need guidance.

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    anunakakposted 23 months ago

    Hi am living in madurai.india..am37 year old am live with my wife and daughter year old.we run the married life 8 and half years.and am not live wife went away from me three times and she come back.even my child one month old that time she went first followingly two times.ans four time suicide attempt.and before marriage she got affair with 3 persons after my child born then only I know that.that she only told.I said forget we live at present.after all this am running my of my colleague came lunch for my home one day.after that two filmed to see day mid night my wife take my phone SMS him like she love him.aftert this next day that fellow showed SMS.I ask my wife she said I sent just like that what is in wrong? Like my life ruined.all am holding for my daughter to grow.suddenly one day my wife sister came our home she stayed for some study.that time we close with pure we want marry and live together.she is 20 year plan to so second marriage.I need to know the positive and negative.when am with her am feel my soul happiness.

    1. Kathryn L Hill profile image83
      Kathryn L Hillposted 23 months ago in reply to this

      Wow!  What a soap opera! Here is your story edited for the sake of inquiring minds here in the U.S.

      "Hi. I live in Madurai, India. I am 37 year old. I live with my wife and one year old daughter. We have been married for 8 1/2 years, but I am not happy. My wife has left me three times. The first time, she took our one month old child with her. She has attempted suicide four times.
      (What ever happened before you married her does not matter.)
      One day, one of my colleagues came to have lunch in my home. Once, at midnight, my wife took my phone and texted my colleague as though she she loved him. The next day that fellow showed me the SMS text. I asked my wife about it and she said  "I sent it... What is the harm in it?" I felt like my life was ruined. All I was holding onto was for my daughter to grow.
      Then, suddenly, one day my wife's sister came to our home. She stayed for some time to study. During that time, we became close with pure love. Now we want marry and live together. She is 20 years old. Now, I am planning a second marriage. I need to know the positives and negatives. When I am with her, I feel my soul happiness."

      1. But, she is your wife's sister! The situation will be awkward in more ways than one!!!!
      2. It would be best for your child if you stayed with your wife. You have been together for eight years! You have a long history and spiritual growth is always possible in any situation. Can't your wife tell you how you can change so that she could be happier with you? (and vice vera, of course.) You could have separate bedrooms and work on the relationship until you see things harmoniously again.
      3. Your daughter would rather you two stay together. If your daughter lives with your wife, she will loose her father to his new bride: her aunt!
      4. You could get divorced now and focus on co-parenting the child in separate living arrangements. It would be ideal for you to not marry or date anyone until your daughter is eighteen. At that point, and not before, you can live your life as you see fit. (Perhaps your wife's sister could wait until then…If she is not willing to wait, I not would think about marrying her.)

      If you do not care about your wife or your daughter, go ahead and live your self-oriented life with a self-oriented young girl who will probably end up just like her sister. (They could be two nuts from the same tree…)

      Get your head on straight! (No, not that one... with that one, you will get your wife's sister pregnant and then you will have some real problems such as jealousies between the offspring who will be both siblings and cousins !? You could also have resentments between your wife and her sister! What woman could do this to her sister… unless your wife is fine with it..?
      Is she?