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I am suffering from female-phobia!!!

  1. akrami profile image77
    akramiposted 7 years ago

    I am a 31 year young guy. I am single and also virgin.  I am suffering from female-phobia i.e. love-shy.  Is there anyone who can help me to remove this phobia or tell me how to get rid of this?

    1. profile image0
      Maximus591posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Haha. Are you being for real?

      Lets assume you are. Firstly, you clearly have over-sexualised females in your mind. You perceive a female to consist of nothing more than a vagina and breasts. Many men do this. Even those who aren't suffering from 'female-phobia'.

      Once you reduce your over sexualisation of females you will start to see them in more sensible terms. As a person. An individual who can become your friend.

      No doubt many will offer you the usual advice. Get out more. Meet more women. Join a club. Yadda yadda yadda. All this adice is meaningless unless you can displace in your mine your over-sexualised fantasies of females into sometinge a little more realistic.

      Good luck.

      1. myownworld profile image82
        myownworldposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I agree.....first get that pent up sexual energy out of the way...and then u can move on to a relationship....
        (now don't ask me how u do that....! wink

        1. Friendlyword profile image60
          Friendlywordposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          Come on...A pro would kill him. Get a hobby a job go to the library, find something you are very passionate about or interested in and talk to women that have the same interest. This way when see someone who looks like MYOWNWORLD you wont shut down because you will actually have something to talk about. You need a woman to be your friend for awhile before you start looking for one to take your virginity. The best of luck to you.

    2. andromida profile image75
      andromidaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      you need to take some initiative to breakup your virginity,I mean if you wanna marry-that's okay. Of course before marriage talk to your to be bride abt your phobia.

    3. profile image0
      Uma07posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Are u serious? Some men say they are better off single big_smile

      1. akrami profile image77
        akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Yes ofcourse I am sure and serious. I would like to once again utter that I am a single and wants to get married.
        by the way what you have heard is not true.  You have mistaken men or it is alsopossible that someone have misinformed you.

        For a complete man it is very much hard to stay single.  A Perfect man can’t live single.  He will always seek for a company of a woman to share his thoughts and to share her love and feel more secure with her woman. And this is the reason why en always wants to get married.

        Always remember this quote by a great English novelist called Jane Austen. “A single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.”

        1. myownworld profile image82
          myownworldposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          look honey if u want to stay stuck in the 18th century (that's when jane austen wrote her novels!) you won't have much luck with a modern day intelligent woman anywhere...! no one wants a 'perfect' man answering to that definition for sure!

          1. akrami profile image77
            akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            Thank you very much for your great advice. I will try my best to be a man of the 21st century.

        2. profile image0
          Uma07posted 7 years ago in reply to this

          Didn't want to offend you.My apologies...I pray u get the woman of ur choice and may she bring u all the good fortune and happiness in ur life.

          1. akrami profile image77
            akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            Thank you very much for your such a great favour.
            By the way, no needs to apologise. Don’t think me as such an offending crab, which can’t bear even a smallest kidding.
            `

    4. Lady_E profile image81
      Lady_Eposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Why didn't you tell us about this 6 months ago when you joined HP. We could have had you married by now. smile

      1. akrami profile image77
        akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Thanks for your great favor. By the way, you are right. But, Although, I had joint HP six month back but, I have just started Hubtivity.

    5. Lady_E profile image81
      Lady_Eposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Akrami

      Check out the Muslim website below. You can meet friends there. I selected it cos your profile says you are a Traditional Muslim. Funny enough, on your profile page, there is a big Dating Website Ad conveniently placed there.

      http://salaamlove.com/

      Ps. If your not into Dating Websites, then pardon me. smile

    6. video lost profile image60
      video lostposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Get married, simple

    7. Mrvoodoo profile image60
      Mrvoodooposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      All of those who tell you that men and women are essentially the same are lying to you. big_smile

      Be afraid, be very afraid.

      http://www.featurepics.com/FI/Thumb/20070916/Spooky-Halloween-Spider-Silhouette-454622.jpg

      Genetically spiders and humans are something like 99% the same, and you know what female spiders do to their men right? wink

      1. Wonder_Woman profile image60
        Wonder_Womanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        lol big_smile

        1. Mrvoodoo profile image60
          Mrvoodooposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          You know I'm right, lol, I'm sure you've spun a web or two. wink

          1. Wonder_Woman profile image60
            Wonder_Womanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            V ... no im one of those nice spiders  ^_^ im not harmful at all

            1. profile image0
              bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago in reply to this

              I'm sure you're not....Weren't you say somthing about going to the gym so you could hold your boyfriend down?

