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Staying single or getting married

  1. princess-sisi profile image61
    princess-sisiposted 7 years ago

    How does someone know if that person is the right one? Should one rush into marriage.

    1. sagbee profile image60
      sagbeeposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      One should never rush for marriage it is better to stay single.. big_smile If you get married means you will tie a knot with a shoppohlic and emotional torture bucket full of your credit cards bills.. tongue

      1. princess-sisi profile image61
        princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        okay

      2. Sean Leong profile image81
        Sean Leongposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Sagbee,

        I know what you mean exactly; I have been hurt before. There are lots of materialistic women out there.

        1. princess-sisi profile image61
          princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          I'm not but i dont want to be taken for granted either

      3. 60
        Holy Hunterposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Only get married once you know everything is right. I would recommend being with some one for 2-3 years atleast before getting married. This will give you the chance to see if they really are going to be good to you or just waste your time. Marriage is a very serious commitment, a bond that ties two people together, becoming one. Nake sure that this person will respect you and love you for you. Marrying someone will actually change that person you once new, if they are right they won't change in a bad way. Take things slow, if they rush it on you, be wary.

        1. Sab Oh profile image59
          Sab Ohposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          LOL That means never!

    2. mcacreate profile image60
      mcacreateposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      No, marriage should never be rushed into. As a matter of fact, if you have to even ask that question, then don't get married. I believe that if you really want someone, eventually you will find someone. If I did, then anyone can. I was in my late 30s and had no one, still living with my mom. Then I turned 40, 41,42, no one. Two years later, at 44, I found someone. We are not married and maybe we never will be. I want to, she doesn't but says she will stay with me forever. She's been married twice. But hurrying into a marriage, as I'm sure you have seen many times can be a disaster. I believe the divorce rate is so high because too many people rush into marriage. And find out later, sometimes much later it was the wrong person.

      1. princess-sisi profile image61
        princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        when will one know its the right person.

    3. 0
      Ghost32posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Why not?  It only took me six divorces and seven major relationships to find one that would stick!  lol

      Of course, Pam (#7) and I had a really solid reason for getting married after 9.5 years of not.  A nasty caseworker cut her disability payment for no good reason, insulted her, and generally more than implied Pam was some sort of welfare fraud.  So we got hitched in order to tell the Feds to take their money and go piss up a rope.

      Pretty solid basis for a till-death-do-us-part marriage, doncha think?

    4. JOE BARNETT profile image60
      JOE BARNETTposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      well no one can read the future but,checking out and getting to know his family will give you insight. after that. . . it's a gamble. good luck!

    5. vox vocis profile image92
      vox vocisposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      One should never rush into marriage but this doesn't mean one should never get married. Being single has its advantages but being married definitely helps spiritual growth. A lot of understanding, compromises and sacrifice are part of loving somebody. Some people just feel it when it's the right thing but most people are never sure about it. But, hey, no risk no profit - it's always been like that in all segments of life!

    6. AdsenseStrategies profile image72
      AdsenseStrategiesposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I take it this question is somewhat facetious on purpose. Why would anyone rush into any big decision if they really don't have to

    7. curlytree2009 profile image44
      curlytree2009posted 6 years ago in reply to this

      No. Marriage isn't always the answer for everything. If you feel that you have found that someone you really want to share your life with, then enjoy each other's company. The best things in life can be felt if you only know how to appreciate it. Do not rush things because the worst will surely come any time soon. smile Be careful.

    8. mkplcl profile image59
      mkplclposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Married people live longer...

  2. Misha profile image75
    Mishaposted 7 years ago

    If you have to ask, then the answer is no smile

    Happy New Year! smile

    1. TamCor profile image79
      TamCorposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Have to agree with Misha there...if you have to ask yourself whether it's right or not, then you'd better not get married yet!

      You can know someone for two months and know they are the one, or you can know them for two years, and "think" they are the one...if it's right, you know it, no doubts whatsoever! smile

      1. princess-sisi profile image61
        princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Thats true sometimes we just need reassurance. Happy New Years!

    2. princess-sisi profile image61
      princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Misha Hi! Happy New Years!!! LOL thanks for the answer

    3. The Rope profile image60
      The Ropeposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I definately agree with Misha!  But a good place to start is by quietly and alone think about each line in the modern traditional marriage vows (replace the word "obey" in the older version).  Are you willing to live up to and beyond each and every one of those lines?  Do you find that he is already living those vows?

  3. fishtiger58 profile image82
    fishtiger58posted 7 years ago

    Time is a great thing. Take some, a long dating period is best. You never truly know someone until you have spent some years with them. To many people rush into marriage and then divorce 2 or 3 years later. Being able to get a divorce easily should not be the reason to rush into marriage. If it's meant to be you will still be together years down the road of dating.

