A lifelong introvert and abstract thinker, I have been fortunate enough to have been able to observe society and people without the influence of [the] mass acceptance of ideas, beliefs, and behaviors that most take at face value as "normal." With such being the case, in regards to oral sex, am I (seemingly) the only man in America who sees no difference between oral sex and a dog licking it's own behind? Am I (seemingly) the only man (or adult) in America who thinks that oral sex is a repulsive act?
I suppose that I should have expected such a narrow-minded and perverse response seeing as how (I repeat) most people cannot think past their own emotions or desire for pleasure. Sad that we in America cannot accept diversity of thought as well as cultures/ethnicity.
Oddly, YOU seem the one that is unaccepting. Of course you're probably NOT the only person that finds oral sex repulsive. That's certainly okay with me. You and your partner can do what ever makes you happy but don't try to impose you views on me and then claim I don't accept diversity!
With everything you said in your introduction to this topic I would've thought you'd take the approach on challenging those who disagree with oral sex; basically like minded individuals such as yourself.
When I was in the Army I remember certain rules like, "no 'doggystyle' (in lamen terms)" or "no kissing in uniform."
If you had a position of power in making, let's say a law, would you impliment that law on society like laws that already govern such practice? And if so (because I've asked this before), how would you oversee it?
I always get that response. My beliefs are always attributed to such a speculation; "Maybe you've had a bad experience," "Maybe you just haven't had it performed right," "Maybe YOU have sexual hang-ups," etc. Maybe I am just able to think past what everyone generally accepts as "normal behavior" (its a gift, trust me...it prevents blind conformity and encourages individual and critical thinking) without social influences. I mean let's be rational...everything we stick in our mouths is not food, and our mouths simply were not meant to be placed everywhere we like (personally, I can't stomach the idea of someone's ingesting someone's bodily fluids).
There you go. If you had actually tried it, you would realize how amazing it is. And for the record, that Oral Sex Guide I made has helped alot of people in their marriages. Believe it or not, sex is all you need to keep a marriage rolling.
No kidding. I get people all the time complaining over frustration, stress and all sorts of things. Their marriage is falling a part. I suggest sex 2 - 3 times a week and everything is fine after that. Sex is ALL you need.
If your sex life is not going good, having sex with different partners BUT TOGETHER (aka. swinging) is sometimes a solution. But it's not reccommended if you have an insanely jealous hubby. And touching yourself to get the sex rolling is definitely a yes.
No, I do not. but look at my pic? clearly my cat has romantic feelgins for my couch!! Im just kidding around. Really. I personaly think of kissing cuddling all that, with my husband or hubby or SO whatever, as intamicy, not sex. It is important, and personal, and I dont really want to share details of it with anyone. I am far far far from naive, and I did not mean to offend.
I said Im sorry, and I meant it. I can get carried away sometimes, and I forget not everyone has the same sense of humor as me. Im not sure how you can humiliate a comment, but if I humiliated YOU personally, I can only say I truly had no intention of that. My definition of sex is simply diffrent from yours. OK? I apologize sincerly.
You're fine. Nothing you said was offenisive, and if someone is that sensitive then they need to be offended. I honestly don't take a whole lot seriously, and I don't think a lot of the other people do either. That's why it is so much fun to hang out and be as goofy as you want.
You're amazing, you want to shoot down someone because they aren't into what you're into. If you re a freak.....so be it, if you are liberal, so be it as well. What are you trying to justify by going against what he believes and practices. Live your life as you wish regardless of what someone else thinks or does. This specific response shows exactly where you are coming from in more ways than one. I am gathering you are proud of your book because you have promoted oral sex in a "good" way, the best way to keep any marriage together.......oh please! Like that is all that it takes to keep a marriage going, as well as stable. U are looney indeed. I wish I could visit your office, you'll probably be paying me for a session
I'm not shooting anyone down. Think of it more as an.. advice. I accept people for who they are and what they believe in. I don't jude. I'm not allowed to judge. He's never tried oral sex. How the hell can you say it's disgusting if you've never even tried it? His first post was that people who engage in oral sex are the same as dogs who lick their asses. That's judging?