              1. Wonder_Woman profile image60
                Wonder_Womanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                but im gently aggresive smile

                1. profile image0
                  bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                  That makes it all better...

      2. Friendlyword profile image60
        Friendlywordposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Now that's the kind of guy that has to get married because most women will cut him dead. Most women will give you back what you bring to them. The bad ones give you warning signs a mile away. Keep a good attitude.

      3. akrami profile image77
        akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        A good Joke and it holds some reality. lol, Ladies! no offence, pleae,

    8. prettydarkhorse profile image65
      prettydarkhorseposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      YOU NEED TO BUILD YOUR SELF CONFIDENCE FIRST, iF YOU CANT BELIVE IN YOURSELF, OTHERS WILL NOT BELIEVE IN YOU. MOST WOMEN WANT TO BE PROTECTED (BY THEIR MAN FROM HARM ETC, ALSO FINANCIALLY) AND IF YOU DONT HAVE SELF CONFIDENCE, HOW CAN YOU EXPECT THEM TO BELIVE THAT YOU CAN ALSO PROTECT THEM?

      MOST WOMEN ARE NOT SHALLOW, THEY DONT LOOK FOR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE, THEY TEND TO LOOK MORE FOR MEN WHO HAVE SELF CONFIDENCE (FOR PROTTECTION PURPOSES).

      (SORRY CAPS LOCK, MY COMPUTER LOL)

    9. ddarpen profile image59
      ddarpenposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      You alone can solve it!
      the first is great intentions, remember that your self a man and always remember as well as men are not supposed to like it. talking to yourself. yes, it's all psychological problems. I am sure over time you can be a great confidence!

  2. Wonder_Woman profile image60
    Wonder_Womanposted 7 years ago

    What made you so shy with women?

    1. akrami profile image77
      akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I don’t know this but I simply can’t have eye-to-eye contact even for five seconds.  I have very much desire to talk with women and to have friend ship but I can’t do so.  Although, I can talk and chat with any woman online for hours, however, I am not able to do so physically. But can’t tell why so?

      1. Wonder_Woman profile image60
        Wonder_Womanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Well its easy online bc you do it from the comfort of you own home, where women can express what they really feel unlike when you see them face to face 50% of what they feel is expressed in physical expressions which most men cant understand. You shouldn’t be so shy or fear rejection. Just bring up casual conversation. Believe it or not but most people enjoy a good conversation with a stranger (well I do), and if you made an impression they might give you their contact info. Just be yourself, don’t be shy to show someone who you are and what you are about, even if its quirky.

        1. Stevennix2001 profile image82
          Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

          yeah i agree with that advice a 100 percent.  i think the reason why its also so easy to talk to someone online because there's a certain amount anonymity to it.  plus, you can take your time thinking about what your going to say online, which helps too.

      2. profile image0
        ralwusposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Maybe because you get a hard on huh? I was like that once. Well follow  A Texan's advice then find a live partner.

  3. profile image0
    ralwusposted 7 years ago

    we had another guy here, accofranco that started this way. LOL Look him up, he took all of our advice and is now a happy man. He is still here.

    1. Lisa HW profile image82
      Lisa HWposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I forgot about Accofranco, and I just looked for him.  It looks to me like he's gone.

      1. profile image0
        ralwusposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        He's still here, he is busy now with sex. smile

  4. profile image0
    L. Andrew Marrposted 7 years ago

    Throw youself into the deepend.

    It'll be uncomfortable at first but soon you'll gain confidence and charisma is the key to any social relationship.

    Luke.

  5. myownworld profile image82
    myownworldposted 7 years ago

    well, don't take this personally but u need to do something about that cap first! smile
    (yes, we ARE that shallow....)

    1. akrami profile image77
      akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      What's wrong with the Cap?

  6. profile image0
    A Texanposted 7 years ago

    Get a blow up doll

    1. myownworld profile image82
      myownworldposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      big_smile for starters yes!

    2. profile image0
      sneakorocksolidposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      TEX!

      1. profile image0
        A Texanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        What?????

  7. profile image0
    sneakorocksolidposted 7 years ago

    Yikes!
    1. get sex out of the picture, for a while
    2. start talking with the women you know(not about sex)
    3. develop casual friendships
    4. don't fear rejection, it's normal
    5. think about a more neutral fashion of dress
    6. Be yourself, be kind and patient
    7. ask for a date with someone you know, don't be discouraged
    8. once on a date don't jump her, don't do anything just have fun
    9. develop a sincere fun friendship first do fun things together play minigolf, go to plays, ride go-karts show her your a fun guy and it's safe and fun to be with you.
    10. Remember sex is a quatum leap in a relationship it takes time and patients, especially with a good woman.