    1. princess-sisi profile image61
      princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Thank you so much now i know what to tell my friend

  4. 0
    incomenewsposted 7 years ago

    marriage should only be attempted by people who intend to be in it for life. If you not sure then don't do it.

    1. princess-sisi profile image61
      princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      My friend isreally going to enjoy this reponses.

  5. mr williams profile image82
    mr williamsposted 7 years ago

    Getting married is a test of faith. Knowing whether or not you will be able to remain faithful and restrain from any sexual urges that you may be having about other people, or if your life partner may be having the same problems. A man and woman should never marry unless it is certain that they have gotten rid of all of their immature desires to cheat on their partner. That's why marriage shouldn't be rushed into, because rushing into marriage doesn't allow you to go through this long but necessary process. I personally have never married, being that I have my whole life ahead of me as I am just getting into adulthood, but I feel I have a good understanding on this particular subject.

    1. 0
      Home Girlposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      if you follow advises from above, you'll NEVER GET MARRIED!!!
      It's the only thing that you cannot calculate by reason. May be should, but can't. IMP-P-POSSIBLE! Our emotions distort our gut feeling and we all get married for rather wrong reasons. Only some very lucky ones get it right. That's why we have way too many divorces and unhappy marriages.

      1. princess-sisi profile image61
        princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Lol! Thanks i enjoyed your answer the most!

    2. princess-sisi profile image61
      princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Thanks for your input.

  6. jellydonut25 profile image61
    jellydonut25posted 7 years ago

    You really have to take stock of, and know YOURSELF first.

    What is important to YOU? What are the things YOU want in life? Then, can that other person help you get them or (if applicable) do they want the same things?

    Some of the big deal-breaker decisions:
    Kids
    Pets
    Where to live (city, state, country...)
    What you DO for a living (I doubt a teacher would get along super well with a mechanic for example)
    Religious values (this one is especially important in the 'kids' section...like if you decide you EVENTUALLY want kids but just not now, then what methods you take to NOT have kids)

    at the same time, you NEED to be different from each other, NEED to have a few things you can do and enjoy SEPARATE from each other, or you'll drive each other crazy...

    honestly, think about what it's like to have a roomate in a college dorm, and ask yourself if you could do that with a person...cuz sometimes, that's what it's like
    ESPECIALLY when you introduce kids/pets...I don't speak from experience on kids, but when we got a puppy, the first 3 weeks were no-sleep, no-fun, no-sex...cuz we were wiped out dealing with a little ball of energy that just nips, and barks, and whines, and pees, and poops, and eats, and etc etc etc...

    that's all stuff that people don't really THINK about

    but the most important one...are you willing to SACRIFICE your vision of your life JUST to be with that person? because there WILL come a time when you look at them and think "if i didn't get married, I could be doing [_____] right now..." and you HAVE to be not just OKAY with that...but HAPPY about it

  7. Disturbia profile image60
    Disturbiaposted 7 years ago

    Yes! The answer is yes! I think you should rush into everything. Some things are best enjoyed in the heat of the moment.

    Get married when you are still in the heat of passion and don't wait till the flames have died down and everything has become routine or boring.

    As far as the right one, well for some people there is only one right one, but for others there are many right ones depending on where they are in their lives and what their needs are.  The right one is the one who is meeting and fulfilling your needs... at the time.

    I know there are plenty of people who will not agree with this and I didn't always feel this way, but I've come to realize that everything changes all the time, why should relationships be any different.

  8. flread45 profile image82
    flread45posted 7 years ago

    By rushing into marriage just creates problems down the road.
    How many people reveal everything that is happening in their lives,when maybe all they want is to get some fast track sex from you.
    Background check one before you indulge or you may be getting involved in more problems than you intended too.
    Gambling,Pornography,Molestor,woman beater,convicted felon,In debt to deep to get out,etc...
    You may not think so,but I have seen it happen many times to many people..

  9. Alessia Amnesia profile image59
    Alessia Amnesiaposted 7 years ago

    You should try living together for a year before you get married. See if you can actually live in the same house and get along most days. Basically, pretend to be married without actually taking the plunge. Yes, things are fun in the heat of the moment, but it is better to know what you're getting yourself into.

    1. princess-sisi profile image61
      princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      thanks for your advice!

  10. Dame Scribe profile image61
    Dame Scribeposted 7 years ago

    Usually I'm allergic to the *M* word hmm but if he can stir my Soul and see who, what,where, etc, of Dame, then maybe my affliction will disappear. lol for now, I will remain single and be content with saying hello big_smile

    1. prettydarkhorse profile image64
      prettydarkhorseposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Hey Dame, good am

      Dont know for me, find a bf first, then lets see...