Read the whole forum before you post a reply, buddy.
And for the record, I take $320 for a session. I'm a damn good shrink.
Alright. You use sarcasm as a defense mechanism. You either have a very low self esteem, or one that's completely flying up the roof. You are obviously very bitter, and you are, like I said an obvious, text book example of a narcissist. Seriously, you push everyone away if you keep doing this.
And for the record, calling me a "doc" doesn't make you the smart ass you think you are, I am a psychiatrist so you were quite right about that one.
Oooooooh...I see it now. I just visited your page, and you have a posting entitled "The Ultimate Guide To Oral Sex." You CAN'T be objective in the discussion. You have a personal stake in defending your positions...I'm kicking myself for not having seen the obvious before now. Nice deflection though, labeling me narcissistic.
I demand you go to the local strip club, champagne room specifically and throw few hundred bucks it will change your entire conclusion about oral sex, and I am only mentioning the club because someone at home isn't doing a good job!
I think , really weather people enjoy oral sex or not is something that is none of anyone elses business and should be kept for the dating site for people to ask each other so they know weather or not they would enjoy the same things or not, but for hubpages , naw
Repulsive??? No way jose'. Oral sex is intimate and exciting and well hmmm......apparently not right for you. Just as I do not care for anal sex, many do. Don't knock oral sex just cause YOU don't like it. To me oral sex is the more special form of love you can share with another person. It is not like a dog who licks himself as part of a grooming ritual. Most humans use soap and water to bath themselves, not their tongue. I know when I make love to my husband with my mouth he is in total bliss, and I am saying to him that I love him and want to share this very personal/pleasurable experience with him. Just as when he licks and sucks on me he is showing me how much he wishes to please me. You do not have to like it or ever wana do it. God gave us free will to make these kind of decisions. Are you about the only guy who finds it distasteful??? Well I could say yep pretty much.
Although this discussion is hilariously entertaining, I'll answer your question to my best ability, Beyond-Politics. Your opinion is one several hold, though personally not by myself. I can certainly understand where you are coming from, why would someone want to put their mouth on something where urine comes out, or next to where we crap? If you think of it that way, then yes it is gross.
However, for me, I LOVE oral sex--giving and receiving. But, if the person is not clean, hygienic in anyway, then by no means am I going down there...or even letting them touch me sexually. But when both partners are clean and healthy, oral can be a great expression of feelings and pleasure. I think I enjoy giving because I know the person receiving is enjoying it immensely. I may not always be up for doing it, or it may be uncomfortable but I get joy out of his pleasure ... giving oral is more of a selfless act then one would think. Which may be another reason why so many couples are more than happy to give each other that stimulation.
I think that sex is a beautiful thing depending on your intentions for doing it. When You make love to someone that you truly love it shouldn't matter how you do it. It just matters what your willing to do to please your partner.
History is full of examples where the individual was right and the masses were wrong. I'm not saying that this is one of those times, but it IS something to consider (and the notion that "If it feels good we should do it" does not negate this fact). You'd be amazed at how much hell we can eliminate from our lives if we gave in to thinking more and our impulses less...just ask Tiger Woods.
So if you are repulsed by something don't do it! Just because you are repulsed by an act of intimacy, don't expect history to prove your feelings right or wrong. Being an introvert you may not understand the feelings associated with love. When you love someone, you actually want what is best for them. You have a strong desire to give them pleasure, and to bring them happiness. In times of intimacy, one usually isn't thinking about what repulses themselves, but one acts and reacts to the signals of their partner. Can one give pleasure to another without oral stimulation? Yes, I'm sure you can and if your lover loves you they would never expect you to do something to them that you find repulsive. What's right for you may not be right for someone else, this is simply a matter of taste (pardon the pun) or preference!
oog, too early to think about such things. anyway, BP, i think you've made your point and no one's going to listen, unless of course you start some sort of cult called CAOS (Church Against Oral Sex) or something.