    1. myownworld profile image82
      myownworldposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      smile ah......always your man....! good advice!

      1. akrami profile image77
        akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this
    2. video lost profile image60
      video lostposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      These are prescribed foot steps of the devil.

      Qur'an, Ch 24-Light, V 21. O ye who believe! follow not Satan's footsteps: if any will follow the footsteps of Satan, he will (but) command what is shameful and wrong: and were it not for the grace and mercy of Allah on you, not one of you would ever have been pure: but Allah doth purify whom He pleases: and Allah is One Who hears and knows (all things).

      1. akrami profile image77
        akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Thank you for your good suggestions. I will follow it, as I am a Muslim.

        1. profile image0
          bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          Try to find a Muslim whore then...

          1. Wonder_Woman profile image60
            Wonder_Womanposted 7 years ago in reply to this
            1. profile image0
              bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago in reply to this

              I'm glad to see that someone does..

        2. Lee Boolean profile image59
          Lee Booleanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          be sure to let us know how that works out for you

          1. akrami profile image77
            akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            Ok, Never mind I will inform you later.

  8. profile image0
    ralwusposted 7 years ago

    Go read this and see if it helps. This was accofranco's start to wellness smile
    http://hubpages.com/forum/topic/12895

  9. myownworld profile image82
    myownworldposted 7 years ago

    and a reminder again: we like to see some hair!!! smile
    (on the head that is!!! now please guys...don't start!)

  10. profile image0
    Maximus591posted 7 years ago

    The guy might well be muslim.  His appearance and dressed code leads one to believe that.  smile

    He will have been indoctrinated to believe females are a certain way. Perhaps he will also need to fight through his indoctrination before he can work on the practical methods for finding a female.

  11. myownworld profile image82
    myownworldposted 7 years ago

    well there u have it.....if it's all mixed up with religious taboos...then u might as well sort that out first....

    1. profile image0
      A Texanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      or beat it like your mad at it...just saying

    2. profile image0
      bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I was cured by a voodoo high priestess

  12. profile image0
    Poppa Bluesposted 7 years ago

    Yeah, well women can be scary creatures! LOL!  Best way to get over a fear is to over expose your self to that which you fear. Thrust yourself into the company of women, surround yourself with them. Go where they go, do what they do,, learn what they like and what they dislike. I think you'll find that women are beautiful creatures especially if you get the chance to hold one in a warm embrace and trail kisses down her neck and shoulders, pausing lightly on her lips, lost in her gaze and inhaling the scent of her, feeling her heartbeat against your chest and the warmth of her and the electricity of her touch as your whole body is transformed in arousal!

    1. myownworld profile image82
      myownworldposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      voohoooo! easy man....this guy hasn't had sex in years (or ever!).....and am sure even this post would have well...u know...done him in! wink

      1. profile image0
        Poppa Bluesposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Well it's good to have something to shoot for don't ya think?

        1. myownworld profile image82
          myownworldposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          I have to give u credit for that description though....nice....!

          1. profile image0
            Poppa Bluesposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            Well thank you! I try. My hubs are erotic poetry but I have also published some short stories in erotica.

    2. Paradise7 profile image86
      Paradise7posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      You're terrific, Poppa Blues...

      Maybe if you're really woman-shy it might help to seek therapy.  There are many therapists who are women, and if you find you can talk with one about personal subjects in a professional setting, then you might be able to use those insights to improve your social life with women.  You'll find out--women are people, just like men, only a whole lot better looking.

  13. Francis911 profile image60
    Francis911posted 7 years ago

    approach them.
    just tell them the truth.
    For example, myownworld and wonder_ woman are pretty.

    1. myownworld profile image82
      myownworldposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      hey...now that's sweet....! thank you smile...but u have a point there...women love compliments! (with taste. i.e.)

      (blues, will be checking that out soon!)

      1. profile image0
        bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        The three things that women look for are:

        Respect
        Humor
        compliments

        Treat them right, make them laugh and let them know that they are the most important person in the room.  Do that, and you're off to a good start.

        1. myownworld profile image82
          myownworldposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          ah...blood...trust u to say the right thing....! (now charming as u are, please do something about that face..!) lol...doesn't help with fantasy u know...! wink

          1. profile image0
            bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            I'll try to find another pic of myself!  That was from Halloween a few years back...

