jump to last post 1-17 of 17 discussions (31 posts)

ever been hurt by a so-called "best friend"

  1. Mariana Luna profile image61
    Mariana Lunaposted 6 years ago

    well one day this guy i know he's all like "i love you your the best friend i could ever have" then out of the blue he begins to completely ignore me and it's so messed up because he is soo confusing he ignores me one day then the next he's all buddy bi=uddy what do i do?

    1. Jane@CM profile image59
      Jane@CMposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Well first of all, you've been a member for a whole 13 minutes, try writing a hub about it.  Its a writers site smile

      1. Mikel G Roberts profile image90
        Mikel G Robertsposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Hey sock puppets are people too!....tongue

    2. Krystal Blue profile image61
      Krystal Blueposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Was he under the influence? Is he bi-polar? Sounds like he may be young, if so, that's the problem, maybe he's being torn every which way. Until you know for sure, don't take anything he says seriously. Sit back and observe. Actions speak louder than words.

      1. Mariana Luna profile image61
        Mariana Lunaposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        no he's no druggy
        but its over between us now

    3. 0
      reeltaulkposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      tell him to beat it!  He's crazy

    4. 59
      Arisha Jonesposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      well mariana I could only think of one possible anwere in this situation for as I know how it feels and the great ans is - He is just not that into you.
      find some real nice friends who can really value your emotions and with whom you can spend good time.

    5. Robhastey profile image61
      Robhasteyposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Some people are just like that...just be you..and you will be happy:)

    6. Mikel G Roberts profile image90
      Mikel G Robertsposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      well I never called him my best friend, but I liked him and I called him friend.

      the hurt?

      As your title alludes, him and the ex...

      but it was good in a way, because I knew he would be good to my kids and he opened the doorway in my mind to the divorce that I had wanted since the second week of my 18 year/century long marriage.

  2. 0
    cosetteposted 6 years ago

    ask him to explain exactly what is going on and why he is acting that way, instead of wondering about it, because filling in the blanks with all sorts of erroneous assumptions isn't going to help you (or him).

    good luck.

  3. Anti-Valentine profile image95
    Anti-Valentineposted 6 years ago

    Many times. I stopped calling people "best friends" when I got in to my teens. I once heard from a wise stranger that you'll never have a best friend outside of your family.

    1. 0
      reeltaulkposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      I dont think that is true....family can be just a destructive as a stranger

    2. KikiDee profile image60
      KikiDeeposted 6 years ago in reply to this


    3. Katharella profile image69
      Katharellaposted 6 years ago

      I really have to agree/disagree smile with you on this Anti-Valentine. I have no family, well, I guess some blood relatives, but none who are there for me. I have had friends know me for a short time and we click like sisters should. But the part I really agree with is STOPPING USING THE TERM "Best Friends." I just wish it hadn't taken me this long to realize that.
      I have heard from a Vietnam Vet who asked me who was my best friend. My answer was my son. He said, yeah sure you love him, he loves you, but you are still wrong! Ok, so I ask him what then!? He replied a short profound, and very true reply.

      We are each our own best friend, and our own worst enemy.

      While I'm inclined to believe that is true, I wish it wasn't.
      My "so called" "best friend" of 25 years, was mad at me at my fathers funeral just days ago, and she took her anger out on me, and even displaying jealousy that other friend was there for me. It wasn't her fault her car broke down that day, but she was also upset, as she loved my dad too. She always said he was the father she wish she'd of had. But it was no reason for her to get upset because of my other friend who was there, and display jealousy, and slam the door in my face, drive off in a huff and not even to call or apologize for her childish behavior for over a week now. I had to write a hub about it, because as you say, it's just best to not use the term "best friends."

    4. 0
      Elise Moreauposted 6 years ago

      I had a friend randomly write a horrible note in her online journal, lashing out at everybody. She wished me (and my other friends) dead and said that we were all bitches, called most of us fat (she is super skinny and insecure), and ridiculed us to no end.

      When I confronted her, she shrugged it off and tried to pass it off as one of her "mood swings," then continued to ridicule the way I act, of course, in a more composed and slightly polite manner.

      I guess I can learn to forgive her within time, but I'd rather not socialize with her anymore and I haven't for the past couple of months since it happened.

    5. 0
      Crazdwriterposted 6 years ago

      Yep I have been the best friend who had been backstabbed by others. So I did what I did best, push them away and tell them that I can't be friends who are only going to use me.
      They aren't friends of mine anymore and I stay away from them too.

