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Is Chivalry dead?

  1. Stevennix2001 profile image82
    Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago

    In the immortal words of famous stand up comedian, Dave Chappelle, "Chivalry is dead.....and women killed it.  It's because of all them magazines, making you girls feel fatter and uglier.  Until those magazines make you all forget just how beautiful you really are."  I know that's a bit extreme to assume that women magazines are the cause of chivalry dying out these days in modern relationships, as i'm sure there's other factors involved here. that's why i would humbly like to ask everyone on hubpages, what are your thoughts?  is chivalry dead?  and if it is, who killed it?

    1. alexandriaruthk profile image52
      alexandriaruthkposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      women and men are considered to be equal supposedly, but the society treat them as unequal, women dont need men to be chivalrous
      chivalry is dead because women doesnt need the feel for men to do it, they can do anything now
      We dont need men to open doors for us but to treat us eqaully and lovingly, respect us and be sensitive to our needs

      chivalrous activity should not be synonymous to treating your women nicely or in case the women to men

      except of course in cases like lifting heavy objects etc.....

      1. profile image0
        Justine76posted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I would love me some chivalary!! (or courtesy..I just read that definition..)I dont need it, sure. I take care of myself just fine, but I wouldn't mind beign treated with decency, respect, and a little bit of door opening.

        1. Mikel G Roberts profile image86
          Mikel G Robertsposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          and if a man does that he gets called a chauvinist.

          Women seem to want the best of both worlds and to dump the worst of both on men...IMHO

          1. profile image0
            Justine76posted 7 years ago in reply to this

            I suppose some women do that, I woudln't.

          2. profile image0
            Madame Xposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            Women have become so stupid sad



            You just said a mouthful.

        2. alexandriaruthk profile image52
          alexandriaruthkposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          yes chivalry is different from being treated with respect and decency, now that is what we need as human beings

          what I am saying is that chivalrous activity is different form the needs we like as partner, we need love, understanding, respect and dencency like you said

          being chivalrous is one aspect of it

          1. profile image0
            Justine76posted 7 years ago in reply to this

            oh, sure! Its not a need. But I do wish it wasn't gone. sad
            Oh well, what can you do?

    2. double_frick profile image79
      double_frickposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      i strongly believe the "feminist" movement killed chivalry. hmm
      women wanted equality so bad, now it seems women are fully stepping into the men's role. in fact, around here the dad's are the ones who stay around for the kids, the moms slut around. the boyfriends and husbands sit up playing video games while their dear significant other is out  working bringing in the cash. sad...
      but isn't that what women wanted?

      i guess i got lucky finding someone with "traditional" family values. and so did he, seriously, all his friends baby's moms...left. or are cheating. and never home. as daddy struggles to take care of the baby. its a damn shame, for the kids.

  2. Mikel G Roberts profile image86
    Mikel G Robertsposted 7 years ago

    Yes, and it is the Equal Rights movement that killed it. How can we take care of a lesser gender, if there isn't a lesser gender?

    1. Stevennix2001 profile image82
      Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      i don't know if i agree with you about that. to be honest, even though it is a proven fact that we are the most physically stronger of the two genders.  however, i think women are vastly superior when it comes to intellect and patience than men are.  therefore, i can't say i agree with you on that women are the weaker sex, as I would never view women like that myself.  however, i do value your opinion, so I would like to say thanks for sharing.  smile

      1. Mikel G Roberts profile image86
        Mikel G Robertsposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        When did I ever say that there was a lesser gender or that women were that lesser gender?

        I said, you can't protect a lesser gender if there isn't a lesser gender...

        {thanks for the compliment}

        1. Stevennix2001 profile image82
          Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

          yeah, but why does there have to be a lesser gender at all for guys to be chivalrous? I mean it's still possible.

          1. Mikel G Roberts profile image86
            Mikel G Robertsposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            Wiki:
            Chivalry[1] is a term related to the medieval institution of knighthood. It is usually associated with ideals of knightly virtues, honor and courtly love. The word is derived from the French word "chevalerie", itself derived from "chevalier", which means knight, derived from "cheval", horse (indicating one who rides a horse). Today, the terms chivalry and chivalrous are often used to describe courteous behavior, especially that of men towards women.

            Redefining the meaning to be something else means we are not talking about chivalry but some new concept applied to the old name.

      2. profile image0
        LegendaryHeroposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        You are both right and wrong about intelligence. Women's IQ's are more centered around an average, while men's are more spread out, so there are more male genius and more male idiots.

        http://www.mwilliams.info/images/normal-gender01.gif

        And I don't believe that chivalry is dead either. I just think some guys don't show it because they don't know what that women's particular reaction to it would be.