            1. myownworld profile image82
              myownworldposted 7 years ago in reply to this

              lol....no keep it....just...well..u know....if one closes one's eyes...one wants to imagine a slightly less bloody face...besides, I kinda got used to the skull! wink

              1. profile image0
                bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                I'll do something for you.

                1. myownworld profile image82
                  myownworldposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                  lol...I was only joking. don't change anything about yourself. the face grows on me anyway! smile

                  1. profile image0
                    bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                    How about this one?

  14. profile image0
    bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago

    I'm not sure about wonder_woman, but myownworld is goregous

  15. manlypoetryman profile image70
    manlypoetrymanposted 7 years ago

    uuhh...I'm at loss for words hmm Got'ta respect your honesty though...

  16. myownworld profile image82
    myownworldposted 7 years ago

    ooh....that's um...charming...! (((shivers)))

  17. shamelabboush profile image70
    shamelabboushposted 7 years ago

    Hook them up man! man up!!! They don't bite!!!!!!

  18. profile image0
    bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago

    That's whenI had my eye hanging out and had a blood pump in my  slit throat

    1. myownworld profile image82
      myownworldposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      ok...that should do perfectly when and if I need to close my eyes and imagine someone other than my husband... (poor him!)...would send at least one of us over the edge im sure...! wink

      1. profile image0
        bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I'm sure it would!

  19. profile image0
    ralwusposted 7 years ago

    go clean yerself up bldnlatex. you are a sight.

    1. profile image0
      bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I come by the name honestly

  20. myownworld profile image82
    myownworldposted 7 years ago

    lol...we do have a habit of hijacking a thread....! this guy wanted advice..not real life drama!

    1. profile image0
      bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I gave him some great advice....  While hijacking the thread

  21. myownworld profile image82
    myownworldposted 7 years ago

    certainly did...and hey stick with the pic....it looks as if u're serenading someone..... (c'mon ral, i do like it!)

    1. profile image0
      bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      You got it!  It's a keeper...

  22. profile image0
    bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago

    That picture was actually taken at about 5 in the morning at a Denny's resturant

    1. myownworld profile image82
      myownworldposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      it's nice actually...really....looks almost vulnerable... like that dear skull I loved! smile

  23. profile image0
    bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago

    You got it...I have to go to the labs, I'll be back later...

    1. myownworld profile image82
      myownworldposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      k, see you soon...!

  24. myownworld profile image82
    myownworldposted 7 years ago

    and so akrami, there u are... a live demo...that's how u make friends!
    (best of luck with everything!)

    1. akrami profile image77
      akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      My dear myownworld will you please explain it to me? I am not getting you properly what do you mean by “a live demo...that's how u make friends!”.  I will be grateful to you if you do so. Thanks

  25. profile image0
    reeltaulkposted 7 years ago

    I don't blame you....

    1. akrami profile image77
      akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Thanks you very much for that favour.

  26. creativeone59 profile image43
    creativeone59posted 7 years ago

    Dear friend, first and foremost, you need to realize that God man first; and he knew man would be lonely all by himself so he went back; took a rib from man and made women. God made women for man. being with and getting to know a women or just females period, is the natural thing to do. If you believe in prayer, you should pray about it and if you don't get answers, you should seek counseling because you could have an underline problem that's causing you to have this unfounded fear of females. You should relax take a few deep breaths and start a conversation going, with females. It doesn't have to nothing big, just start off with the little things; like speaking, talk about the weather or compliment her on something she's wearing to break the ice. There's nothing to fear but fear it self. Godspeed.     creativeone59

  27. fred hensel profile image60
    fred henselposted 7 years ago

    I suspect the problem stems from theway you have attached meaning in your mind to reaqltionship.The key is to change the meaning and the images in your neurology and you will then have a different result.I do this all the time with my clients and in one or two sessions they are free of their phobia.

    1. akrami profile image77
      akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      THank you sir,
      I will try to follow your advice.

  28. Pearldiver profile image87
    Pearldiverposted 7 years ago

    Are there any sock puppets on call out? smile

  29. profile image0
    Mewzikluvrposted 7 years ago

    Don't even begin to get rid of your fear by losing your virginity. That didn't work for my friend. She lost it three years ago and still cant look men in the eye. you should work on socializing with women and treating them as friends not sex objects. Try to become more comfortable around them and learn to accept them as your equal. Then you can move on to a more sexual relationshp. And a healthy one at that.