    6. caravalhophoto profile image60
      caravalhophotoposted 6 years ago

      So true...all my "best friends" are no longer in my life, I do not know where they live and havn't spoken to them in years.
      I have friends now, but find if I count only on myself, don't give advise and just smile with affirmatives...then my friends will be there, tell them the truth about anything...no more friends. I love my dog, he listens to me, doesn't talk back, always there and a great neck to hug while I cry and has better things to do rather than judge...he is truely my "Best Friend"

      1. 0
        reeltaulkposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        I never claimed a best friend, even if they claimed we were.  I knew too many people when I was growing up, and don't want to know too many now that I am older.  Best friends, friends as well as acquaintances are all the same.  No one is more important than the other because nine times out of ten they are either envious, nosy, two face or ready to stab you in the back and kill you if it were possible.  My immediate family is all that matters and is where my dedication and loyalty lies!

        Vonda G. Nelson

    7. Ivorwen profile image84
      Ivorwenposted 6 years ago

      Yep.  My best friend from grade school was only nice in private once we got to high school. 

      Since you 'best friend' is a guy friend, it be that he meant so much more by what he said, but doesn't know what to do with his feelings. 

      Before my husband and I were dating, he would say similar things, then not talk to me for a week or two.  He simply did not know how to handle himself and was not ready for a relationship.

    8. Dame Scribe profile image60
      Dame Scribeposted 6 years ago

      I have had friends who used me and my SO @ the time would turn around and point out that I'm way too trusting and please discontinue this particular friendship tongue lol. As for your problem well,somebody acted like that towards me, I would figure he's playing games and I have better things to do, ciao wink but that's me. big_smile

    9. Unspoken silver profile image60
      Unspoken silverposted 6 years ago

      Best friend + My Boyfriend = Bad new years eve.

      1. 59
        Arisha Jonesposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        dump both + move on = you'll soon be okay!!

        1. Mariana Luna profile image61
          Mariana Lunaposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          you are so right and that is what i did

    10. 0
      Smooth as Silkposted 6 years ago

      Friends will be there for you and others won't.  It's just that simple.

    11. bojanglesk8 profile image60
      bojanglesk8posted 6 years ago

      I don't have any fwends... *sad face*

      1. 0
        Smooth as Silkposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        No friends huh?  Why not?

    12. lola oyedotun profile image77
      lola oyedotunposted 6 years ago

      I had this so called close friend that was a sell out instead of been a friend. every single thing i told her was heard by others, i didnt realise until it was too late

    13. 59
      The Individualsposted 6 years ago

      Ive never been hurt by a so called best friend! But i have been the one who did the hurting. I decided i wasnt worthing after what i had done to be her best friend anymore so i fazed out our friendship and we now rarely talk.

    14. marcel285 profile image83
      marcel285posted 6 years ago

      Mariana Luna, Your issue sounds very similar to that of one with my sister. My sister met her best friend, Johny, when she was going out with her ex, whom is also best friends with Johny.

      My sister became infatuated with Johny, when she met him, and still is, about 10 months after breaking up with her bf, because she wanted to be with Johny. Johny indicated that he fancied her too, but said they couldn't be together for a while, because my sisters bf/ex, Alfie, is Johny's other best friend.

      So my sister has broken up with Alfie, and the dust has settled, my sister and Alfie are now good friends, and love each other like brother and sister. But since, Johny has kind of gone off her, yet his behavior is very strange..

      Sometimes, when they are partying, Johny will follow her around, running up to her, kissing her, and running away. My sister put her foot down about it, and said, 'you can't do that, if you want to be with me you can, if you don't, then you can't do that again.' Johny said to that, 'Well i can't promise it won't happen again.' My sister says, 'well you have to, unless you want to be with me.' And he just says he can't be with her, but can't promise that he wont try come on to her again.

      My sister is pretty young, 19, but she's no dummy, she's at uni, studying to become an accountant, so obviously she's fairly intelligent..

      I have told her that he doesn't sound like much of a best friend to me, and that she could do without 'friends' like that, but she won't listen and she doesn't know what to do about it.

      She's clearly not willing to let him go from her life just yet, she's just says to me 'BUT he's my best frieeend!!, I love him, he makes me happy, i enjoy my time with him.'..'but what do i do about Johny's behavior?'

      Well, if she's not willing to let him go from her life, I'm buggered if i know.

    15. 59
      rialeeposted 6 years ago

      I currently have a "friendship" with a man who says we are very, very close friends and that I know him better than his own Dad. BUT we live a distance of about 500 km/ 800 miles apart so we cannot have face-to-face or even turn it into an intimate relationship. However, we txt, email, phone chat and msn everyday. This happens more than once /day and sometimes simultaneously. We laugh and talk about taboo subjects, we are connected as far as knowing when the other is sick or feeling blue OR even when something good happens. We spent a whole weekend together but didn't have sex (at the time he though he was in a relationship which he later found out she had moved on and he didn't know it).
      Anyway, we are supposed to be just friends. I love everything bout this guy. This situation hurts.
      The rest of my life is pretty good its just this part.

    16. marcel285 profile image83
      marcel285posted 6 years ago

      That is not that far. If you really want it, get in your car and go get it.

      1. 59
        rialeeposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Never assume! I don't have a car AND he says we are just very, very good friends.