Recently in a friends break up I asked who was moving out of their apartment. The reply was neither of us. I found this a little odd. Then when I was told what the new arrangements were to be I was even more bewildered.
The arrangement was that he was moving into the second bedroom up the other end of the house. They had a child and business together so it was easier to just do this. Oh! and less expensive. She also told me that it would keep the peace in the neighbourhood and in the extended family.
When I asked what had instigated the split of course infidelity was mentioned... his. So, this prompted me to ask about their decision about bringing new partners into the mix. Oh she had not thought about this.
I hope it works out for them and I realise nothing last forever but I wonder about the affect on their child as far as modeling appropriate relationships and family living situations. I didn't even delve into the financial side of their personal lives.
BTW this is my dearest friend (should I say friends)so asking questions was appropriate as she understood they were not for gossip purposes. (we discuss everything and we like our 'confront the fact type of relationship'). I also hope I am NEVER asked to take sides in any of this cos I love both of them dearly.
What do others think of this arrangement??
I agree with the writer. I feel that the children are key in this scenario. Think how confused they will be if their parents, still living together, start having new "friends' visit them in their home. How confusing will that be? And what a terrible example to set for them. I am sure they are not thinking about that, but our children learn from what we model to them. I have made mistakes myself. I am not judging them, but trust me. BIG MISTAKE there, not to mention the tension that this will build when the time comes and the resulting hostility. They are setting themselves up for turbulent times.
I just couldn't live under the one roof, as you said if they are going to be bringing partners into the house, what's that going to do to the child? Breakups are just the pits.
My ex cheated on me while living together there was no kids involved, so when he moved into his new place as pay-back I put prawn shells into the seams of his curtains, he never found where the smell was coming from, and from what I heard he moved into a new place LMAO.
Sounds like something my wife would do. You sure you're not a secret redhead?
Haaaa Ghost not in this life no. But secretly I have always kind of desired to be a redhead...Did u hear about that girl in the UK whose boyfriend cheated on her so while he was at work she sold his porche on Ebay for $5.00 Buy It Now, I remember reading that in the news haaaa. Oh thank god I'm not that bad.
Ha ghost..lololol which one of the seven???lololol
I just through the fish tank out the second floor window onto his(OUR) commodore. That WAS a lovely car before that.
Heard others do that. I would never live in the same house as some one who had betrayed me.
It can work, but it takes work, just like anything.
When my ex-husband and I divorced in 2003, when our daughter was 11, he moved into a mobile home next door on the same acreage. I had agreed to give him the house and land, but I stipulated that I be allowed to remain in the house with my daughter until she graduates from high school. It's a temporary arrangement for us all, but it allows my daughter access to both parents anytime she wants. Both of us have remarried and things work well for us. We don't do the every other weekend thing, she has always had freedom to see both whenever she wanted. We both were very respectful of her when we were dating others. She's 17 now and wonders how other kids handle only seeing each parent on a parttime basis.
hello...ty for your comment...
Children can have access to bout parents even when they live apart. Different strokes for different folks so I hope things are good for all of you.
PS... some children never see their fathers... i guarantee thats hard
First of all, if I was your friend, I would be very angry if I ever saw my personal bidness, lol, on here! Secondly, this will never work in a million years. But, I ran like a wild turkey when I got divorced, ran for the hills and my freedom, with nothing but my personal possessions and all my clothes. Material things can be replaced!
Hi rialee, I'm glad that the adults are thinking about their child and trying to work out something so that the child is able to see both parents. I wonder if the parents can withhold animosity at such close quarters, especially once one parent starts dating, they might have to establish house boundaries and rules which could be a little odd. If they are able to be civil, it might work.
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I don't have pre teen children, but I say spank away.
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