  3. mikelong profile image84
    mikelongposted 7 years ago

    It depends on one's use of the word "chivalry"..

    As opposed to its popular conception regarding the nice treatment of women by men, it is important to note that this "code" of respect only applied to nobility...

    According to the code of chivalry, noble men could sexually do whatever they wanted to common women...rape was very chivalrous....

    That part of chivalry appears to still be with us..

    1. Stevennix2001 profile image82
      Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

      that's very true. I forgot about that part of chivalry. well to be honest, i was referring to the romantic side of men doing nice things for women, and not the rape and treating women like slaves/objects part.

    2. habee profile image91
      habeeposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      I have a copy of the chivalric code, and this isn't what mine says! Remember what happened to Sir Gawain when he raped a commoner?

      1. Sab Oh profile image60
        Sab Ohposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        crabs?

  4. Rafini profile image85
    Rafiniposted 7 years ago

    I agree with Mikel.  the ERA killed chivalry - along with everyone who grew up during that time learning that Girls can open doors for themselves because they ARE capable.  lol

    plus there are women out there who dont want their men to be chivalrous because they think that makes the men chauvenists

  5. Stevennix2001 profile image82
    Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago

    well, i don't know if i can still agree that the equal rights movement killed chivalry to be honest.  If you ask me it's the corporate media and commercialism that killed it.  I mean think about it.  Back in 1840's when Howland invented the greeting cards for valentine's day, which allowed for people to just buy generic greeting cards to display their feelings for their lover.   To where now basically we get to a point in our society that a man could just easily buy a 1000 dollar ring, to prove he loves his woman.  Versus back before commercialism and media, guys would write their women songs, poetry and stuff like that from the heart.  Therefore, I think it's because of the commercialism that's killed off chivalry as guys don't have to give women things from the heart anymore.  It's like Kay commercials say, just buy her a diamond jewelry and that'll prove you love her more so than something  you made for her.  lol.

    1. Rafini profile image85
      Rafiniposted 7 years ago in reply to this

      i can buy into the greeting cards being the beginning of the end to chivalry...

    2. Stevennix2001 profile image82
      Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago

      hmmm...i guess according to the majority of you, you guys claim it's due to equal rights. i wonder if anyone else has another theory?

      1. double_frick profile image79
        double_frickposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        during the height of the feminist movement you have men learning that women get their new-big-girl-britches-in-a-bunch when they open a door for them, now i'm just as lucky to get a woman holding the door as a man. which is fine. but yes, first women complain that men treat them too helpless, they want independence and equality. great things, who wouldn't want that. but the way it happened pushed taught men women prefer "different" treatment and slowly but surely chivalry as been all but phased out completely.

        so i do blame the feminist movement even though i know that was not really the intent.

    3. manlypoetryman profile image75
      manlypoetrymanposted 7 years ago

      Is Chivalry dead? Probably not...but it might soon be forgotten!

      I'm reading some of the answers here...and wondering if it truly is on its' way..."bye, bye!"

    4. Greek One profile image79
      Greek Oneposted 7 years ago

      If you define Chivalry as a man treating a woman with respect, and the celebrating of the natural differences between the sexes, then no, i don't think it is dead (but it is perhaps missing in many relationships).

      If you define it incorrectly an excuse to put woman in a subservient or inferior position, or to otherwise treat them as less than equal as people, then sadly, I still don't think it is dead in that case either.

      I think we should treat one another as equals and not put limits on what someone can do based on their sex.. but that doesn't mean we can't enjoy our differences

    5. Cagsil profile image60
      Cagsilposted 7 years ago

      Chivalry is not dead. Not as long as I am alive. The act of chivalry is a personal preference. It's taught or handed down from generation to generation, ages to ages, and culture to culture.

      The choice of a person to be chivalrous is completely up to them. However, if they were not to act in this manner, then it's likely they know nothing about it.

      As for what it is truly? I will agree with some, it's about complete respect for your partner and those around you. It's about having harmony in one's life through honest actions.

      I am of the understanding, females who have "ego" of man, see chivalry as a sign of weakness in man. Their own ego is in the fact they don't see the respect being offered.

      Most women don't mind and would like men to be chivalrous. All women like to have things done for them, especially something that might seem meaningless, as opening a door so they can walk in first or if they are getting out of car(this is a little over-dramatic in today's society- hurry up and wait society - eliminated this function of chivalry for most men, simply because women open the door for themselves so as to cut down on time).

