jump to last post 1-5 of 5 discussions (14 posts)

When he moves on first...

  1. TREX80 profile image59
    TREX80posted 6 years ago

    Married eleven years, he cheated. Divorced and now he is engaged! How do people do this? He begged me to give him more chances, that he is holding out hope for us. Ahhhhh! Just painful. I feel sorry for her. But for real, how do people live like this?

    1. tantrum profile image62
      tantrumposted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Love sometimes dies.
      Happens all the time.
      You should move on!
      And don't feel sorry for her. She's enjoying the moment !

      1. TREX80 profile image59
        TREX80posted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Thanks for the salt to pour in the wound smile

        1. tantrum profile image62
          tantrumposted 6 years ago in reply to this

          It was not meant like that.
          I was showing you Reality.
          I'm sure you will see it at the right time.

          1. TREX80 profile image59
            TREX80posted 6 years ago in reply to this

            I know, I just feel bad for her because she will see it too one day and I really don't wish this pain on anyone. And I need a shot of reality, it burns going down, but after two or three you get use to it and feel good smile.

  2. Black Lilly profile image60
    Black Lillyposted 6 years ago

    That's why I do NOT believe what they SAY, only what they DO wink

    Long ago my boss told me this: whatever effort you make, it's the result that matters; if there's no result, your efforts are worth nothing.
    And despite it being referred to business matters, it proves to be even more true in romantic relationships. Discovered this quite recently though - had I understood this about 10 years ago, life might have been very, very different now.

    In your case it does not matter what he said or did - the result is his engagement with someone else. And this is a FACT, the rest is just bulls**t. Sorry for being so blunt..

    1. TREX80 profile image59
      TREX80posted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Never apologize for being blunt. The truth whether it hurts or not, needs to be heard.

      1. Black Lilly profile image60
        Black Lillyposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        Sometimes it hurts to hear the truth.
        But it might hurt even more when you have to force yourself to take some action, i.e. responding to the truth you've heard.

  3. Ms Chievous profile image82
    Ms Chievousposted 6 years ago

    Sorry for your troubles.  The most important thing you can do right now is focus on you and take care of yourself. We can't control other people so we have to just take care of our own stuff.  Don't get caught up in the why or how of it all because it is probably not worth your time!  Do something for you today!

    1. TREX80 profile image59
      TREX80posted 6 years ago in reply to this

      Thank YOU!

  4. Chaotic Chica profile image83
    Chaotic Chicaposted 6 years ago

    I am afraid this is going to come off sounding hauty and callous but here it goes:
    You posted this because consciencely or subconsciencely you needed permission to be angry and be told to get over it.  In the most respectful way possible, you have got it.  I say this because it is what I did.  No matter how you feel, the proof that he lied, again, therefore toying with you further is beyond aggrevating. 
    Be angry, have a good cry, then erase every reminder you can of him and focus on you and you alone.  Unless of course you have kids then focus on them, too, but you get the point! smile

    1. TREX80 profile image59
      TREX80posted 6 years ago in reply to this

      You hit the nail on the head and its great advice. I think the problem for me is I am ready to be healed. I am ready to move foward, but I am paralyzed and can't seem to get one foot in front of the other. I always have to know "why". And I can't or probably will ever understand his explanation for "why". But thank you for saying what you did.

      1. Chaotic Chica profile image83
        Chaotic Chicaposted 6 years ago in reply to this

        You're welcome.  You most likely will never know why.  You need to get to that point where knowing why no longer matters, you need to get that angry and tell yourself that the reason behind his actions doesn't matter-only the result.  Men of poor character often keep one woman dangling until they either know the current one will be enough or the one dangling refuses to hold on.  so long as you beat yourself up over the what-if's and whys and what did I dos, he still has some remnant of hold over you.  He doesn't deserve that satisfaction, move on for yourself, move on to spite him, or both, LOL, just move on! smile I Hope that helps.

  5. Greek One profile image80
    Greek Oneposted 6 years ago

    It sounds like you were just cured of leprosy and feel sorry that someone else caught it

 
working