Damaged Men Dating

  1. realtalk247 profile image70
    realtalk247posted 2 years ago

    Lamont Carey "She Says She Loves Me"
    She says she loves me, she says she loves me
    so she clings to me even when I want to be left alone
    But she's beautiful
    Like sometimes when I have things on my mind, she's the perfect person to listen
    and she only gives advice, she says when I give her a cue
    She says she loves me
    Like when I wake up in the morning
    she's sitting on the edge of the bed with a plate of food, wanting to feed me
    She says she needs me, she says she loves me
    Or like when I'm stepping out of the shower
    she's standing there with the towel, wanting to, wanting to dry me off
    She says, she says she loves me
    So instead of admitting that she has made another mistake
    she says, she says she loves me
    And I don't know about love

    What a beautiful spoken word piece included on Kendrick Lamar's song:Opposites Attract.  It made me consider the truth of the last statement for some men they truly do not know about love.  What is love?  Is it being used?  Is it being disregarded?  Is it lack of affection or care expressed by their partner?  Is it only superficial, based on lust and looks?

    Women often are considered damaged but truth be told, men can be just as , if not more, than women. 

    How Male Emotions Are Effected During A Break Up - Mybrotha.COM Relationship Editor revealed:
    "When it comes to relationship breakups and heartache, men can be just as emotional as women -- and even more so in many cases. Men who put their hearts and souls into building a relationship find it difficult to move on when ties are severed. Whether the relationship ends because of infidelity, a lack of sustained love and communication, or through pure incompatibility - the pain experienced can be devastating. The usual issues that hurt women also hurt men. Thoughts of insecurity, betrayal, trustworthiness, and loyalty are common, and will eventually test every fiber of a man's heart. However, as a result of the inherent structure of our egos, men often struggle with other unique relationship heartaches women may not be aware of.

    Since males aren't traditionally seen as emotional beings, we are often labeled as being excessively consumed with pain after a significant relationship ends. Psychologists attribute this overreaction to the lack of emotions and communications men experience throughout their lives. After being hit with the destruction of a relationship, many men are unprepared for the emotional rollercoaster they find themselves on. Often, the male psyche doesn't know how to cope with this type of anguish."

    Have you ever dated or known someone who could not appreciate GENUINE love, affection, and care?  What a sad thing to witness someone that makes the individual choice not to be loved, refusing to enjoy the peace found when you spend time with a "good woman."  The ease of the relationship, the lack of selfishness on either party, and the ability to have care displayed. 
    Have you known a male friend or someone who was so hurt by a relationship they completely shut off or have become overly critical or distrustful of all women?

    What are your thoughts about men who don't know about love?

    1. dashingscorpio profile image84
      dashingscorpioposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Timing is everything!
      Both people have to be mentally and emotionally ready for love.

      I believe most men have felt this way after pouring their heart and soul into a relationship only to be cheated on or dumped. However unlike women who can forget the pain of childbirth and prepare to have another child, men who are deeply hurt sometimes never get over it.

      Steven James Dixon  wrote a book titled: "Men Don't Heal, We Ho" Although it's a simplified explanation it nevertheless does apply to some men. After getting hurt they go on a rampage to become "players" and "cheaters". Never trusting another woman with their heart. There are some women whose hearts also turn to stone after experiencing a bad relationship. People like this tend to have a "what's in it for me" approach towards all future relationships. Looking out for #1!

      I've often said it takes more courage to fall "in love" a second, third, or fourth time than it does the first time. Very few people ever want to be completely (vulnerable) again to anyone.
      Ultimately everyone comes into a relationship with battle scars from their previous relationships or damaged from their formative childhood years. You can't save or nurture another person into changing their belief system. People have to work on themselves in order to heal!

      The biggest mistake a lot of women make is trying to become a "rescuer" or taking on men as "projects". They want to teach or show him that "good women" really do exist and therefore they bend over backwards to (prove) it to them. In some instances they cut their man lots of slack and have no real expectations of him treating them special. Once they finally realize he is never going to "appreciate them" that's when they start saying things like "All men are no good selfish pigs!"
      The reality is these women "knowingly" (chose) a damaged man!