Do people really forgive? Does true forgiveness really exist or do people harbor their true feelings and pretend that they are sorry. As for me it is hard to say........whether you love them or if you have gotten over an incident. I don't think you can ever look at the person the same, especially if you had respect for them, trusted them or loved them! What is your take on this
Depends on how bad the transgression was. Cheating? Hmm, that's big. Forgetting an important day, maybe.....
i don't see how anyone can pretend to be sorry.
if i get mad at someone i don't just accept their apology - i have to wait until i'm not mad anymore, otherwise it's kind of pointless.
sometimes one or two people in life do something that you just can't or don't want to forgive. i think when you lose respect for someone you can't forgive them.
Extremely true!!!!!!!! once you lose respect for that person, they are so history, in more ways than one......but sometimes people pretend to accept an apology just to appease the other person.
Forgiveness does exist, but some situations I don't think anyone can be fully forgiven, or rather...the person who forgave still will have hesitation and know that the other is capable of whatever they did.
I think forgiving is possible, but forgetting may be impossible.
Not a bad thing though, I believe in keeping in the back of my head a subtle sense of awareness if that person did something hurtful. I'm not saying you act on it, or hold it against them, but it just makes you more observant and rightfully so.
i'm pretty flexible and easygoing but once or twice in my life people have done some pretty crappy things to me and have no remorse for it, or they did it again after i forgave them once, in which case i never want to see them again or have anything to do with them.
I think that if someone really does something to hurt you then you don't forgive them (or forget for that matter.) I think you can get over something and move on but you don't really forgive. I don't think it means u stop loving/trusting/respecting unless they hurt you repeatedly obviously.
i agree about repeat offenders.
i have heard people put it on the person who was faulted, making them seem at fault because they choose not to forgive, as if there is something wrong with THEM. maybe you just don't feel like forgiving them...why just 'forgive' someone if you don't feel it in your heart? forget they ever existed is my motto.
i knew this guy who said i reminded him of this girl who hurt him really badly and he had a lot of unresolved issues with her. so because i reminded him of her, he took it upon himself to deliberately hurt me. he said how wonderful i was and how incredible etc. yet he deliberately hurt me and i cried over it and started closing doors on him. then he begged me (several times) to forgive him, saying how sorry he was, how he was striking out at her and since she wasn't around and since i reminded him of her, he struck out at me and he said he was scum and he would die without me and it killed him that he fell in my eyes, so i gave him another chance and damned if he didn't do it again, so the next time, i shut the door in his face and he became a non-entity to me. any pleas on his part were ignored.
It depends on what is there to forgive.
I can forgive a mistake.
I can forgive a white lie.
I will never forgive someone who killed a beloved one.
I will never forgive someone hurting me on purpose.
Anyway, I never forget.
I will always be on guard about this person. Never trust him/her again
Yep, It's always easier to forgive than it is to forget. The key is to not hold anything in because when you do that you give the transgressor power over you. All future decisions will be measured against the previous transgression.
I have a friend that likes to say "this is your world and I'm just passing through." If you think about it, can there be a truer statement? Everyone has to walk their own path, some are lucky to not walk it alone, but the path is never straight. Every person we come in contact with somehow affects that path so in order to not get detracted you need to identify the destination. Allowing some past transgression to control your decisions will detract you from your destination.
No, I didn't steal that from Dr. Phil...lol
the weird thing is he still came after me trying to get me to forgive him again. what a dolt.
I'm getting older - there isn't that much time left in the world for me and I sure as heck ain't gonna spend it with idiots who hurt me. At this time in my life if you hurt me and you could have avoided doing it - you're outa my life. Forgiveness can go suck it!
wasn't it Lt. Uhura who said "Fool me once, shame on you, Fool me twice, shame on me". or was that Nurse Chapel
anyway here's a song that fits:
Unforgiven by Metallica
haha send them to Planet Unforgiven
Forgiveness is for me something I do for myself not for the person who has hurt me. I find that walking around angry and hurting because of what someone did to me at some point just causes me further pain. I grew up with abuse and had to forgive my abusers in order to heal, that big chip I had on my shoulders was doing me no good and was actually causing me more harm then the abuse itself had caused. Forgiving this sort of thing is not easy tho and at first what I did was to ask God (as I understand her) to forgive those who had hurt me so badly because I could not do it yet myself. I think that got me one step closer to being able to forgive my abuser for myself. I got one vague I am sorry once and I to this day am unsure what exactly it is they were sorry for but I don't forgive for their sake, I forgive for my own sake.
I hope that was understandable
Forgiveness comes with time and understanding. Sometimes it takes a while. Of course when you're wronged, it tends to affect your relationship because though you can forgive, you usually don't forget.
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