Ladies to you have standards when dating?

  1. realtalk247 profile image69
    realtalk247posted 19 months ago

    Sometimes, over time, women tend to lower their standards.  Older ladies categorized this as simply getting desperate, being prepared to take anything that comes along. 

    For those who have standards, what are yours?
    Are there things that you will not tolerate?
    Are there red flags that result in you refusing to move forward?
    For the standars you apply to a man, do you carry the same or similar standards for yourself?

    Mandy Hale-
    Refuse to lower your standards to accomodate those who refuse to raise their standards.

    Do you feel opposites attract?  Do you have a different philosophy?  Anyoone chose to not apply standards-how did that work out for you?

    1. dashingscorpio profile image86
      dashingscorpioposted 19 months ago in reply to this

      From what I've observed everyone has standards going into relationships.
      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.

      However what often happens is once people become "emotionally invested" that's when they tend to modify their "deal breakers".
      Women who clearly stated they'd never put up with cheating will get married and find out their husband is cheating but instead of filing for divorce they stay.

      Maybe most so called "standards" in the (hypothetical world) are different when one faces them in "real life". The old adage: "Never say never."

      It could also be some women HATE the dating process so much they'd rather hold onto the man they have than get back "out there" and start over again. I've heard women say: "I've got 5 or 10 years (invested) in this relationship and I'm not going to (simply walk away)".

      Even if their "no good" man leaves them (they'll pursue him) or attempt find ways to get revenge instead of trying to find someone new who would love and appreciate them. Some people find "drama" to be exciting and romantic!
      My guess is some women simply have a hard time letting go once they're "emotionally invested". Compromising or lower their standards with the devil they know seems more appealing than starting over again.

      There are other women who seldom have any men pay attention to them and the first man who does they'll do whatever it takes to hold onto him.

      Lastly some women may have reached the conclusion that their "standards" are either "unrealistic" or the type of men (they want) are not attracted to them! They learn (men) also have standards!

      Lets say you have woman who looks like Gabourey Sidibe from the movie "Precious" (see photo below) and she wants a man who looks like Denzel Washington or Shemar Moore.

      However the only men that approach her are what she considers "unattractive losers". After a certain amount of time she finally says yes to one them. Did she settle? Lower her standards? or simply gave herself a "reality check" or realized she does not have traits her "ideal man" wants! Don't expect to sit next to the moon unless (you) are a star!

      Most people never take the step of imagining being in their "ideal mate's" shoes and looking back at themselves while asking the following question.

      "If I were him/her would I want me?"

      If the answer is no one has to cultivate the traits they believe their "ideal mate" wants in their mate. Both people get to have their set of standards.

      The reality is people don't accept less if they truly (believe) they can have more or better. They always take what they consider to be (the best deal) on the table. Relationships and marriage are a "choice".
      No one has to be in one.

      If someone is in one it's because they want to be.
      Being with the person you said "yes" to is getting what you want or were willing to pay the price for. There is always a cost VS reward thing.
      Some people aren't willing to expend the effort to get what (they say) they "want".  One man's opinion.

  2. psycheskinner profile image82
    psycheskinnerposted 19 months ago

    People should have standards that apply to their needs, which can change.  No point being righteously alone if being in a couple is important to you.