Do you know what happen to the relationship? Do you have all the facts?
If so, was any of it from dishonest action on your part? If not, then do not wallow in self-pity and move on. If you didn't cause the broken heart, then absorb what there is to learn by examining the relationship as a whole and move on with what you learned.
Time effects all things, but to accelerate the process, self-realize, that it is going to happen from time to time, but you can't let it stop you from continuing to look for what you want in a mate.
it is hard, I have been through it, many years and I still loved him, but I finally think about myself first, I kept all the memoris in my heart, now I remember the man, but I dont remember the feelings anymore, you will get there,
And, eventually you will get to the point where you are going: "you fool, you gave up allll this, and you ain't none of THAT." Then, you will sit back and smile and revel in your beauty. oh ya, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh.....
Time will heal - but will heal faster if you stretch yourself out of your comfort zones. Take some class you always wanted to take. Join a club, get busy finding things you enjoy doing. Learn to love yourself so much that you can handle life alone, not that you have to remain alone, but to "NOT become a needy person to some new special someone."
Think about the Four Levels Of Love. I wrote a hub about just that!
A broken heart is'nt something that goes away over night,it takes time and strength. Try to envolve yourself in things thats beneficial to you and uplifting. If you own anything that belong any thing that belongs to that person, try having an yard sale,or just get rid of it. The people that you met when with that person try to distance yourself,slowly. Hanging around them is only going to make things worse. And give yourself time to heal,never try to replace that person on the rebound with some one else, it always goes wrong and makes you feel a lot worse. And least but not last get a hobby. Things will come together before you know it. I wish you luck on this and im so sorry for what you're going through,but self pity is'nt the way to go.
you're welcome. i know it hurts but you know, a funny thing happens after you emerge from the cloud of heartbreak...you start to see the person for how he really is and then you start to go 'what was i thinking?'.
to help you through it, stay very busy. time will fly by and you will feel a little better every day, i promise.
Seriously, there's no better excuse than to break out of your shell. Life in a comfort zone is boring. Get out, hell if you can afford it go travel.
Whatever you do DO NOT DO NOTHING. That's a recipe for a long, painful, lonely spell.
Join a book club. Go to bars/clubs with friends. Join a recreational sports team. Go to concerts. Find an interest group of people with similar interests. Go hang out at the park. Get on the public transit system and talk to random people (its odd at first, but once you get used to it it really isn't that weird). Learn how to dance (for whatever style you've always wanted). Learn how to xxxxx (something you've always wanted to do - DJ, write, play bass guitar, fight, knit or weave, etc) and join a club so you meet people with similar interests.
P.S. Get off the internet, go do something right now!
Hobbies. You will heal over time, but in the mean time don't sit around and wallow. Get out, be social. Not only will it help you busy yourself, but it will help you meet new friends (and possibly a replacement).
Time will heal it. To help it along, don't isolate. Go out with friends, family. Talk with others about how you feel. Reach out, like you have here. You'll be surprised how many of us will be here for you. Make a journal for yourself. In it, write one positive thing in your day. Then, do one thing that is solely for you. Look after yourself and your heart will heal. *hugs*
i wish i knew how to answer that, but unfortunately, I don't know. i wish i knew what to tell you. however, i will say this. don't try to block out your pain like i did when i got my heart broken a few times. it only makes it worse, and you die a bit on the inside. so much that your incapable of feeling love again. once that happens its really hard to get it back.
yeah, you do. just don't block out what happened, and you'll be fine. i know its hard now, but you'll get over him. my advice to you is to take things slow with your next relationship. don't rush into anything since your probably in a very emotional state, and its easy for people to take advantage of you like that. just take things slow with your next relationship and you'll be fine.
Everyone else has a good point, don't block out the feelings. Let them flow when they come (but when you're in a social setting do it in private, you'll get support at first and annoyance next). Look at the bright side, you are no longer trapped in a failing relationship with a person who doesn't appreciate you or treat you really well. You deserve better than that, everyone does.
well if you read what i said, i was trying to tell the person NOT to make that same mistake, otherwise you end up like me. my problem is in real life people think im a huge moron and rarely listen to a word i say, so i just keep quiet all the time about my problems. this is another reason, why i think its important for everyone to have friends or family they can confine in.
Yup, I was agreeing with what you said. I didn't explain that real clear, sorry.
If people in real life think you are a moron, you need new people in your real life. Easier said than done, I know. I'm working on that myself. The area I live in is hit real hard by the economy. Most of the friends I made here either took my ex's side in the divorce, or got layed off and moved away. It is really hard to get out and find a whole new crowd.
I don't know you in "real life" but you are sure as hell not a moron
Aaaah, but the misunderstanding has not yet ended...
I am wyanjen: Jen, from Wyandotte. I should have picked a better name or a prettier mug shot. People in real life mistake me for a man too, I can only laugh I was even mistaken for a black man on-line once. That was kinda cool!!! lol So we can trade stories and advice from both points of view.
I'm never offended by HOLMES Seriously, I am a tomboy. People say sir to me A LOT True story: When I go to my Subway at lunch, they call me ma'am. When I go after work, in my uniform hoodie, they call me sir. Same people, and I only order one specific sammich. Go figure, right?
I can top the Subway story but it may be TMI - Too Much Info... I was not overweight but I had a... large... endowment shall we say. So I had a reduction surgery. Went out, bought myself some new bras (happiest day of my life) and the very next day a store clerk called me Sir.
Alrighty! I'm glad. Look, I got knocked right on my butt after 14 years of marriage. You mention you like to be alone? Me too. But make an effort. If you get hermity, you'll not notice when you start having problems from not going out.
