Can we discuss anything with a best friend or a spouse?

1. 74

   Hauntyposted 14 years ago

   Do you think that we can discuss anything and everything with a close friend, a spouse or a parent? Or are there some things that you would never try to discuss?

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      prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      hi haunty I think that you can discuss anything to a person any topic you are comfortable with (trust with the person you are confiding to is needed specially if it is a sensitive issue)

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         AEvansposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I concur

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      Aya Katzposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      
      
      Any topic is a possible topic of discussion with someone, but not with everyone. You have to know the person well before you determine which topics will forever remain off limits in any relationship. It's not so much what you are uncomfortable with as what they will be unable to process. No point in overwhelming another person.

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      livewithrichardposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      I think there are limits no matter how much trust is in the relationship. Some topics you can discuss with a best friend that you probably shouldn't discuss with your spouse.  If you don't think so, let yourself get caught in the "how do I look in these jeans" discussion.

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         Hauntyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         lol I was talking about real discussions.

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            livewithrichardposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Philosophy, Religion, Politics, those kinds of discussions? Well in that case discuss away.

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               Hauntyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

               I meant discussions with an outcome. I could've been more specific. Sorry.
               
               I'm of the mind that philosophy, religion and politics are mostly discussed for pleasure or amusement.

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      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Any secrets kept breaks the 3 golden rules for a successful relationship, which are trust, honesty and communication. Secrets, betrays trust, proves to be dishonest, and clearly demonstrates a lack of communication.
      
      To believe that one can keep anything from anyone who is considered to be a friend, spouse or even parent, damages each one of those relationships. And does so, willingly.
      
      Which then begs to ask- What kind of person are they really?
      
      Just a thought.

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         Denno66posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Sometimes there are things that are kept from a loved one for their protection, odd as that may seem; the alternative could be potentially painful or worse.

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            Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Wrong.

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               Denno66posted 14 years agoin reply to this

               Are you married my friend?

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                  lyricsingrayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  

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                  Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

                  Don't need to be, to understand relationships on the deeper more intimate level. Love is suppose to be the basis for your relationship, if married. This means, trust - honesty and communication is required.
                  
                  If you say no, then you're understanding of Love is misperceived.
                  
                  Your friendship with another person, should be on the similar basis, mutual Love and understanding of one another.
                  
                  Again, if you say no, then you've obvious misunderstand the true meaning of friendship.
                  
                  So, again, you are wrong. But, thank you for your input, it is very valuable to getting to know you. Appreciate.

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                     Denno66posted 14 years agoin reply to this

                     Actually, in this case I believe it is I who has learned a great deal about you. Thank you.

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      2. 74

         Hauntyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         lol, I am an Earthling, a humanoid.

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      Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

      you can not discuss everything with one person. it would be nice, but it doesnt happen. everyone has thier own limits of what they can and cant handle.

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      EnglishRoseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      We should be able to discuss anything with our best friend or spouse, they should make us feel that whatever we tell them will not be judged or critisised and should not affect how they view or treat us, if you cnanot do that with them then the relationship isn't what you thought it was.

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2. 60

   maudine_05posted 14 years ago

   Hey Myth!!!
   yes < I agree, it depends on how you really trust or close to  the person and the seriousness of the discussion.

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      prettydarkhorseposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      hi guapa maudine how are you friend?

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         maudine_05posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         Im doing great...will you have roast pig for the new year?

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3. 60

   mpurcell10posted 14 years ago

   I think that depends on the relationship. I talk with my husband about everything except him. I tell him when he ticks me off but I don't go off about everything but when I get with one of my girlfriends I let it all out about him. This way we don't fight so much. Don't get me wrong I love to make up but 20 years and 8 kids and we work together, we have enough to fight about. We talk and try not to fight.

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4. 74

   Hauntyposted 14 years ago

   Thank you.
   
   I always tell what I think whereas sometimes it would be much better if I shut up before I uttered the words.
   
