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Do you ever...

  1. Jane@CM profile image59
    Jane@CMposted 7 years ago

    feel completely and totally foolish for believing someone, letting them into your life only to find they are fake, fraud...?

    1. Mikel G Roberts profile image86
      Mikel G Robertsposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Yes marriage should be outlawed in my opinion too.


      wink

      1. Daniel Carter profile image91
        Daniel Carterposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Pessimist!
        (I agree...)

    2. Daniel Carter profile image91
      Daniel Carterposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Yup. I did that twice. I guess I couldn't learn the lesson the first time. The problem for me was that they were so completely convincing with sincerety and so much other convincing evidence. In the end, it was complete deception and fraud in one case, and complete lies, cowardice and deceit in the other.

      I could be so jaded and disallusioned, and still sometimes feel residual anger, but I believe there are lots of genuine people in the world, so I try to let the past not haunt me.

      1. Jane@CM profile image59
        Jane@CMposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I thought I'd learned my lessons a long time ago.  Never to trust, it always backfires.  I do trust my husband - so marriage is a good thing for me smile

        1. TamCor profile image79
          TamCorposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          I'm so sorry for what you've been through, Jane...sad

          I feel so much the same way you do--I have one "real" friend who lives across the country from me, and has for more than 20 years now.  We email back and forth, but very rarely see each other...somehow, that works best for me.

          My best friend is my husband--like you, I trust him completely.  Mine helped me get through the same sort of problems you're having now with panic attacks, and not wanting to leave our home...

          I'm pulling for you!!!


          Tammy

          1. Jane@CM profile image59
            Jane@CMposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            Thanks Tammy and everyone else.  I feel better after journaling and reading your thoughtful posts smile

    3. curlytree2009 profile image46
      curlytree2009posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Not yet. It can only happen if you let yourself being fooled by that someone. You should know your limitations, be smart enough and respect yourself as the way you want to be respected. smile

  2. profile image0
    Brenda Durhamposted 7 years ago

    Yep.
    Been there; done that; took a while to get over it; friends I thought were friends....really were not...
    Are you alright, Jane?

  3. KCC Big Country profile image83
    KCC Big Countryposted 7 years ago

    Liars suck big time.

  4. tantrum profile image61
    tantrumposted 7 years ago

    Only happened to me once with a 'best' friend.He was like a brother to me for a year or so, and then I began to noticed he lied a lot about stupid things. Then he began with some mind games. He was playing with me and with his other friends as well.I  was lucky to spot that  something was wrong with him. I discovered all his little and dark secrets and told him off. It happened he had some mental issues. He even was medicated.
    He stills calls me once in a while, but I never answer back.

    1. Jane@CM profile image59
      Jane@CMposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Mind games and liars - I thought I'd grown up enough to spot them.

  5. Jane@CM profile image59
    Jane@CMposted 7 years ago

    I'm good. Thanks for asking Brenda.  I'm mostly confused & a bit angry.  Guess its a good time to pull out my journal and hand write for a bit.

    1. tantrum profile image61
      tantrumposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      So tell us what is bothering you.

      1. Jane@CM profile image59
        Jane@CMposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Well I could write a book.  Same old story.  Thought I'd finally found a real friend, someone I could talk to and share myself with.  Someone I thought I could trust.  I thought this person would understand my panic disorder and agoraphobia - in good ole Jane fashion, I just made them run the other way.  Who wants to deal with a person who can't go farther than a mile from her house alone?

        1. tantrum profile image61
          tantrumposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          I would deal with my friends if this happen to them !
          did they just leave you alone, or harm you in any way ?

          1. Jane@CM profile image59
            Jane@CMposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            Oh no, no harm. Just one less person I can trust sad

        2. profile image0
          blatvaposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          I want to big_smile  I think Jane is awesome.

    2. rebekahELLE profile image91
      rebekahELLEposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      sorry to hear that Jane, sometimes people just aren't ready or willing to get involved. pulling out the journal sounds good, it helps me to write things out and then later I'll read it and find a treasure, something I was supposed to learn.

      have you ever heard of the book by Don Miguel Ruiz about The Four Agreements?  it's really a wonderful little book, one of the agreements is: (copied if for you)

      2. Don't Take Anything Personally
      Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering

      It wasn't because of you. people respond from something within.
      I think we've all probably done that though, I know I have.
      hugs. smile

      1. Jane@CM profile image59
        Jane@CMposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I have that book, and you are so right!

  6. profile image0
    Brenda Durhamposted 7 years ago

    Whether it's platonic friends or more personal,  yeah it stinks when they use or abuse you.
    You'll come through it stronger though, I believe.
    Always helps to express it verbally or in writing;  that journal will be interesting; wish you the best!

  7. tantrum profile image61
    tantrumposted 7 years ago

    But I don't understand !
    In your OP you say :

    'feel completely and totally foolish for believing someone, letting them into your life only to find they are fake, fraud...?'

    What did this person do  ,for you to think it's fake ?

    Leaving you ?
    Maybe she/he wasn't prepared to cope with your problem ?

    1. Jane@CM profile image59
      Jane@CMposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      Thats it Tantrum, she was not able to cope with my problem.  I should have been clearer...she led me to believe she understood my problem, could help me out, would listen confidentially.  I listened to her, I trusted.

  8. profile image0
    sneakorocksolidposted 7 years ago

    I'm sorry to hear that. You deserve better.smile

  9. Flightkeeper profile image79
    Flightkeeperposted 7 years ago

    I think you should write a hub.  Make it funny.  Imagine what you'd do to her in a fantasy way.  Something like Hanging and Other Ways to Torture a Friend Who Betrays You.  There's no reason not to earn money on that experience.

  10. AnythingArtzy profile image83
    AnythingArtzyposted 7 years ago

    I'm really sorry for what happened. I tend to be too trusting and get hurt alot and at present was betrayed by my only friend. i let her get through my wall and then wham she hit me with the bricks.

    All I can say is don't give up. not everybody will treat you bad. that's what keeps me goin.

  11. profile image0
    lyricsingrayposted 7 years ago

    Too Often, way too often.  I continue to trust to easily and it makes me gullible then I get hurt.  Never seem to learn from it though. sad

 
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