I think that understanding is the most important thing one can have in a relationship. with understanding anything is possible
The determination that the other should go first. (Only kidding.) You'd need one heck of a good sense of humor and a balanced ego. Either that or psychopathic tendencies and your partner - hopeless co-dependency.
You know if you're on the right track if that cute little tic your partner has is still cute after 10 years. If it's starting to grate after a few months - forget it.
Two people who are "in love" and want to stay together.
If someone is "in love" they're honest, they respect, they empathize, they put in the effort, they don't take their mate for granted, they communicate their wants and needs, they listen, they'd rather compromise than win because remaining together is a victory in their mind.
When two people are "in love" then love really can conquer all.
However it's far easier to "fall in love" than it is to "stay in love".
When people (fall out of love) anything can happen and it's usually not good. Everyone wants to know: "How do you keep the music playing?"
Choosing the "right mate" for oneself is the key!
Commitment and laughter make for the strongest relationships. Both people need expectations to be realistic. For example nobody can meet all your needs, don't expect it. Relationships are between flawed people and you need to find a way to accept or adapt to those flaws. That is not to say if someone is harming you that you accept mistreatment. If someone is harming you get out, and stay out of that relationship.
yes laughing is very important my guy still makes me laugh.
There is also a dark side to life time relationships. I was married for 23 years and it ended with the death of my husband. On his death, I discovered he had been unfaithful numerous times, regularly used prostitutes and had a much bigger salary than I thought. I had spent years providing for the kids, whilst he had been spending his money on goodness knows what. Despite this, we had a great relationship and a happy marriage. I can only conclude that I didn't want to face the fact that he had another life and he was happy to not mention it. Denial, was in my case, an important factor in maintaining this life time commitment. It was all staring me in the face but I chose to over look it and what's more do not regret it. I was blind to all his faults because I loved him. This might make me sound like a fool and maybe I should be bitter but I don't consider myself hard done by. No one made me marry the guy, or stay with him for all those years. So to answer your question, love makes people stay together, love and stupidity.
Popit, The old adage: "Ignorance is bliss" has merit.
I'm sure there are many women who have chosen not to "know" what their husbands did behind their back especially if he was a good father and provided for his family.
I imagine in some instances women may have been relieved not to have to participate in various activities with their husbands as often or not at all.
It's especially easy to ignore when one's spouse is discreet about things.
There is also no such thing as an "universal deal breaker".
People stay because they don't want to leave.
Life is a (personal) journey.
Your post made me smile. There was plenty of 'activity' with me. And then there were the others ......
But it was kind of you to post.
I soo agree with you ignorance is a bliss but woman instinct are strong and some prefer not to share ad that silently murder them from inside
I'm so sorry to hear, and I know that people can be deceiving and I don't know how people can live that way
Don't be sorry, I'm not. The only reason I shared, is because love and relationships are very, very complicated because people are. It is possible to be a deceiver and still be lots of other more positive things. Life isn't all Ha Ha, He He and nothing is black and white in a relationship. We make our choices and then we live with them. The trick I'm learning is to find the positive and not obsess with the negative. Plus it's made me what I am today! You'd have to ask my second husband whether that's a good thing or not.
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by aykianink7 months ago
I've seen this more than once and would love to hear everyone's opinion.
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Although I feel there are a multitude of ingredients that need to blend together to create a happy marriage, cherishing your partner, would be high on my list of important ingredients.
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