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Good advice -Dating

  1. realtalk247 profile image70
    realtalk247posted 15 months ago

    Before you can successfully date someone there are some things you need to know and experience.
    1.Love yourself.
    2.Be your own person. Completely whole within yourself. Friends/family, etc.
    3.Know what you want and do not reduce your standards to justify dating someone that does not meet those standards.
    4.Who you desire should be in your realm of achievement.  It's not fair to weigh 300 pounds and say she must be petite and fit.  It's not fair not to prepare for your life (education/trade), be financially unstable, and desire a man who has wealth/property.  Be the person you desire to have.
    5. Make sure someone earns your love - they will appreciate and value it more than if you fall in love with anyone/everyone walking by.
    6. Spirituality - if you have it and your partner doesn't.....this could be a major problem.Besides when you are in touch with the creator your ability to see people for who they are becomes stronger.
    7. Be happy. No one can give you happiness. You must possess it for yourself.

    1. dashingscorpio profile image84
      dashingscorpioposted 15 months ago in reply to this

      There is some very sound advice here.
      However I believe some folks have conflicts with #3 & #4.
      There are lots of folks who (see themselves) as being something other than what other people see. For instance there are a lot of people who are obese that see themselves as being "sexy" or "hot"!
      In fact there is a move in our culture to encourage them to be accepting and loving of themselves no matter what weight they are.
      There's nothing wrong with that as long as they don't hold it against people who don't want to date obese people. Everyone is entitled to have their own preferences!

      People only "reduce their standards" when they realize they don't have what it takes to attract the kind of people they believe they are worthy of.
      People only "settle" for (the best option they believe is available) to them.

      I completely agree with "Be the person you desire to have."
      There are far too many folks looking for a love that they themselves are unwilling to give to someone else!

      It takes courage to open up one's heart and give their all to a relationship.
      These days everyone is looking for someone who loves them more then they love him/her. The person who is less "emotionally invested" controls the relationship. They want to be in "control" of the relationship.

      In conjunction with the quote you posted:
      If your biggest fear is not losing your mate than it means you're not "in love". On the other hand it may mean they've assured you it will never happen. Being in a secure relationship has a way of relaxing one.
      You just have to be careful not to take them for granted.

      Last but not least; Never engage in playing "the blame game".
      Each of us (chooses) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
      You are always where (you choose) to be!

      Anyone who has one bad relationship after another needs to re-examine their "mate selection criteria". The only thing all of your bad relationships have in common is (you)!

      Fortunately we have the ability to learn from our mistakes!
      If you believe it's always the other person's fault then you're not likely to (change) your mate selection methods or learn from your mistakes.

      1. realtalk247 profile image70
        realtalk247posted 15 months ago in reply to this

        Good advice. On #3, I must say that works both ways. There are men that talk about needing a "10" when they look like Lil Wayne "1."  Money will buy you anything, even fake friends and fake love but it does not indicate what you are capable of attracting without throwing in financial gain. 
        You are right that people need to examine their mate selection. When you value yourself you should only allow people in your life that value you as well.  I remained baffled by 2's that believe they need a 10. Even if you are in shape-your face is still your face and that doesn't go away.  There is nothing wrong with presenting your best self however I've known men that look average and stay obsessed about working out -you are still an average dude no matter how big your muscles are but good try. LOL. Of course I'm speaking of what does not matter so much to some looking beyond the surface, interested in the heart/soul of a man. Yet, I digress.

        Good points on having the courage to love because it takes courage to put it on the line and give people a try.

  2. Castlepaloma profile image25
    Castlepalomaposted 15 months ago

    Must be, in love with love.

    Last three girlfriends were Christians and all 3 stopped our realationship because I could not be saved.

    Shall I stop going out with Christians?

    Because I'll never be able to understand
    the Religion

    PS. Have not harmed anyone and honest. Don't I deserve heaven on earth

    1. realtalk247 profile image70
      realtalk247posted 15 months ago in reply to this

      Love is a gamble. If you don't mesh well with people who participate in organized religion then maybe that's not for you. You, nor your prior girlfriends, are bad people perhaps you simply didn't match. Your match is still out there somewhere. Good luck.

      1. Castlepaloma profile image25
        Castlepalomaposted 15 months ago in reply to this

        Yes, there is a lid for every pot.