I don't buy that at all! Cuturally we are exposed to what our society deems "acceptable" and we are influenced by that, but we all know what we like and don't like! Do you really think people that eat brocolli only eat it and like it because society tells them to? Then why doesn't everybody like it?
Not a joke. Believe it or not, not everyone allows himself/herself to be socialized in such a way as to embrace what the masses consider "normal" behavior. Some of us are simply more self-possessed than others.
I didn't read all the posts, but have to imagine why the question? I love oral sex when it is spoken correctly...can't say that i've always had stimulating conversation, but when speaking, it is for my pleasure and that of my partner, no other reason to partake if it wasn't. Do I find it repulsive? No...I'm guessing maybe you've had some lousy conversation or dirty mouths and that's why you don't care for it?...hummmmm
I have to assume that as you are so repulsed by oral sex that you have never tried it. If you have never tried it, how can you know that it is so repulsive? What is wrong with wanting to pleasure ourselves/others this way? It is all part of being human, experimentation.
Might I suggest that you get outside of your introversion and pay a prostitute (who doesn't know you from Adam - no pun intended - looking at earlier posts) for oral sex, then comment on it. You might be pleasantly surprized.
Do you masturbate? If so, do you think that is ok to do? Why? why not? You need to look deeper into yourself and find the reason (possibly an incident) that made you feel so repulsed by people pleasuring each other by performing oral sex.
I hope you find some resolution to your problem, you are missing out on so much.
I beleive that you and your partner are the only ones who matter when it comes to how you want to practice sex.
I tend to think that your repulsion of oral sex is actually not as uncommon as you may think. There are many men and women who do not practice it. Listen to the complaints from both sides. Some may say they are repulsed by it and others will say they dont want to do it and others will do nothing and just give it. If you talk to many friends and their spouses, I think you will find that it is not practiced as often as it seems to be popularized.
I think it is politically correct to give oral sex but i do disagree that it is uncommon not to give it.
With that said I think that often when we consider what we like or dont like, we dont take our partner into consideration. It is all about ourselves and not about our partner. This is the what often drives the sexual part of the relationship into the doldrums. I beleive that sex is not just a act. I beleive that it is spiritual and it is a way of expressing deep love.
I know that you are now saying what a load of bs. I am not chastising you and like I said it is betweent you and your partner.
As far as frequency of performing oral sex, you are not very far from the norm because most people dont go down as much as mainstream may seem to indicate.
You must be the second known person in America who can actually give himself a blowjob and even then you complain.Maybe U shud try doing the same thing on a woman or even a man if ur inclined in that direction rather than going down on urself.Am sure Ur views about oral sex shall change.Though all said and done my curiousity gets the better of me and thus I must ask how exactly do you manage to go down on urself and give urself head?
When I was part of the academic world I was constantly surprised by the inability most academitians (professors, researchers, and students alike) have to understand reality. They theorized, isolated, removed from reality, and made their conclussion. I was out there, in the field, inside the most complex situations that involve human suffering. Then, I would read the same books they read and the same research papers they write and read. However, I would always interpreted them differently. The difference was that I had a good dosage of reality influencing me. Don't just stay out there looking at reality as what "normal" people do. Be there and feel it from the inside. That will give a different perspective. You are trying to be academic about life!
Oral sex is a preference. If you do not like to do it or receive it then that's your right. Just understand the most women enjoy oral sex (especially the receiving end) so keep an open mind in your relationship.
True, but it seems that most people cannot think beyond their desire for physical pleasure OR their emotions...it seems if it were meant for us to engage in oral sex, our genitals would either be on our faces, or our mouths would be where our genitals would be (then again, I'm not a religious person, so such logic would imply the reality of a sentient Creator/God).
