Do you remember ...

  1. 61
    SamanthaNicoleeposted 2 years ago via iphone

    I remember this one night out of our relationship very specifically. 
You had called me, crying. 
I hated when you cried. It was like the worst thing in the world to me & no, this has not changed. Anyway - I got over there to your house & your pacing the neighborhood & telling me you can’t do any of this anymore. The way your mom could occasionally make you feel, the fights we were having on a daily basis..
We had been talking about breaking up for awhile, just talking about it..
Well, after talking to you for just a few minutes I smelled the alcohol on your breath. At the moment, I was weak. I knew we couldn’t keep doing this. We couldn’t keep going down this road. So I talked to you, and we got into some stupid petty fight and we ended it. Or said we were going to.. So I start crying, but I know I need out of there before I have a full on breakdown.. 
So I start leaving and here you are, in the rear view mirror running behind me. I stopped the car, I get out and you cry to me “I love you, Sam. And I never want you to leave me” telling you that I had no choice was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. Watching you standing there as I left, you don’t have a clue how bad I wanted to turn around. How bad I wanted to tap those breaks to let you know I was hesitating because I didn’t really want to go.. 
You have no idea how bad my lips longed to touch yours at that exact moment, my heart ached for you. I wanted those salty tears on my lips, I wanted to taste everything, every ounce of love we’ve ever had in that one kiss. 
I wanted to tell you that we would figure it out, and that I love you. 
But I just kept going, I didn’t tap the breaks.. I didn’t slowdown. 
That you saw, I’m coming to the front of your neighborhood & I know that I can’t be without you - I tapped the breaks. 
But, it wasn’t enough. It was to late, and I just continued home. 
I will never stop love you, and that’s what no one gets. But certain things like this - I’ll remember for the rest of my life.