      1. princess-sisi profile image61
        princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        very true

    2. princess-sisi profile image61
      princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I can dig that, I feel the same way!

  11. myownworld profile image78
    myownworldposted 7 years ago

    hmm...how about those who DID rush into marriage and are now dying to rush out!!! big_smile

    1. 0
      Justine76posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      lol err..  sad  wichever is more appropriate..

    2. princess-sisi profile image61
      princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I bet you they are!

  12. Has_aWayWithWords profile image79
    Has_aWayWithWordsposted 7 years ago

    Marriage takes work, marriage is not just knowing someone is right for you or not. Speaking from experience it takes so much more than just loving each other. I love my ex wife to this day and I wish things had been different but somewhere along the way the work it took for us to be happy became too much. You may know this person is the one for you but who knows if ten years from now they will be the same person and who knows if both of you will still be willing to put in the effort. My advice is to follow your heart and to always remember to do the little things and be willing to work hard at being happy. Approach it like it is a job you really love and want to succeed at.

    1. Isabelle22 profile image61
      Isabelle22posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I am so sorry to hear yours did not work out you sound like you are a great guy.

    2. princess-sisi profile image61
      princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Come a job no way. Stay single

  13. Has_aWayWithWords profile image79
    Has_aWayWithWordsposted 7 years ago

    Thank you :0)   I try to be a great person and above all a great father. With that said we all have our ups and downs and I guess that was just one of the downs. I don't claim to be an expert on marriage cuz if I was I wouldn't be divorced...lol  but I can speak on my experiece and tell everyone honestly that it takes effort from both parties every day to keep the love going strong

  14. skyfire profile image72
    skyfireposted 7 years ago

    Relationship takes time. If you can't spend much time with partner and partner is not understanding one for you then relationship will find it's way out. So i think never rush into relationship. Also not to misunderstood each other on almost every point that is passed. Better spend time knowing each other.

  15. princess-sisi profile image61
    princess-sisiposted 7 years ago

    nice, seems like a good idea.

  16. ambieca profile image81
    ambiecaposted 7 years ago

    if you are unsure of marriage, than you should not get married.  Even when you are head over heels in love, marriage takes work, especially when you add regular everyday situations like kids, work, home, bills etc.  On the other hand, if you are ready to take it on, and be by eachothers side no matter what, it is very worth it. work together to put the effort in and get a lot in return.  Make sure you are best friends and good companions.

    1. princess-sisi profile image61
      princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Thanks for your response.

  17. Anamika S profile image71
    Anamika Sposted 7 years ago

    Both situations have its pros and cons. You should never rush into marriage as it is a lifelong commitment. It is essential that you choose well and ensure that you made the right choice. I have written articles on both 1e Being Single and Married.

    Ten Reasons for Getting Married
    http://hubpages.com/hub/Ten-Reasons-for-Getting-Married

    Being Single and Happy
    http://socyberty.com/relationships/bein … t-possible

    1. princess-sisi profile image61
      princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Thanks I'm going take a look at what you wrote.

  18. princess-sisi profile image61
    princess-sisiposted 7 years ago

    I sounds harder than what it seems.

  19. Isabelle22 profile image61
    Isabelle22posted 7 years ago

    They should live together at least three and a half years before they get married, I would not consider marriage unless I pre-trialed it.

    1. princess-sisi profile image61
      princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Thats a good idea! thanks

  20. 0
    lyricsingrayposted 7 years ago

    will never marry again.  ever.  love the freedom of knowing i can walk if so desired. easy.

    1. princess-sisi profile image61
      princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Did you have a bad experience.

  21. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 7 years ago

    Marriage is good until it's not mine...
    Relationship and some kind of committment is ok, but marriage... too dangerous for my freedom wink

    1. princess-sisi profile image61
      princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      You must enjoy your freedom!

  22. dave272727 profile image60
    dave272727posted 7 years ago

    Getting married wouldn't curb your freedom.  You would still be the same person.  You would just be one half of a set.  Yes you wouldn't be able to go out and pick up a guy/girl, but you have the security knowing that someone loves you for who you are and will be at home waiting for you.

  23. 0
    lyricsingrayposted 7 years ago

    Marriage gives me hives and 'i get all itchy.  Don't know why though.  hummmmm...

    1. dave272727 profile image60
      dave272727posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I don't know either.  They do make a cream for that though....

  24. torimari profile image79
    torimariposted 7 years ago

    People have given great advice from both sides...marriage is a big decision. Huge. It makes my brain hurt.

    Even if I found someone that I could see being with for along time...even my life, I'd be scared to marry.

