jump to last post 1-2 of 2 discussions (5 posts)

Unsolicited interference

  1. hack writer profile image80
    hack writerposted 2 years ago

    Should I just mind my own business and look somewhere else when I see relationships are hurting and things don't get addressed?

    1. Dale Hyde profile image88
      Dale Hydeposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      Not sure what you are really asking.  I presume relationships between support and authors?  Have you posted a glitch or a problem that has not been addressed?

      There are staff monitored forums for technical issues and such.  Posting in those areas will usually get a response.

      I may be entirely off base in my ability to comprehend what you are asking, however. smile

      If you are talking about personal relationships, well, I would give it some time and effort then simply look elsewhere.  It has worked for me in the past.  Hoping on something that will not happen only wastes one's time.

      1. hack writer profile image80
        hack writerposted 2 years ago in reply to this

        I am talking about personal relationships.

        In particular the ones in which I just care about a person involved but have no business poking my nose in.

        As an example should I keep poking when I see that a coworker has unresolved family issues?

        Common sense says no, I should not. I know. But isn't it almost like a bully-bullied-bystander situation? Isn't the bystander part of the problem to a certain degree?

        I know I am hurting myself doing so. I am wasting my time and energy and possibly put the relationship with the coworker at risk. But I think it might still be worth it for a chance of improving the issue in question.

  2. psycheskinner profile image81
    psycheskinnerposted 2 years ago

    If you can actually help, help. But maybe that is by being supportive not trying to "fix" things.

    1. hack writer profile image80
      hack writerposted 2 years ago in reply to this

      So you're saying I should say/feel "I support you. No matter what. Even if I think it is hurting you."

      I am not so sure. Because this is maybe what brought the person there in the first place. If everyone just always gives a supportive "I know, boo hoo." how is this helping? Why not try to suggest a new way of approaching the problem.

      I am not saying I try to fix things for the other person. I just try to point things out. Even if it is not comfortable to look at what went wrong.

      I agree that it is important to make sure the other person knows it comes from a caring heart. Like I should convey " I love you no matter what. I love you, if you keep doing what you have been doing for many years and what has led to this or that problem. And I love you, if you give this a try.... I love you no matter what. My love isn't effected by your actions."

      The right way of communicating the right thing is half the battle, I guess.
      I can mean so well but if I don't get my good intentions across I fail in my attempt to help.
      I can have bad intentions and wrap them up in smooth manipulative talking. Not good.
      Or the best approach is I can ask the other person if she/he is ready to hear my tough approach/solution which is based on the good intentions. Then be gentle.

      Thank you. I think I see clearer now.