You'll be OK, just remember that you will be happy again.
I'm not a social being when I'm sad either HOWEVER I do have my pets around me that make me laugh every day of the week. They truly do understand our angst. I couldn't have lived through many of my past years without my faithful companions with me. My profile pic is one of my longest living faithful companions. He was 17 years old when he passed this past March and I miss him tremendously. But now I've got my ADHD American Eskie and he is a laugh a minute. He has helped me get through some tough days without Stimp being here....
Why just today, he grabbed a muckluck boot of mine, which is bigger than him, started running through the house. It was covering his eyes as he ran so he was running into the trash can, the walls (his head was well protected by the thick fleece of the boot), etc. It was so funny, I just couldn't take it away from him. then, later he comes pealing through the house with a roll of toilet paper...not sure where that came from....but whatever. We had to grab that cuz it was our last roll...and we've just had 9" of snow dumped on us...so, we'll be needin' it.
Anyway, are you smiling yet?? If so, then my job is done.
I'm glad. Look at my stuff for more fun filled adventures with the ADHD puppy (Timmy). He keeps me in stitches. I taught him "do the cute" tonight. That is him laying on his back with his paws over his eyes and his mouth open. All I have to say is "ooooohhhh, you are soooo cute." and then, "do the cute" and he'll step right into "cute" pose. Stimp and I shared a "cute" pose and I've missed that till tonight....when Timmy showed me his "cute pose" tonight. Everything happens for a reason....you may not see it now, but you have to keep saying "in two weeks, it'll be better and I'll be two steps closer to knowing why." and I think in a year, you will see that "it" all happened for a very very good reason. Stimp stepped aside so Timmy could have a good mommy and a good home. I also lost my cat of 15 years almost 6 mos to the day that Stimp passed. Why? because he grew up with Stimp and couldn't stand to be away from him so basically shut down when he realized his pal wasn't coming back. That made room for Christopher. My fluffy white pershian kitten that I've always longed for all of my life. It sucked at the time, and it still does upon reflection BUT these babies may not be having their FIRST holiday season if it weren't for the selfless acts of Stimp and his cat buddy Sam and thier stepping aside to make room for them.
People, animals, and beings are brought into our lives for a reason....it may be temporary or permanent. However, once that lesson we are supposed to learn from that experience is done....it's time for them to go. Look at the situation and really see what you've learned and take joy in that. You are one step closer to "home" when you realize what lessons are to be learned from those who have touched you.
I more than likely will not touch you with more than my stories and my note here, however, hopefully, you can look at it and go "ya, Stimp was here to show me this" and let it go if we never correspond again. same with friends, family and aquaintences.
I hope this helps. It sucks to hurt....believe me, I've been divorced 2x and have dealt with alot of hurt this year with the loss of 4 of my companion animals. It sucks ass....but you endure, you learn and you take those experiences with you to teach others.
Believe me, I don't totally agree with this, but my three suite-mates in college kidnapped me one night and took me to a strip joint to cheer me up (for my birthday). They paid for everything and meant well as I was still having a tough time getting over my girlfriend of 2 years. I did my best to "pretend" I had a good time
How to mend a broken heart? There are so many levels of broken heart but time DOES heal all wounds - but also finding new avenues and venues to express yourself, be true to yourself and believing this happened for a reason - again on so many levels. We all get broken hearts along the way but there is some saying about the broken heart letting more things in - that is the truth. Healing is a process and never happens overnight or in a day - my 'sage' advice - I am old so I know things but doesn't make it any easier again - on any level.
This may sound harsh, but it's a harsh world and unfortunately puppy dogs and ice cream can't solve the world's problems. So here you go. Don't look at losing him like it's a bad thing. Think of it as a gift. Instead of staying together and wasting your life with the wrong person, you have been set free to once again live life the way you want to. Meet people that you relate to, and that you like. The world is yours and is waiting for you grab it by the ass and have your way with it. I know that breaking up is hard, but the longer you bath in your self loathing, the harder it's gonna be to bounce back. You need to harden the fuck up, and move on. Don't worry about finding Mr. Perfect right away. Go out and have fun. Get back in touch with who you are and what you want out of life and get it. This is a gift. A gift that people trapped in bad realationships dream of.
Some things are meant to be, some are not. It probably doesn't help now, but in years to come, when you look back, you will see why the relationship would not have worked, and be infinitely grateful for having escaped.
Think and be positive, be optimistic. Sit down, think to yourself about everyhting you've got, don't take it for granted, appreciate what you have. Forgive and forget (sometimes this works), start afresh, go out there, be a tiger and get what you want! (All of the above worked for me).
ae, sweetie, come to realize that he is a total jerk not worth your tears or even for you to spit on. Get together with some of the girls and trash talk the guy. Then, after some time, forgive him for being such scum. Then forgive yourself for unwittingly getting yourself mixed up with scum. Then you won't feel so bad.
Force Happiness... Wake up in the morning...look in the mirror and tell yourself today will be a better day than yesterday (cry for 5 minutes if you need to cry). Then, get dressed, take a deep breathe and smile at every person you see. Eventually, your heart will mend.
Get a cup of hot chocolate, nestle into your robe and warm slippers! Turn on some relaxing music, music with no words...now get your jornal out. Start jornaling about how you feel, what new things have happened in your day.
Maybe you have some amazing things, that were revealed to your heart. Writing helps us to heal, and you may get some material to write about later:) Anyway, many blessing to you! Don't let anyone or anything get you down!
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