    1. akrami profile image77
      akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Thanks for the your good advice.  I have kept it in the list of the advices which i have received here, to consider on it.  LOL!

  30. Jesaira profile image60
    Jesairaposted 7 years ago

    hi shyboy! watch out for tips in my new hub soon wink

    1. akrami profile image77
      akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Thanks You dear jasaira,

  31. Lee Boolean profile image59
    Lee Booleanposted 7 years ago

    In many ways, women are people too.
    For some reason, when you are single and desperate, they smell it on you like a dog smells fear. The key is to relax and get comfortable with yourself first. Few things are as unattractive as insecurity in a man. The next is not to jump the gun, if you put too much pressure on a girl or yourself that it must lead to marriage it may very well scare them off.
    Another point is don't expect miss perfect to come knocking at your door, if you don't go places to meet people, you can't meet people. If you are uncomfortable going out, try some internet chatting or date sites, wherever you go, remember not to lay it on too thick and if you fail learn from it and try again. There are very many lonely people out there, eventually you will find the right one.

  32. profile image0
    poetlorraineposted 7 years ago

    This thread shows the kind heartedness of lots of hubbers.  Is this guy genuine

    1. video lost profile image60
      video lostposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      It's seems to be fake

      1. akrami profile image77
        akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Why do you doubts it I think, probably you have not heard about the term love-shy.  If you haven't, then i will suggest you to just goole it and you will get a lot of information on this topic.

        1. profile image0
          Maximus591posted 7 years ago in reply to this

          It sounds as if you have self esteem issues that are affecting how you view relationships.

          Love-shy, female-phobia... these terms you want to associate with are really quite meaningless. If it makes you feel better to think you have a 'condition' such as female-phobia, then it's easy to use your 'condition' as a way of not doing anything about it.

          Just work on your self esteem, then your condition - female phobia / love shy or whatever - will just melt away.

  33. profile image0
    poetlorraineposted 7 years ago

    when you have found love maybe you will smile, and let us see you looking happier o.k.

    1. akrami profile image77
      akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Thanks for your complements dearfriend,

  34. profile image0
    bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago

    Start by getting a whore.  You can work through your shyness with her.  Afterall, she doesn't care about having a relationship with you.  She might even feel sorry for you and give you a lot of tips and help you overcome your hangups.  Most of all, get a little stink on your hang low so you get that out of the picture.

  35. profile image0
    bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago

    Akrami, in retro spec to the spider comment, bring handcuffs with you to the whore!

    1. Mrvoodoo profile image60
      Mrvoodooposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      And lube, nipple clamps and a ball-gag.

      Gotta get your moneys worth. big_smile

      1. profile image0
        bloodnlatexposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Nothing cures shyness like nipple clamps and a ball gag.  I like the car battery and jumper cables on the clamps.

  36. lindagoffigan profile image61
    lindagoffiganposted 7 years ago

    You need to find activities that interest you especially something that you are good at.  It seems as though you have not truly found out what your own likes and dislikes are.  You need to be aware of what is important to you before you can even think of  becoming friends with anyone. 

    If you are have guy friends, hook up with them and have a face to face honest conversation about what they think of you as a person.  Think seriously about what your present friends say and start from there if you have no clue about your personality. 

    Girls are not comfortable if you are a loner.  You need to open up and get out more as one of the commenters said.  However, you need to build your self esteem before you add a girlfriend.

    1. akrami profile image77
      akramiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Thanks for your serious nd usefull advice.

  37. aware profile image69
    awareposted 7 years ago

    this sounds crass i know .but go for the ugly girl . you'll feel more at ease and less self conscious. and probably meet a really sweet girl .

  38. shazwellyn profile image84
    shazwellynposted 7 years ago

    I am suffering from female-phobia!... Don't worry, I'll tell God.  She'll make it better! hehehe

  39. beefsteakcharlies profile image60
    beefsteakcharliesposted 7 years ago

    to quote 40 year old virgin "youre putting the pussy on a pedestal" i.e. overthinking it and making it more than it needs to be. you need to be yourself, and i dont mean that in the cheesy film way used as bland advice, i mean you need to be with them the way you are with your friends, or the people you are comfortable around then if they like you they like you and theres no pressure to impress because youre just acting normally. nothing scary about that

  40. Joy56 profile image59
    Joy56posted 5 years ago

    this poor man, can anyone help him

  41. mdlawyer profile image60
    mdlawyerposted 5 years ago

    You may be uncomfortable with the modern ways.  There are many men who are uncomfortable with the "liberated" womanhood which in many cases run against a traditional family norm.

 
working