LOL. Typical Christian...I pose a simple HYPOTHETICAL question and you dance all around the answer, trying to avoid looking like a hypocrite. Let me ask again, since you think there is nothing wrong with oral sex, do you think Jesus would have engaged in oral sex IF he had a wife? Would anyone else like to answer the question please?
who cares? I personaly think IF he had a wife, whatever he did would have been his own business. What everyone does or doesnt do is thier choice. Its fine to announce you think pee pee's are yucky, but its silly to try and decide what type of private sex life a long dead guy maybe did or didn't have, and its also ridiculous to try and force peole to agree with you on such a perosonal topic.
Did I say I was a Christian? "Typical"? Do you refer to other groups of people that way? You posed a silly, pointless hypothetical that could not possibly be answered in a serious manner and then got all bent out of shape when it was treated as it merited? Come on now.
I'm guessing you don't feel it so repulsive when you are the receiver. You seem to be referring to just providing orally to a female. Don't be thinkin' your undercarriage is any more appealing than a woman's.
Some peoples genitals ARE on there faces.I know a guy with a Nose you wouldnt believe. Oral sex is indispensible and neccecery to express our selves sexualy,just the other day my buddy and I saw a super hot dame in a store,so we went right up to her and told her all the things we could DO for her,she of course called a cop which just shows to go you that oral sex can be dangerous as well. I cant believe that people are taking this post seriously...
And you were not meant to be able to see properly, so you shouldn't have those things on your face -- very silly logic. Unless of course you were being tongue in cheek, but then your tongue was never meant to be in your cheek
While I am sure we do not know why the creator decided to put a recreational facility right next to a waste disposal plant, it is an engineering and architectural trait followed and approved of by many municipalities.
Certainly there must be some reason, for besides installing the plumbing he also installed a sensory perception and distribution center of a highly evolved nature to convey communication on both sites and provided each with dual function.
So knowing this, then why start the thread by insulting the act and therefore the people who do it. You have your likes and dislikes like everyone else. I am not judging, just feel sorry for whoever you date.
If anything, you are proving me right...most people CANNOT think past their emotions or their desires. You don't have to feel sorry for whomever I "date;" If anything, I feel sorry for anyone who cannot open their minds to the possibility that THEIR perspective of reality may be wrong and another's perspective may be right. There is a quote that goes, "Hell is the impossibility of reason." I hope you have some form of absolution to liberate you from that hell.
What?!? Well you also need to do More research as there are a percentage of women who cannot climax through intercourse so that leaves oral or manual and therefore this being a Neccessary act. You say you agree with the "ragnaworks" that basically 'to each their own' yet you are saying for those who do they are discusting, etc.... you are contradicting yourself. No amount of quotes will prove your point. You don't like it fine I'm sure you will find someone who feels the same, sort of like finding a needle in a haystack!
Anything between two consenting, freshly showered adults is cool with me. I'm sure I'm in the minority of women, however, in that I'm not really into the receiving end - but I totally love giving. I think this traces back to when I was 16. I had an older boyfriend, but I wanted to keep my virginity. He taught me to do the other instead.
I'm sure some readers are thinking, "TMI!" I'm pretty much an open book. I don't generally start topics like this, but if I'm asked, I tell the truth. Sorry if I offended anyone. We are all adults here, aren't we?
I'm a Christian, and I'll answer the question: yes, he would. I see nothing sinful in oral sex. I believe God created the human body to be beautiful and enticing. Have you ever read much of Psalms? Some of them are pretty erotic.
Are you referring to me? I didn't label anyone, and I answered your hypothetical question.
I see nothing wrong with oral sex, but if someone doesn't enjoy it or finds it repulsive, I see nothing wrong with that, either. When it somes to sex, there's no such thing as "normal." Each to his/her own.
Please let me know if it's returned again, Charlie. Our internet carrier has just re-vamped the system, and I'm not sure it's working properly. I know I'm not getting all my emails through HP. Did you send it directly to me or through HP??