      Women love to be respected, honored and shown appreciation, regardless of how it's shown, as long as it's through love.

      Just my thoughts on the topic. Have fun! smile

      1. caravalhophoto profile image60
        caravalhophotoposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Yes...very well said smile

    6. Rafini profile image85
      Rafiniposted 7 years ago

      Chivalry is another of those interesting things.  It has basically come down to chivalry VS feminism / equal rights.

      There are times when I will get bent out of shape because a man I am with holds a door open for me, pulls out my chair, or offers to take my coat.  Why?  Because I can do it for myself! LOL  (and because its what I learned?)

      On the other hand, I have held doors open for men and women, pulled out a chair for someone (not in the same manner, however) and offered to take coats.  Why?  Because I think it's common courtesy.  If men have been doing it for women for centuries then its only right that women take a turn.

      1. Mikel G Roberts profile image86
        Mikel G Robertsposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Which kinda says treating men the way women no longer want to be treated...

        I don't want women to be chivalrous to me. I just want equal rights with women and minorities, which as a white male I do not have.

        1. Rafini profile image85
          Rafiniposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          yeah, kinda strange, huh?

          I understand what you're saying - sometimes I think we are ready to ditch the Equal Employment Opportunities, but then again, by not being a member of the minority I don't know if we truly are ready.

    7. Stevennix2001 profile image82
      Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago

      ummm...no offense guys, as i do appreciate your input here, and i think everyone here makes a valid point about chivalry.  however, lets not stray away from this original topic to talk about racism here, as that's not what this is about.  please.

      1. Mikel G Roberts profile image86
        Mikel G Robertsposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        NP sorry for highjacking the thread...

        1. Stevennix2001 profile image82
          Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

          oh no, it's nothing against you or what your saying.  it's just that I don't want this forum to turn into another one them where people start to get into pointless arguments  over stuff, and then people start to get banned for stupid reasons that's all.   besides, this forum is just a place for us all to have intellectual debates that's all.

    8. caravalhophoto profile image60
      caravalhophotoposted 7 years ago

      Oh yes chivlary is dead...but it is very important to me.  I do not like standing outside a vehicle in the rain waiting for my lock to be popped open from the inside.
      With the way the World is, I appreciate my man coming around the vehicle to open my door, I feel safer for him doing it.
      I have no problem opening a door myself, but it shows respect to me and makes me feel good that I am a lady to him.
      The same with him taking my coat and pulling out my chair...it really makes him look good in a public place and again it shows respect.
      My Son was raised with chivlary and his girlfriend thanks me for it...I raised a Gentleman that shows his lady respect...I am so proud.
      So it really has nothing to do with me doing it myself...to me, it shows respect, class and makes me feel good that he wants to do it for me, his momma taught him well...I'm sure he puts the toilet seat down also.

    9. Colebabie profile image60
      Colebabieposted 7 years ago

      Nope just sleeping smile

    10. maven101 profile image80
      maven101posted 7 years ago

      Yes...Chivalry, as understood by Americans, is dead ... it was killed in the 60's and buried in the 70's....Here is a real example that happened to me just last week...I was coming out of a bakery here and held the door open for a woman coming in...she looked at me and sniffed " you don't have to hold that door open for me "...I looked at her and said " Ma'am, I don't hold this door open for you per se, I hold it open for myself "...she didn't respond....

      1. caravalhophoto profile image60
        caravalhophotoposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        wow maven101...sorry that happened to you...I would have smiled and said thank you...

      2. profile image0
        A Texanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        That may be a location problem that kind of stuff is still appreciated in Texas!

        1. Stevennix2001 profile image82
          Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

          that's because us texans rock!!!

          1. profile image0
            A Texanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            That's a Capital T

            1. Stevennix2001 profile image82
              Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

              oh sorry.   "Texans Rock!!!"  lol lol

              1. profile image0
                A Texanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                There you go!

    11. profile image0
      lyricsingrayposted 7 years ago

      It's no where close to dead in my universe.  But hat's just me.

    12. TheGlassSpider profile image81
      TheGlassSpiderposted 7 years ago

      No, but it's on life support and lots of people are trying to pull the plug.

