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Suggestions please...

  1. 60
    rialeeposted 6 years ago

    I have a crazy long distance affair... can't call it a relationship...but I need some advice/suggestions/thought on the issue.
    He and I met and had (his words) "Instantaneous Connection". He was in a relationship at the time. We had a weekend away together but nothing more than friendship happened because in between the first meeting and the trip I had been told his relationship was over. BUT He did NOT know this yet as she had not ended it. A real messy ending and badly done by her. BTW I know them both.
    So every time he would complain to me about her not answering his calls or responding to his texts I tried to let him know what had been happening but it was not my place to tell him. Finally, one night she posted something horrid in a chat room and so I merely, cut and pasted it to him. Horrible but atleast now he knew. She finally admitted it and I had to confess that I had known all along.
    He is a very forgiving person and he has told me nothing has changed between us, he understands my position totally. He even said he felt sorry that I had to agonise over this whole sorid scene. We are even closer now.
    Then we met again and we went out dancing but he was still so hurt over the way things had unfolded that we just had a nice night and lovely conversation. His regret was that I live 7 hours by car away from him. He said he didn't want a long distance relationship because the last two ended badly. He loves the way we connect and I am (to him) the nicest person he has ever met. He wants the relationship to just keep "moving along nicely".
    I know that if I was to go visit him we would figure out if we were meant to be or if we should stay friends but he won't let me visit just yet. I think he's afraid that the friendship may end if I go visit. To be quiet honest if it ends it was going to end anyway. If it gets stronger it was going to anyway.
    My question is "What do others think??" Should I force the issue and tell him I am coming to visit, or should i just wait and see what he wants to do?

  2. livewithrichard profile image86
    livewithrichardposted 6 years ago

    You're beating a dead horse. There should be trust at the beginning of a relationship and not something you work up to.  The distance shouldn't matter, if it were meant to be you would both know it by now.

    1. caravalhophoto profile image60
      caravalhophotoposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Can't make it any more simple than that neutral

  3. 0
    lyricsingrayposted 6 years ago

    I agree with live and  maybe just hub it your almost finished here big_smile

  4. 0
    L. Andrew Marrposted 6 years ago

    I'm thinking I shouldn't read hubs this long at 3.20am...maybe in the morrow I shall advise =]

  5. Stimp profile image80
    Stimpposted 6 years ago

    The Ball is in his court.  He is really the one with the issues.  I really think he needs to make the next move, if any at all.  At least you know.