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Are your friends really your friends?

  1. realtalk247 profile image72
    realtalk247posted 19 months ago

    We all are familiar with frenemies.  You know the people that call you on the phone, hang out with you, or some over just to hang out but secretly have issues with you?  You know......the men who's friends are jealous that you get all the girls.  The girlfriend who feels insecure because you are more polished/educated or was raised in a environment not quite like theirs.  These are people who hang around trying to destroy you from the inside out. Hanging around for information and research purposes. Then you have the friends that tell you what everyone else said about you.  My question, you must have been talking about me with the other person for that person to feel comfortable talking about me? 

    Why do you think it is harder for women to be friends?  Do women hold grudges more than men or are women more interested in conducting espionage? 

    Do you have friends that you no longer keep in touch with because you doubt they are true friends?  Have you healed a relationship with a former frenemies?

    1. dashingscorpio profile image86
      dashingscorpioposted 19 months ago in reply to this

      I believe women have more expectations of their friendships with other women than men have with their male friends.

      Guys are fine with keeping things light and superficial. We have no need to be able to express our inner thoughts/feelings to our friends. We're for the most part fine with sticking to topics that involve sex, sports, current events, hobbies, and fond memories over a few beers while watching TV, shooting pool, fishing, or some other relaxing activity.

      Women on the other hand want their girlfriends to be the equivalent of their sisters. They want to know they can bare their souls to each other, cry on each other's shoulders, get advice about how to deal with boyfriends or husbands and so forth.

      There is an "emotional investment" women make in their friendships that most guys tend not to do with each other.

      The more expectations and demands that are made of friends the easier it is to have drama, disappointment, and frustration in one's relationships.

      A man will claim another guy is his "best friend" even if they've not seen or spoken to each other in years because of their distance. Everything that happened when they use to hang-out for years remains in their "memory banks" and the feeling is if and when they meet up again it will automatically be like "old times".  The occasional email/ birthday card is fine.

      Very few women would call another woman their best friend if they don't spend much (time together) or have (frequent phone conversations). There are other women who claim to have male friends because they find women friends to be too needy, petty, or competitive with one another.

      Most guys don't want to be in other's business.
      Our friendships are usually very "stress free" and laid back because of a lack of demands or expectations we have of each other.

  2. ahorseback profile image55
    ahorsebackposted 19 months ago

    As a man , I find that as I age , 61 now,   there are fewer and fewer  truly trustable,  reliable and  neutral  friends in my life .  That's fine  for me because I never truly trusted  almost anyone enough anyways .  Always being an avid  studier  , observer of human behavior  I find I am far better off with a dog . ! Its really always been interesting to watch a "friend " around the females in my life , or to be a great listener  , I seem to  find  those who never hear my words , needs or cries  for friendship . Yes I know , it's probably of  my own making mostly . But hey , it's all good .

    Better off  guardedly alone , for the most part .

    1. realtalk247 profile image72
      realtalk247posted 19 months ago in reply to this

      LOL. True. A dog is probably more loyal. People have too many issues.

  3. realtalk247 profile image72
    realtalk247posted 19 months ago

    I've dating men and must say 70%-80% show signs of disloyalty to their friend. Flirting or trying give me the eye to which I quickly role mine like....really.  Then I think the man I'm dating has poor judge of character if he chooses to be close friends with men who are untrustworthy just to have someone to hang around. Sad

  4. Stacie L profile image90
    Stacie Lposted 19 months ago

    Most of us don't really know another person's motives and can't read their minds.
    Having true friends today seems to be an impossible dream.
    Many popular programs seem to celebrate the bad side of friendships with betrayals, deceit and exploitation; it influences people's perception about friends behavior.
    Maybe it's partly due to our society being more mobile, or social sites and texting have killed out social skills.
    I wish I knew the answer as well.