      1. profile image0
        lyricsingrayposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        hi glass, so good to see you big_smile

        1. TheGlassSpider profile image81
          TheGlassSpiderposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          Hi lyrics smile It's always good to see your beautiful face. I love your current avatar! *hugs*

          1. profile image0
            lyricsingrayposted 7 years ago in reply to this

            kisses and hugs and  more again

            glass read my new hub on hats you'll pee your pants

            well maybe not, your not wearing pants

            still good laugh

            i dont get fashion

            please help me understand

            1. TheGlassSpider profile image81
              TheGlassSpiderposted 7 years ago in reply to this

              Hehehe...*jumping over to hat hub*

            2. TheGlassSpider profile image81
              TheGlassSpiderposted 7 years ago in reply to this

              Oh lyrics...there's nothing to understand...That's not fashion, it's frivolity! LOL

              I just LOVE the big blue cheese hat. You couldn't even see the woman's HEAD! I mean, other ones covered people's faces...but that one just takes the...cheese, I guess.

              1. profile image0
                lyricsingrayposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                lol whew its not just me
                They scare me
                can't look at hub again
                ha
                have 50 more
                must do one more hub of 20 more
                I m still scared
                lol
                glad you helped me put things in perspective

    13. profile image0
      A Texanposted 7 years ago

      I don't really get the idea that its dying, Women in Texas still like being walked to their car having doors opened for them and chairs carefully tucked under their butts. I have never had one sneer at me or make rude comments like what happened to Maven, if I did I would probably say "I'm sorry,sir" and walk away, but thats just me.

      1. Stevennix2001 profile image82
        Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

        lol well put.

        1. profile image0
          A Texanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          Steven are you in Austin?

          1. Stevennix2001 profile image82
            Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

            yep, how  about you?

            1. profile image0
              A Texanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

              Round Rock, I read your review of paranormal activity a while back, I gotta tell you the review was much better than the film!

              1. Stevennix2001 profile image82
                Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

                lol  thanks.  i take it you didn't like the movie, huh?

                1. profile image0
                  A Texanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                  The end was kind of a let down, I was hoping for something else, you know some scary ass ghost, instead I got that.

                  1. Stevennix2001 profile image82
                    Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

                    lol.  fair enough.  oh well to each their own. lol.

                    1. profile image0
                      A Texanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

                      The rest was good, had me sitting till the end!

      2. caravalhophoto profile image60
        caravalhophotoposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I'm lovin you Texas men... wink

      3. profile image0
        lyricsingrayposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I am one of the obvious few that don't want it to die. hmm:

        1. profile image0
          A Texanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          You are a real Woman!

        2. caravalhophoto profile image60
          caravalhophotoposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          I'm with you lyrics...

          I have sat in a car and the guy did not realize until he got to the buildings door...I got a sorry from him, but when we were leaving he ran to the car, brought it up to the curb and popped the lock, rather than getting out and opening my door for me...I never went out with him again...chivlary is very important and I very much appreciate it.

    14. profile image0
      lyricsingrayposted 7 years ago

      http://s2.hubimg.com/u/2683873_f520.jpg

      just a thought.

      1. Rayalternately profile image61
        Rayalternatelyposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        form an orderly queue now! big_smile

      2. caravalhophoto profile image60
        caravalhophotoposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        love it lol

        1. Cagsil profile image60
          Cagsilposted 7 years ago in reply to this

          That was funny! lol lol lol  I wouldn't go as far as to say "I Love It!", but it was funny. smile big_smile tongue

    15. LRobbins profile image79
      LRobbinsposted 7 years ago

      Good question.  I think it's dying, but not dead.  I think we need to revive it.

    16. Rayalternately profile image61
      Rayalternatelyposted 7 years ago

      chivalry isn't dead or sexiest or whatever, it's just being courteous to one another. I'll open the door for anyone, let you go first, stand up to let an old lady sit on the bus. It's just good manners, that's all. Remember them? big_smile

      1. profile image0
        A Texanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Thats absolutely right!

      2. Cagsil profile image60
        Cagsilposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Very few people remember the manners they were taught, as anyone under the age 21 presently. lol



        Edit: In some cases, some children grown to adults and never learned manners. roll

      3. profile image0
        lyricsingrayposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I Love You

    17. Cagsil profile image60
      Cagsilposted 7 years ago

      Okay, it's getting close to dying, but isn't dead yet. lol lol

    18. Misha profile image76
      Mishaposted 7 years ago

      Being a feminist and expecting chivalry is sorta hypocritical, doncha think? This does not address anybody in particular, just a blanket rhetorical question smile

      1. profile image0
        A Texanposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        What the hell is a feminist exactly? My Mother worked outside the home as a nurse long before the 60's crowd decided it was a conspiracy to keep women down, I consider her a feminist! And you better open the door or she'll stick a boot up your ass!