   Aya - Of course not. I think my question is a bit theoretical, because I was wondering if there could really be such a close relationship as would make it possible to discuss anything.
   
   mpurcell - Yes, you hit the nail on the head. lol It's about the other person. I like being the subject of discussion myself, but some people don't take it too well when it's about them.

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5. 94

   Dolores Monetposted 14 years ago

   Certain topics can be out of line with even the closest friend or a parent if you both have very strong opposing opinions. Some folks love to argue and discuss matters in disagreement. It can be great fun and really make you think. But it depends on the person. Certain people have a problem with you thinking that they are stupid idiots who listen to that jerk on the radio....

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      Hauntyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Ok. It's one eye open now. I'm still hoping though.

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6. 0

   lyricsingrayposted 14 years ago

   I think some of us share more with our best friends than our spouses.  There are just certain things a spouse doesn't need to know (like previous experiences) that could hurt him/her.  Some things best left unsaid.  A  best friend however,if they are truly that, will not judge you on anything you can tell them.

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      Hauntyposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks, Kim. That's certainly true. And smart.

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         lyricsingrayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         

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      lyricsingrayposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      

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         Denno66posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         We baffle you yet again?

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      Diskobolosposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      Shouldn't our spouses be our best friends?

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         Justine76posted 14 years agoin reply to this

         ha
         that would be nice. Idealy, yes. it doenst happen so much tho.

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         Chloe Comfortposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         I agree My spouse is and always has been my best friend. There isn't anything I can't discuss with him or tell him. He's the one person I can be completely open and honest with - even if he doesn't like what I'm saying. I've known him over 25 years and there isn't anything he doesn't know about me - including past experiences.
         
         So my answer is YES - you can discuss anything with either a friend, parent or spouse - just depends on the relationship you have with that person.

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            Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

            Well said.

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         Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

         They are suppose to be the one person you should be able to tell anything. Regardless of what it is about. Anything short, is contentment/settling, for what they have in a relationship, instead of looking for love. Some do it to survive, because they cannot survive on their own. They don't want to face the world or live alone, looking for love?
         
         Many claim to understand love, yet to also know there is no value to love? But, there is a spiritual value to love that is mistaken or overlooked.
         
         Just a thought.

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7. 0

   ralwusposted 14 years ago

   There are certain things, many actually that I cannot discuss with my spouse. She is opinionated, argumentative and downright arrogant at times. So I don't discuss many things with her.

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8. 0

   shinujohn2008posted 14 years ago

   Discussing every thing with your partner is xtremely important for a relationship. Avoid secrets and be straight with your spouse than with a best friend.

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9. 83

   Aya Katzposted 14 years ago

   Not being able to discuss everything with a friend, or a spouse or a parent is not necessarily about keeping secrets. It's about what the other is capable of processing. Let's say you are a physicist and are very troubled about an issue in quantum mechanics. Ideally, you should be able to discuss anything with your spouse. But let's say your spouse never graduated from high school and is not capable of understanding nor willing to listen to a discussion of a subject this abstract. Should you impose on your spouse? Or should you keep your troubling thoughts to yourself? Will it affect your level of intimacy with your spouse if the things that are uppermost in your mind cannot be shared? Yes, but it's not something that can really be helped.

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      Cagsilposted 14 years agoin reply to this

      This works when love is obtained, nothing less than it.
      
      If you cannot rant, rave or complain to your partner, so you can argue thru a problem, such as your example, then it is not love that hold the partnership together, nor is compassion? So, how this relationship would last longer than 6 months, would be impressive to say the least.
      
      When love is involved, compassion rules and she tries her best to help him work thru the problem, if he sees fit to include her for some odd reason. To anything less isn't love.
      Yes, it can, when love rules the relationship. Openness of oneself to the one you love, is the essence of spirituality for humans, so as they can feel right in the world. As screwed up as it is right now.
      
      If I offended you. It wasn't my intention. But, to explain what I understand love to be.

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    khmohsinposted 14 years ago

    No, because it is possible for the relations to break-up and if you have shared too many secrets then it can cause you harm in many ways. There is an old saying that "Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead!!"

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