hook up with a teammate if you're in co-ed sports.. Such as cheer (yes, I did that once) or women's sport if you're lesbian. Hey, I'm cool with whoever you are. No judgment here.
2. Try to pick someone whom you would be attracted or drawn to under non rebound circumstances.
3. He better be cute.. Cuter than your ex at least.
4. No need to hand out home runs when a base hit will satisfy your ego. You don't have to go all the way. In my "before being a mommy" days, a simple outing with the girls, a few drinks, and a make out session with a cute dude boosted my ego that my ex bruised up a little. No need to go home with the dude.
5. If you're to drunk to drive, you're too drunk to make good decisions. Trust me when I say this. DO NOT DO IT.. Or HIM, I mean. This is probably the worst rebound sex. You'll feel stupid the next morning looking around the floor for your pants.. And also your dignity while you're at it.
6. Stay away from your ex's friends. That's an easy one, right? Don't do it. It's wrong on so many levels.. And only makes you look bad. No one else.
7. Stay away from guy friends. You'll more than likely ruin a friendship. Now you're stuck with a break up and one friend less.
8. Stay away from friends boyfriends and ex boyfriends. That's pretty straight forward. Be a good friend. It's not that hard. Don't do what you wouldn't like done to you.
9. I don't care how cool and unfeeling you are... (If unfeeling is a word) sex is intimate. Remember that. I know it's my cheesiest one yet.. But really. It's better to have sex for the right reasons. Rebounds make me feel even worse about myself. Maybe that's just me.. But usually the sex sucks too anyway.
10. Buy a vibrator instead. No feelings hurt on either side. And you don't have to worry about him not calling you.. Or calling you the very next day. Whatever.
11. I said this earlier, the person you are having sex with is also a person. Don't hurt someone else because you're hurt.
12. Love yourself enough to maybe forget this rebound sex idea. Your ex broke it off with you. Having sex with someone else isn't going to make him come running back to you because he realized he can't see you with someone else. He will probably talk a little shit after and move on. Or just not even care enough to give it any thought. A break up is sucky. Deal with it. Find validation within yourself before you go looking for validation from others.
"Men and their egos.. Seriously. They need to get over themselves. "
Women and their feelings.. Seriously. They need to get over themselves.
Rebound sex for a lot of people is equivalent to reaching for "comfort food" or having a drink/getting high to ease their pain. Naturally whatever one does there are bound to be some consequences.
On the one hand you state: "Women are just programmed to put (feelings) into sexual relations." And "Men mostly do it for the companionship (in other words, the dudes get horny, okay). It's a harsh reality." Then you said; "...what if he calls too much afterwards? Maybe you really do just want a rebound. Have sex and dip out." (Can women really do this?) LOL!
The reality is neither gender is standing on "holy ground" when it comes to sex. If women became so (attached) to men due to having sex then there would no such things as prostitutes, porn stars, or women who cheat!
Apparently these women's minds overrule their anatomy and "feelings".
Having sex is in most instances is about (choice). You are responsible for (your) choices in life. This has nothing to do with men and their egos. If you ate a gallon of ice cream and gained weight would you blame the ice cream? or accept the fact YOU made a (choice) to eat it?
If a woman decides she wants to (use) a man as a "tool" to help her forget about her troubles for a little while she can't turn around get upset if he wants more or elects not to call her again. Maturity comes from taking full responsibility for (your) actions. Having unrealistic expectations or failing to evaluate the potential consequences of your actions is on (you).
Sounds like someone needs to learn the diff between a Hub and a forum post.
Loved it- BTW, not everything in life, is to be taken so seriously Enjoy the weekend !
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