Thank you Reeltaulk. Its obvious that as a "doctor," he lacks the ability to think outside his own beliefs. While its true two consenting adults can agree to engage in oral sex, its simply not for everyone. Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to try everything to know if you "like it" or not...I haven't skydived, cliff-jumped, drag-raced, scuba-dived, or a host of other things...not because "I'm afraid I will like it," but because they don't interest me and its a safe be to say that I wont like them. "Don't knock it if you haven't tried it" is a weak simplistic justification for people who want others to see things the way THEY see them. Most Americans engage in behaviors that we know aren't good for us, but we do them anyway because we like them in the short-term and cannot think in the long-term past our emotions, feelings, or senses...we eat the wrong foods, do drugs, engage in reckless sports, etc., that dont hurt us immediately, but have long term effects...why is it beyond the realm of possibility that oral sex could be just another questionable behavior that we engage in that we like, but is not good for us?
of course you dont have to do everything that exists, i personaly know several people who feel the same as you. but its pointless to try and change someones mind, you wont change yours, they wont change theirs. oh yeah, sorry im sure you said it already, but why do you think its harmful?
I think you misunderstood slightly. I'm not saying that oral sex is harmful...my overall point was to get people to consider that maybe oral sex--a behavior that everyone seems to think as "normal"--could be considered yet another in a long line of behaviors and self-decisions that we make as adults that maybe we should question. We do a great many things...its just funny that we accept them at face value as "normal behavior" just because everyone see it that way. I've never been one to "go along to get along." Blind conformity without questioning merit is just as repulsive to me.
You are so right, people love to engage, but when it comes to dealing with the after math all hell breaks loose, or someone else has to get involved so that the burden wouldnt be so heavy. I know exactly what you are saying, people consider your mentality boring or corny, but when you don't experience the hardships that may experience they look at you like you think you are better than everybody else or that you think you are special......please get a grip!
Y'all really are getting too much into this. By the way, it's hard for people to argue against undocumented generalizations. I think someone should ask a doctor about whether or not oral sex is not good for people. Discuss it with a medical doctor. Some people will have more time than I to piss away arguing about this and they just might ask for some facts to back up all the generalizations. Me? I'd rather be writing hubs. So far though, none of the medical professionals I associate with say that <snipped - watch the adult language> will give you cancer. I'm also unclear how oral sex caused you hardships. Too much attention on this if you ask me . . . and you did.
Actually, I was watching the news a few weeks ago, and they were talking about how now more and more women are developing oral cancer. The reason for oral cancer is due to "oral" sex because of the virus HPV. So see there u have it, oral sex does cause cancer and women should be aware of any lesions in their mouths and if you should find any;immediately go to the doctor.
Quite possible. But then again, it WAS considered sodomy in the United States up until the last years of the last century, and therefore illegal. That being the case, it stands to reason that if it was illegal, everyone was not doing it.
Why don't we do one of those 'really tedious links'? You know, where you somehow manage to link two very random subjects or people.
I know ... why don't we make a link between Jesus and Oral Sex.
I'll make a start: Jesus is the son of God, God is the Creator of all things, things are random objects, an object can be something you possess, to possess someone is to thought of as jealous, zzzzzzzzzz ... I see we've already made the link.
The way I see it, life is a buffet, an all-you-can-eat buffet. Belly up to the bar and getcha some of everything you want, but don't worry about what everyone else is eating. There's no need to eat something you don't want to eat and don't worry if I eat my share of what you don't like.
Why was this question even asked? I can never understand people's curiousity about others' sexual behaviors! It's none of your business and a complete waste of time and I had to say it! the fact that you care what other people are doing sexually makes you kind of creepy, in my book!
50 minutes. And it's not so much compared to the service you're getting. You're getting someone to sit down with you, listen to your problem once - 3 times a week and getting advice from someone who has a degree in advicing people and has studied the human soul and all human behavior his whole career. I mean, it's a very low price to pay. But on the other hand, I wouldn't lower it... It paid for my kitchen and my Mercedes
I did know someone that tried it. I am not sure he should have been locked away for it, however (which he was, which is how I knew about it). I will never tell a friend of mine that I always confuse him for that guy, too (well, maybe I will -- it would be interesting to see his reaction)