        (Disclaimer, A Texans mother does not wear boots)but you get the idea!

    19. profile image0
      lyricsingrayposted 7 years ago

      I am no feminist whatever that means but chivalry reminds me of all that make a man a gentleman and gem.  I will never let it die in my world. never.  And it will always be naturally shared both ways.

      1. K Partin profile image60
        K Partinposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        big_smile

      2. Cagsil profile image60
        Cagsilposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        cool

    20. tony0724 profile image60
      tony0724posted 7 years ago

      feminism killed chivalry.

      1. Colebabie profile image60
        Colebabieposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        Not at all. I think anyways.

        It is important to be respectful and courteous. Opening doors, carrying the umbrella, offering to pay (not always paying, but offering), just overall being kind and having good manners. I particularly wouldn't like a guy ordering for me. But thats just me.

        A definition that I found to be accurate:
        "Chivalry is only a name for that general spirit or state of mind which disposes men to heroic actions, and keeps them conversant with all that is beautiful and sublime in the intellectual and moral world."

    21. waynet profile image50
      waynetposted 7 years ago

      I don't know, I never knew em!

    22. habee profile image91
      habeeposted 7 years ago

      Young men these days are confused. Numerous high school students talked to me about chivalry when we were studying the chivalric code in Brit lit. They really don't know what's expected of them. Some have told me that when they've held doors open for women, they received snide remarks. Poor guys!

      I am happy to say, however, that chivalry is alive and well in the Deep South, especially among mature men.

    23. paul_gibsons profile image60
      paul_gibsonsposted 7 years ago

      why would it be dead? It was never that common anyway... anyway I haven't given up; instead I have extended it.  Why treat only women with kindness and respect... I'll open a door for anyone who is walking close behind me, man or woman. And it always amuses me how men, in contrast to women these days who kind of grudgingly acknowledge if at all (unless I say "go on, I've had enough of this "age before beauty"), are generally somewhat suprised and bother to smile and say thanks smile

      no, my beef is wearing a hat indoors, baseball cap wrong way round or anything else.... not in my house, much to the annoyance of my kids lol..

    24. paul_gibsons profile image60
      paul_gibsonsposted 7 years ago

      oh, I forgot... and those moronic stickers on hotel hair dryers saying: "do not use under the shower" Chivalry is alive and well, it's just common sense that died...

    25. Quilligrapher profile image90
      Quilligrapherposted 7 years ago

      Hi Steven!  I liked your opening questions, “is chivalry dead? And if it is, who killed it?” I don’t pretend to be an expert on this, or any, subject but that doesn’t stop me from having an opinion.

      When you refer to chivalry in society today in the USA, I think of social acts of courtesy extended by a gentleman to a lady in his company.  The same acts between two gentlemen are equally appropriate. They are simply called politeness.

      Those who suggest that such displays of good manners imply that the recipient is incapable or inferior, just don’t see it for what it is: a gesture of respect.

      Is it Dead?  I think not. But, like bell bottoms and tie-dyed shirts, it is increasing more difficult to find. I place responsibility for this, not with feminist or chauvinists so such, but with parents.  Gentlemen are not born with good manners, they acquire them from parents be they real or surrogate.  And, I might add, a lady who would discourage such behavior from a gentleman in her company doesn’t appreciate good manners when she sees them because she lacks them herself.

      1. Stevennix2001 profile image82
        Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

        that's a very good point.

    26. George Greene Jr. profile image60
      George Greene Jr.posted 7 years ago

      To this day , I still open doors for any lady (or gentleman).! I respect my elders! I help the disabled to get across the street!
      Chivalry will never die as long as we teach our children to have respect!

      1. Quilligrapher profile image90
        Quilligrapherposted 7 years ago in reply to this

        I think the best way to do that would be to open doors for children as well.
        Q.

    27. Flightkeeper profile image78
      Flightkeeperposted 7 years ago

      What a great topic steven! Very different.

      I think Chivalry is observed by a select few and I equate it to good manners.  I for one don't blame the women's lib movement.  You have people who grew up without manners and don't recognize it. I don't think I should stop being courteous just because someone else is being an ass. Of course, that doesn't apply in hubpage forums big_smile

      1. Stevennix2001 profile image82
        Stevennix2001posted 7 years ago in reply to this

        thanks flightkeeper, i'm glad you liked the topic.  smile  plus, you make a lot good points about the matter.

     
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