Name one thing you learned from dating your last partner.
For example I started dating a good friend, started doing drugs together, and now we are no longer together after a rocky year long relationship. I don't regret becoming lovers, but lesson learned: Don't do drugs with good friend who becomes great lover...ended horribly.
before my husband I was used only as a sex toy...I learned that I need to be careful who I date especially when that person was getting out of the military and going back to where ihs ex wife and daughter lived
I learned and am still learning (which must be a good sign) that after more than 40 years of many relationships I know nothing of how to behave or act in relationship matters! At the moment I am putting this down to my western self-centred and aggressive cultural behaviours - my beautiful, inside and outside, Chinese teacher for all of this despairs and thinks I am remedial kindergarten still, but I think I am improving by leaps and bounds!
Maybe you misunderstand me - I am trying it THE RIGHT WAY, under the instruction of my delightful chinese partner. One of the 'delights' of being in China is that culturally they are either way in advance of us socially or they never had the social skills driven out of them by warring their way into the modern world. I would say that the chances of a consultant in Chicago being of any use is as likely as a Chinese being unnecessarily rude.
But thanks for your concern Jon - care is always appreciated.
Not so - love has to be renewed every day. It is when we think we have got it and neglect it that it can appear an illusion. Love is first about caring and (as a student in these matters) I am taught that care is a state of being, not something you do when you think about it.
It could be... but actually, thinking about it, I think it is because I tend to get bored easily. If the other person is not challenging enough I quickly loose interest. All and all, I love the feeling of being in love.
Ah, therein lies the rub - Will Shakespeare - who also has a lot to say about being in love with love. But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. I read this as Romeo is in love with the idea of love - and Juliet steps into the frame; being in love with falling in love, just as you describe If you get hooked on that then you are hooked on relationship starts and never get past the sunrise to high noon, and then near sunset, when you get old and wrinkly like me, you are on your own kiddo.
I learned that people can do and say anything, and you can believe it. And it probably means in the moment they even believe it themselves. However, in my last relationship, I was completely unprepared to be abandoned and cut off over night. There was never an unkind word. But it did reveal how volatile and unstable that person is, and I've had to learn a lot and see the signs clearly.
I learned what a concussion was. All jokes aside, I learned that a mother's love can give oneself a strength not previously known. I probably would have stayed longer if I had not decided that my kids, and I, deserved a better life.
I learned that a man can put on act to worm his way to marriage and rent-free life in a house that already belongs to a woman. Once he is safe, he returns to lazy slob ways. When the relationship breaks down, he lies and cheats his way through the divorce courts to screw money out of that woman. It is the lazy and the wastrels of either sex who gain from divorce, over those who work hard and save.
Pay attention to what your long time friends are saying about your new boyfriend. They may see things that you miss while looking through your rose colored glasses.
Never trust someone who doesn't like your dog. Or who you catch in the act of two-timing you. Or who buys someone else romantic cards while you're shopping with him. Or who leaves their kid for you to baby sit while they go out with another woman.
I have learned about relationship that you can't trust people cause in the beginning they are nice then thry become some rude people.that is why i have to be alone again.Maybe so people are the way they are due to themselves.
I didn't date my last partner, I married him. I learned that if you let someone control you, it is an extremely rare person that won't, and some don't know where to stop. I, too, learned that I could do a lot more for my child's sake than I could for my own. Then I learned that the judicial system doesn't really care who has the better situation for a child, even when it's a very obvious difference, it tends to go to those with connections. Finally, I found out that 70% of men who fight for custody in the US win, the reason women still tend to get the kids more often is because some men either don't care or because some are grown up enough to realize that very young children need their mother so they don't fight for it. I then got to find out what it feels like to be a stay at home, work at home mother with no kid to take care of.
All I can say is their father must have some major connections because my husband had to fight for 12 years to get his son even when mom admitted to doing drugs and moved with astonishing frequency! I also have a good friend who is still fighting for custody of two of his children because mom's new guy got her hooked and she's terribly addicted. My ex-husband fought but I was clearly the better choice as I was always clean and had provided a stable healthy life for them away from him. His parents are connected but he still lost. I am in no way suggesting that you were using or are unfit, please don't misread that. I am just suprised that so many fathers do win when I have seen the opposite. All I can say is never give up!!!!
I was engaged to a guy who married someone else six weeks after we broke up and threatened to sue me and send me nasty emails. I've learned that love can put the blinders on and that getting involved with a sociopath can be very dangerous and destructive.
At the end of the day, I learned its very easy to get swept up in the romance and that it takes a long time to truly get to know someone.
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