Nice girls/nice guys are oftentimes viewed as dull, colorless, w/o personalities or pizazz. They are seen as non-threatening, the girl/boy next door type. They are deemed to be lacking in any type of magnetism and/or charisma. The opposite gender consider nice girls/nice buys more as friends than as paramours. In the dating and relationship game, nice girls/nice guys are oftentimes in last place. They simply do not have that edge nor swag which draws people. Some ever maintain that nice girls/nice guys are just vanilla......lukewarm. Well, the bad boy/bad girl have IT all-personality, magnetism, and swag. They are self-confident. They know what they want and go after it. They are noticed.......in fact, they aim to be noticed. In terms of relationships, bad boys/bad girls are not definitely friends but something else entirely. In essence, bad boys/bad girls are attractors and draws while nice girls/nice guys oftentimes are overlooked in the relationship game. YOUR thoughts?
I completely agree.
This happens when we most clamor for acceptance and recognition during our youth. Everyone wants to be thought of as being "hot" and being a member of the "in crowd" on some level whether we will publically admit it or not. Being "in demand" has it's perks.
No matter how often a young lady is told by (her parents) that she is beautiful and "special" it means nothing if none of the boys at her school ask her out to the big dance. People want to be celebrated not ignored.
Confidence and boldness are often absent in "nice girls" and "nice guys".
What I find to be ironic is both the "nice girls" and the "nice guys" usually refuse to engage with each other! It's like the old Groucho Marx quote:
"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."
Both the "nice girl" and the "nice guy" want to be with those they consider to be out of their league. The only time the "in crowd" acknowledges them is for help with homework or to help them get ahead in their careers.
When they become adults the "nice guy" fears rejection and is reluctant to approach women. The "nice girl" wants a "nice guy" who looks like a "bad boy" and is admired by his peers.
She's the Cinderella looking to be (discovered) and rescued by the prince or knight in shinning armor. The fantasy is he overlooks all the obvious "hot looking" flirtatious sexually provocative women and finds her in a corner and is drawn towards her.
Nice girls/nice guys would rather throw their hands up in the air and complain about the world rather than "compete" in it. They think they are above that and many of them are afraid of looking and feeling foolish.
Some women who loudly profess "I don't need a man!" do so because they have been unable to get a man. They want to reject the idea of having a man because it hurts too much to admit they've had no luck attracting one.
Truth be told they don't want to be with the men who do desire them.
They feel they deserve a man who "has it all" and refuse to "settle".
However men/women who have it all also have the most options!
On the other hand in the news they're incidences of men such as Elliot Rodger in Santa Barbara, CA and George Sodini of Pittsburgh, PA who became so frustrated at being overlooked/rejected by beautiful women that they went out on a killing spree. One guy was college age and the other was age 48. Ironically both guys considered themselves to be "nice" and "attractive". It frustrated them to see women with guys (they) considered inferior to themselves especially those in interracial relationships.
My guess is these two men lacked personality skills or they only wanted to be with women that would be considered out of their class. There are lots of men who look like George Costanza from Seinfeld who believe they're entitled to have a model girlfriend similar to Heidi Klum!
However it's not just about looks.
After all Heidi Klum was married to Seal!
Fame, wealth, personality, being physically fit, & with swagger counts.
Nice girls/nice guys really don't assert themselves. They are afraid to say what they want. They are more afraid of going after what they want. They seem to be more comfortable being the background. Somehow subconsciously, they feel they are unworthy of attention and adulation from others. They may even rationalize that if they have confidence and swag, they are vain and conceited. They epitomize modesty and humbleness. However, this modesty and humbleness are getting them nowhere in the relationship game.
People view nice girls/nice guys as very vanilla i.e. bland. They have no spice in them. They are considered to be neuter and at the most non-threatened. The nice girl/nice guy is the harmless pal and all around friend, never the paramour, the lover. In essence, the nice girl/nice guy is not the desired one. H/she just doesn't have that oomph, that "it" quality. People gravitate towards those who have.....appeal, that magnetism. So-called bad boys/bad girls( hate that description) have that confidence....that ALLURE which draws others to them. Nice girls/nice guys are sunday school people!
Sweeping "generalizations" make for a more practical discussion than trying to cover over 7 Billion individual possible scenarios.
Opinions are based upon one's observations and experiences.
It's not about "right" or "wrong" but rather "agree" or disagree"
You ever hear the (popular) adage: "Nice guys finish last."
I'm sure it was not the result of a "scientific study".
Nevertheless many folks must have observed it in order to repeat it.
Every now and then a man bites a dog.
However it's more expedient to focus on "the rule" rather than the "exception".
I wonder if its more subtle in Europe?
For instance, to get noticed, a (good) French girl might light up a cigarette in a dimly lit corner of a restaurant revealing long French legs in some languid pose. A French man would understand her subtle signaling: "She is a good girl who just wants a one night stand," he would accurately deduct; or someone's perfectly nice wife, angry at her husband for that evening. Or say, in Germany, a couple of cute nice blonds go out to a local beer hall (Bierpalast) and get totally happy, looking for a good time for the evening. Shyly giggling between themselves, they attract a couple of hearty lads and they may or may not go out as a foursome for at least the rest of the month. In Britain, an innocent bookworm in the library knows she will have no problem attracting a fellow nerd. She might be disturbed by his tweed sports jacket and white socks below too short of trousers, but in time, she falls in love with his intellect. They might even hit it off and get married within the year.
In Italy there is the nice girl in white staring wistfully out at a gondola on the waterway quietly yearning for a romantic ride. So, she sits on a rock facing the Venice waterway and gets out a long flowing black scarf which she wraps around her neck and then puts on a pair of Italian Ray-Bans. She is demure and un-flaunting as she dreams, but, within the hour she is swept into a gondola for a leisurely ride toward the abode of handsome Aurelio.
Yep, thats how it is in Europe. They don't have our issues
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