    I'd like to think I wouldn't need to make some contract or have some ceremony to confirm our love or to live together personally.

    Besides I just turned 23...forget marriage for a long time. I'm single while I watch all my friend's 1-2 year marriages crumble.

    Doesn't make me any more excited for a proposal, hehe.

    However, for some marriage works...I really admire those elderly couples still married, walking in the park with their canes. So sweet. smile But, other than that...nah.

    1. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Hey Torimari,

      My grandmother and her live-in boyfriend were together 30 years, before she got dementia. He passed on 1 year after she left. She passed on less than 11 months later.

      I considered him my uncle, as family. His family disowned him. When he died, they only wanted pictures he had. They didn't even care about the funeral.

      1. torimari profile image79
        torimariposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        That is so bittersweet. But, also a good story.

        Both the dementia and disowning by his family...at least they had each other and passed within less than a year. No coincidence there.
        Thanks for sharing...I'd take that over any crappy and rushed marriage (not saying all are...just the crappy ones big_smile ).

        1. Cagsil profile image61
          Cagsilposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          big_smile smile

      2. The Rope profile image60
        The Ropeposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        What a wonderful relationship and to have ended in such a sad and narrow minded way!  May your family enjoy many more blessings and much future happiness built on their memory!

    2. Cagsil profile image61
      Cagsilposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Btw- I love your outlook. smile

  25. Ohma profile image79
    Ohmaposted 7 years ago

    Never rush! You have the rest of your life! take time to enjoy the romance!

  26. 60
    Life as I see Itposted 7 years ago

    I don't think any one is ever ready to get married. I was with
    my fian'ce for ten years. We had two beautiful children and I didn't feel like a piece of paper would justify our love for each other. We did get married but I already felt married 9years ago. Make sure you are ready to get married. I would think this way if you can imagine that something horrible happened to him and you would have to spend every day washing him, feeding him, and sacrificing all of you to him and not getting anything back. If that doesn't scare you then you are ready and willing. I married till death do us part so remember that , that's the real key to marriage ..... Forever

    1. princess-sisi profile image61
      princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      thanks for the answer.

    2. princess-sisi profile image61
      princess-sisiposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Well sometimes in life thing happen unexpectedly and we just have to deal with them even if its clean a loved one or caring for them doesnt matter which as long as the loves there.

  27. theirishobserver. profile image59
    theirishobserver.posted 7 years ago

    I just want the love not the responsibility smile

  28. aulialuqmanaziz profile image61
    aulialuqmanazizposted 6 years ago

    To decide whether s/he is the right one or not, one may not use his logic only. There's a part for heart, intuition, or "instinct" that should not be forgotten. To marry someone is not the same with to buy new laptops. The latter you may use your logic for the most part as to see its specification, etc. But to marry, it's more to our heart's work. We, Moslems, have several techniques to do that spiritually. We believe that God has created our true partner. Our job is to find him/her. And here you can't use a set of ideal husband/wife checklist to every man/woman you meet. You need to use your heart and believe to God that He knows who's best for you.
    Hope this helps.

  29. sexeducationnow profile image61
    sexeducationnowposted 6 years ago

    if u fall in love, nothing like marriage, but with the changing times, the trends seem to b changing too...ppl are preferring live ins. And i guess they are the right thing to get into considering how frivolous marriages have become these days..
    but staying single is not the way out by any chance...as we grow old we all need company to share our joys and sorrows...so sooner or later...get  a partner for yourself ! smile

  30. 0
    babiiwovposted 6 years ago

    staying single is better I'm married about 6 months and its not what I tough it would be yes I'm happy but not all the time. when ur single u get to do what u want spend time with whoever u want u get to do anything you dont have no one to please or give explanations to. once ur married things change drastically but when u really love that person ur willing to do anything to see them happy even if it means not making urself happy.

  31. Hokey profile image59
    Hokeyposted 6 years ago

    Marriage is a wonderful institution for people who like living in institutions

  32. scentualhealing profile image60
    scentualhealingposted 6 years ago

    No one can tell you it is right except you.

    When you are in it you will know, men and women talk of dreams of what marriage will be like that never dreamed or talked of it before,  they each start seeing the other as a mom or a dad, or themselves as a parent.

    A marriage is two separate but whole individuals coming together to learn and grow in love.

    It is a union that many do not take seriously or that it actually till death to us part, 99% of the population is self-centered and once it grows stale they want the next one in line.  At the first sign of trouble they run.

    Marriage is not for the faint at heart or the thin skinned.

    Marriage is not just for having children.

  33. 0
    Kenrick Chatmanposted 6 years ago

    I'm trying to remain single as long as I can since I still have more good times ahead.

 
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