Is it proper, ethical & morally right for a married woman who had a past romantic relationship with a husband who is with his wife to excitedly give a frontal hug to the "caught by surprise" husband before going to greet the wife (having promised the wife never to get near the wife's husband after the romantic affair has been discovered?), the wife having treated the woman not just a friend but like her sister? Is it also proper, ethical & morally right for a woman who has past romantic relationship with the wife's husband to ask an equally "caught by surprise" wife to forgive & forget everything and reconcile after smiling and saying "Ate, I'm sorry, bati na tayo" after making the wife appear the liar to their friends to cover up the affair with the wife's husband during that surprise "bumping into each other" during the wife & husband's hurried appointment to the dentist?
When did Hubpages take up marriage guidance counselling?
Too confusing for me? Hugs are good, right?
Generally speaking "right" and "wrong" are in the eye of he beholder.
Clearly this woman saw nothing "wrong" with embracing her ex lover.
Ultimately the husband never left his wife and she never left her husband.
The question is:
Why is this couple still in the same social circle as the mistress?
If it was a rare "chance meeting" between everyone I wouldn't dwell on it.
If the wife is going continue to act as if she is friends then she has to stop over examining every smile, hug, and greeting that takes place.
Each of us gets to (choose) our own friends, lovers, and spouse.
Each of us gets to (choose) who we spend our time with.
Lastly it sounds like the wife blames the "mistress" for the affair!
The husband is the only one who exchanged vows with her.
No one can control the actions of another person.
All the wife can do is decide if she wants to deal with either of them.
Some people would have considered the affair to be a "deal breaker" for both the marriage and the friendship.
I'm not sure I follow, but I believe you are saying you and your husband reconciled after he had an affair and you ran into the former "other woman" who gave your husband a hug? and then asked for your forgiveness? You were caught be surprise by the whole encounter and now it has churned up some old resentments and hurt feelings.
No one here knows you and can really weigh in though. Every marriage is different, some survive affairs and others certainly do not. I am not someone who would ever forgive that and would move on, but I respect those with a higher capacity for forgiveness. It's difficult to say, but I can certainly see how that experience would bring things all back.
Hopefully you are working with a marriage counselor yes?
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