Should we be taught how to deal with crushes in school?

  1. greeneyedblondie profile image79
    greeneyedblondieposted 8 months ago

    I know I’ve had my fair share of not really knowing how to deal with a crush I had on a boy when I was even younger than I am now. Of course I’d eventually tell him, but before it got to that I’d act so weird. This included stalking online and sometimes learning his class schedule so I could see them in the halls or sit near him in class.

    In my yearbook class last year a girl I know had a crush on two boys at school. How did she handle it? She made one of the pages she was assigned all pictures of those two boys. Others in my class called it “the shrine” and yes those guys eventually did find out about it. The pages were changed before the yearbook got printed but it’s almost a legend in my high school because of how tiny it is.

    My question to you is, should dealing with a crush be taught in school (like not making a shrine in the yearbook of the boys you like) or just be left alone? Oh, and do you have any strange crush stories from when you were younger?

    1. dashingscorpio profile image86
      dashingscorpioposted 8 months ago in reply to this

      I don't think it's possible to teach people how to deal with crushes.

      More often than not the person who has a crush is either "shy", "insecure", or "afraid" to just walk up to the person and initiate a date or make it known they have a romantic interest.

      School aged people are especially prone to wanting "the other person" to reveal to them how they feel before they will let them know how they feel.

      You can't teach (courage) or train people to take risks. It's something they have to be willing to do on their own knowing they can survive rejection.
      One old adage goes: "Nothing ventured nothing gained."

      Women and girls in particular are more prone to be afraid of being rejected by guys. I suspect it's one of the main reasons why they ask their friends to "find out" what a guy thinks about them or in some instances many of then will stay in long-term relationships (waiting) for "the guy" to propose. Truth be told a fast rejection saves everyone time.

      Having said that oftentimes "crushes" exists because we (know) the other person is already in a relationship with someone else or aren't available to us. We may even know we're not "their type" or wouldn't stand a chance.

      In those instances the crush is similar to having a fun fantasy much like many people have with famous celebrities. They don't expect anything to ever come of it. Privately it is one of their "guilty pleasures".

      Most people want to avoid the reality of being shot down or put in the "friend zone". There is a reason why movies where guys are unaware of girls having crushes on them are such a hit when he "finally realizes" the girl who is "right for him" has always been around him.

  2. calculus-geometry profile image86
    calculus-geometryposted 8 months ago

    I cannot imagine anything more mortifying than sitting through a special class on how to not be a stalker. Schools, trying to err on the side of caution, will classify harmless and innocent behavior as stalking and just make people more ashamed and anxious.  Teenagers are still children, and children are still figuring out how social interaction works. They don't always get it right and need to make mistakes in order to learn.

    I think the current system of dealing with more problematic cases on an individual basis is better.  Adults should intervene when the behavior is going too far.