jump to last post 1-4 of 4 discussions (5 posts)

What is True Independency?

  1. 61
    Yopp25posted 6 years ago

    I seem to notice that Younger women are risng to the occasion of appreciating themselves and taking care of responsibilty. However, with the success that Younger Women are receiving their self-esteem has rosen more than it should and minds have become oblivious to good men. The age group that I am refering to are Women Ages 24-28. Before you go insane at the computer screen, remember I do credit you but your mind is still naive as to what Independent is. Dont get me wrong but i would just consider you all in denial, just for the fact that your single and loving it. I beleive to earn the title "Miss Independent" it must not be being single that your in love with but still being in love with yourself no matter how lonely you may be. Continuing to take care of responsibilties and living the good life but in the mindstate that a male partner would make things easier and much more enjoyable.I hate to hear the phrase that women set out to do great enough to rely on men for one thing yes most men are reliable including myself but wouldn't life be that much better if he was there to support  you in everything you do. Women can do bad all by themselves is another qoute wha , but I can garauntee that that  there is someone that can help delete 50% of all the bad things financially with no problem. And delete the other other 50% of the bad things through intamately .So to conclude my dogmatic article I would like to make a small cliche."Men and Women can do bad toghether, but the love between the two can make good times last forever"

    1. Right On Time profile image80
      Right On Timeposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      In the words of the Dalai Lama:

      "Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other."

      True independency is as stated above, about love rather than need.

  2. Lisa HW profile image82
    Lisa HWposted 6 years ago

    True independence is when a woman doesn't need to be in a relationship, and when she chooses to be in one.  It makes for a better relationship when both people are whole, and neither person is needy in any way.  In general, women today (including those in the age range you've focused on) are not opposed to being in a relationship.  They just want to be independent enough to know they can walk away if it turns out they want to.

    A lot (not all) know that they can be happier with no relationship than they would be in the wrong relationship.  Independence gives them the option of being much more selective about who they get in a relationship with (if they want to be selective).  To women with the right priorities, all the money in the world is not enough to make being in an unwanted relationship worth it.  They're not "in love with themselves".  They're aiming to protect themselves, survive, and assure themselves the future they want - not the future someone else thinks will make them happy.  They're not "in denial", and they're not "naive".  They're smart.  (Besides, much of the time having a partner just makes things more work and more of a problem.)

    Again, though, most people (including independent women) would like to have a nice relationship with the right person.  They just want to make sure they find the right person, and their standards for what "right relationship" is are higher.

  3. Rangerwife profile image60
    Rangerwifeposted 6 years ago

    I am a 26 year old college educated woman.  I decided to get married and have children because in my independence, I found a man worth my while.  I guess the real question is, why do young women feel the need to be independent instead of relying on a man?  Easy answer, most men just break their hearts and can't support them anyway.  Why put yourself in a bad situation when you can take care of yourself?  And no, having a man doesn't solve all problems.  I still work, even though I have two children, and we still have tons of debt.  Being married is a lot harder than being single.  Getting married is not an easy way out.  And it's only worthwhile if you find a true gentleman who is worth your love.  Most men haven't proven themselves, and they aren't worth my time or consideration.  If I hadn't met my husband, I would have gone to law school and become a lawyer.  And I'd be much more happy and successful than if I had a useless unfaithful man.

  4. u b k profile image61
    u b kposted 5 years ago

    From my perspective, being 'independent' and being 'in a committed relationship' are not mutually exclusive realities.

    And if you really want to cut to the bone, nobody is truly independent, we all need and rely on other humans beings all day every day.  The people who pave the roads, farm the food, stock the shelves, run the business(es) that provide your income... where would you be without all the other people who's life and work touches you in ways we don't normally acknowledge or pay tribute to.

    So in that sense, independence is not only overrated, it's illusory.  You might be single, and you might live an extremely contented and fulfilling life.  But we all need people, it's simply a question of how connected we stay to our essence in the midst of all the give and take that is everyday life.

    I say it's okay to need people, to feel that need down to your very core and to devote yourself completely to the nurturing of healthy, soul-satisfying relationships of every size, shape, and color.  There is safety in vulnerability, there is strength in dependence. 

    Learn your boundaries, keep your needs in balance, and give all you can give.